


Sesshomaru's Heart

by Elohiniar



Series: Tales of The Dog Lord [1]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Complete, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-02-16 15:21:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 48,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18694141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elohiniar/pseuds/Elohiniar
Summary: This is post Final Act.Interwoven in the exciting plot of Rin rushing to save Kohaku's life, are memories of Rin and Sesshomaru as she ages in Kaede's village. They are both forced to confront their feelings for each other one night under the light of the full moon. Can they admit their feelings or will they part forever? Please R&R





	1. Safe

Rin winced in pain as she finished packing the rest of the small items she needed for her journey. Herbs, dried meat, more bandages for her battered stomach. She had done her best to make a poultice with the herbs Jinenji had gathered for her to heal the wounds on her stomach. Large claw-marks ripped across her taught stomach. They were deep and still oozing slightly. She wore a different Kimono today reflecting the warmer weather. It was mostly dark brown with some light green stripes along the base. Her hikama were short, revealing her legs up to her thighs. She had wrapped her hands, wrist and feet in light white cloth, readying for her journey. She had only a few more things to pack and two letters to write. One for Kaede-sama and one for Sesshomaru-sama, should he come. She rolled her eyes, he had been away for a year, ever since something changed between them, ever since…well she didn’t want to think about the night of the full moon last year. She closed her eyes shaking the thoughts from her head, Kohaku was in danger, if she didn’t hurry he would die. 

To Kaede,   
Thank you for everything, I am grown now. I want to see the world and find my place in it. I will come visit soon.  
Love,   
Rin

Onegai, please give this letter to Sesshomaru Sama. Tell him to let me go. 

Long ago, she had begun to wonder why he still visited. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to, it was like they were trapped between being friends and an overbearing father and something else neither one of them was ready to admit. She hoped that Kaede would believe it, and not become suspicious. Rin had already sworn Jinenji to silence when she asked for help with her wounds. Jinenji’s herbs were able to ensure that she not only heal, but that Inuyasha with his pesky sense of smell would be none the wiser. It was made from a select group of herbs known to effect even full yokai. Jinenji’s mother made it to protect him when he was a child. Rin convinced him to make several pouches for her so that she would be prepared should he find her. He had a very bad habit, of forgetting that Rin was no longer a little girl that needed her hand held.   
Rin picked up the leather pouch with the powder and carefully poured it into five smaller pouches. Kagome-sama called them Ziploc bags. She, Shippo and Kohaku liked to use them for water fights. The pouches were made to break as soon as they hit their target and the fine sand-like green powder would temporarily blind the eyes of any yokai and blight their sense of smell. This powder was laced into the bandages on her stomach ensuring that Inuyasha would not smell the injuries. Finally, after packing dried fruits, and finding a water bottle, Rin was ready to go. It was the middle of the night, she didn’t want to say goodbye or answer questions, she had to go now, or it would be too late.  
Rin tiptoed out the front of her hut, the mud-floor was dusty from days of neglect. She hated cleaning and Kaede-sama knew it. Rin snuck silently on barefeet to Kaede’s sleeping mat. The old Miko snored as she slept. She was wrapped in a light sheet that Rin had given her. One of the many presents she received from Sesshomaru-sama over the years. She said a short prayer for the Shrine Maiden who had cared for her as Sesshomaru had requested. As she did, Rin allowed her mind to drift back to those first days in the village. When he left her in the village. 

It was the first time that Sesshomaru had offered her his hand. In the past he had raged at Kohaku in particular that his hand was meant for carrying a sword not for carrying children. She was sitting on a fence watching other children play in the distance. One of them she knew was a little girl named Satsu. She had her hair tied tightly into two little pony tails. She ran around in a ratty pink kimono that had holes in it. Rin looked down at her own, the yellow and orange patched material now came up to her knees where it used to hang down to her ankles. The little girl ran over to Rin, “hello, I’m Satsu, it’s nice to meet you!”   
Rin waved with her mouth closed tight.  
“Do you want to come play with us? We’re playing hide and seek!”   
Rin shook her head, she knew that Sesshomaru-sama would tell them it was time to leave soon. She felt claws tickle her tiny fingers. “Sesshoumaru-sama why haven’t we left?” Naraku was defeated, Sesshomaru-sama delivered the final blow to the tree carved face. Inuyasha and Kagome had not returned. She felt the hand tug slightly, indicating they should begin walking. Instead of moving away from the village, they walked closer to it. Rin felt a rush of panic grip her. She had heard whispering from Kaede to the monk and the slayer called Sango, that it wasn’t proper for her to continue following Sesshomaru around. What was he doing?  
He remained quiet at first. His feet silently padded down the dirt path, “Rin, you will stay here for a while.” The words were spoken with ease, but slammed her heart like a knife.  
“What? I want to stay with you!” His words had cut her, her stomach fell into her feet, she stopped following him. She attempted to dig her feet into the dirt path, blistering her heals, but his firm hand did not let go. She was just a child she could not say no to him or fight back. Rin slapped at his hand, she tried to pull it free, “no, no, no! I won’t go, I won’t go! Let go of me!” Ruthlessly she tried to kick at his shins, but her feet did nothing more but repay her with aching toes.  
Jaken stood behind her and when she began to assault Sesshomaru-sama the squirming frog screamed, “Rin, do not show such disrespect for Sesshomaru-sama.”  
“Shut up toad! Let me go.” She tried one more time to escape, but this time Sesshomaru-sama stopped and let go of her hand.   
His eyes were glowing golden, and he released a low growl. “Rin.” The word sounded wrong when said it, so unlike how she was used to hearing his voice. She didn’t know at the time, but she was sure it was doubt. Doubt that he was making the right choice.  
“Yes?” Her voice trembled, she looked at her feet and wiggled them in the dirt. She didn’t want to leave him. He was the first to show kindness to her after her family was killed by night robbers, the first to care for her, the first to comfort her. He even made a new Kimono for her when she traveled with him. Tears streamed from her small cheeks and fell on the to the ground. They carved small rivers in the dirt on her face.   
“Rin,” was that regret in his voice, he knelt down to be on her level, and gently placed one clawed finger under her chin to lift her face. “I will come back to check on you.”  
“No…” She sobbed and covered her face with her hands. Her shoulders were shaking so hard she could barely stand, she could hardly catch her breath. She was terrified. This village, this place, she had only been there a few days. Kaede-sama was nice enough, so were the others she had met, but this, she had not planned for.  
Behind her she heard Jaken whimper, “Sesshomaru-sama will not cry, he is too proud, so this Jaken must.” Tears flowed from his eyes like a waterfall, splattering the dirt.  
“Shut-up Jaken,” Sesshomaru growled. “Rin, when you stay with me, there is danger.” He paused, Rin was too young at the time to understand that he was on the verge of sorrow himself. “When you are older, when you have had the chance to understand being human, you will decide.”  
“Decide what?” She quivered. She knew now what that meant, when she was old enough to decide whether to join him or not, but whenever they talked about it, he seemed to have his own opinion. Eventually Rin became of the opinion that she would find her own place regardless of what he wanted, which turned into an even bigger yelling match between the two about whether or not she was allowed to leave the village alone.  
Sesshomaru didn’t answer, he made to stand. Before his knee could lift from the ground she grabbed the metal armor that protruded around his chest, her small face bringing his closer to hers, “will you hug me good-bye?”  
Jaken’s shrieked pierced the background. “Rin!! Such rudeness!! Of course, Sesshomaru-sama would never hug a human, who’s filth…” Jaken fell to the ground squealing in pain from Sesshomaru’s whip. His mouth flopped open, his tongue ejected in shock and the scene unfolded in front of his eyes.  
Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around Rin, folding her into the right side of his chest avoiding pressing her against his armor. She recalled he felt warm and home-like. It was the first time she had noticed that he had his own distinctive scent. His mokomoko smelled like the forest and pine trees. For a moment she thought she felt him inhaling the top of her head, her awkward pony tail ticking the inside of his nose. “You will be safe here.”   
“Who will take care of Rin now?”   
“Kaede,” Sesshomaru-sama answered her, “come,” stood. He let her keep her hand in his. She watched as it swung lightly by his side until they were parted.   
“Sesshomaru-sama?” The little girl whispered. “Don’t forget me!”   
His deep voice floated into her ears almost as if it didn’t exist, so quiet none heard but her, “I will visit often. I will not forget.” 

You will be safe here…those words, he had promised she would be safe. “Safe,” she snorted to herself. Who could was ever completely safe? As time moved on, Rin found a place for herself in the village. Jinenji taught her herbs and medicines along-side Kagome, when she finally returned. Sango taught her to fight demons and she sparred with Kohaku when he visited. Rin was already a skilled fighter, something she had kept from Sesshomaru-sama for fear of him impaling Inuyasha for placing her in danger. When he said safe, he meant safe, countless battles broke out between the two of them over the years when Sesshomaru felt like Rin was poorly guarded.   
If he only knew what happened the day she received the gashes on her stomach. If he had seen what had sliced into her, and how she lay in a pool of her own blood for an hour until Jinenji found her. Inuyasha wasn’t there that day. He was off with Kagome in a nearing village cleansing it of demons. Miroku and Sango were also away, leaving the village relatively unguarded. Kaede was off at some hut on the other side of the forest helping a woman in childbirth. Neither one of them were a match for what came ravaging through the trees that day. Before she knew it, she was mauled. She attempted to stop the bleeding with pressure. Her body didn’t like that. She tried vainly to stop the bleeding until Jinenji found her. She begged him to help her but swore him to silence, something horrible would happen if he told anyone, especially Inuyasha. Jinenji, ever the sweet heart he was agreed. The poultice he made staunched the crimson tide. Then he offered to make her something that would blight the sense of smell of any yokai, specially Inuyasha. And Sesshomaru-sama if he ever returns. They tested the green powder that Jinenji made on Shippo and on Inuyasha. As a hanyou the powder lasted longer than she expected. For Shippo it lasted only a few days. She just hoped it would have the same effect on him.  
“Ready,” Rin whispered and slipped out the door. As she passed by Kagome’s hut, she poured the green powder into the dirt. She kicked it in with her feet, careful not to make too much noise. This would stop Inuyasha from smelling her departure and Sesshomaru-sama, should he decide to come once more. He always sent a letter via Aun letting her know when to expect him. She used to look forward to his short visits. Sesshomaru came almost every month, and each month he brought her something new, a Kimono, a bow for her hair, an ivory brush that she packed to come with her, sturdy shoes, winter clothes and blankets to keep her warm. The last time he came, things had changed completely, what he did left her feeling shocked and unnerved. It seemed ever since she turned fifteen something was set off between them. Every conversation turned into a battle. He was unnerved that she would not yield to him, she knew that much and she enjoyed watching him lose his composure. Her favorite memory was the time she was walking in the middle of the night to help deliver a child. Satsu, who became her best friend came running into Kaede’s hut. She lived on the outskirts of the village, which meant whenever visitors came with emergencies, their home was the first encountered. “A man just came to our home, he said his wife is in labor, and needs help!” The girl tripped on Jaken on her way in and would have landed on her face, instead she landed in Sesshomaru-sama’s lap.  
Rin covered her mouth trying not to laugh. Satsu looked up to golden eyes that dared her to remain in that uncomfortable position for longer than a moment. Jaken’s eyes were swirling recovering from the blow of her boots hitting his head. “Where is he from?” Kaede-sama asked from her bed. She had been sick that time.   
“A village ten miles away,” Satsu replied quickly moving herself out of the lap, her cheeks red.   
“I’ll go,” Rin stood up from the fire. “Let me just get some supplies, may I take Aun?” She turned to Sesshomaru-sama.  
Sesshomaru gazed at her, she hated when he looked at her like that, “I will accompany you.” He stood.  
“You don’t need to, it will be faster on Aun and men aren’t really supposed to come to births. I’ll be back in a while,” she rushed to the cabinets looking for the herbs for birth. There were ones to help with pain, ones to help with bleeding.  
He continued to the door while she ransacked the cupboards.  
“I said stay here,” Rin yelled at him, “I don’t need you, you’ll just be in the way.”  
“It’s nighttime,” Sesshomaru-sama’s voice responded.   
“And??” She raised an eyebrow at him, “I walk alone at night all the time, at least this time I have two headed dragon.” She finished packing, “come on Satsu.”  
“Rin, you stupid girl don’t argue with Sesshomaru-sama. There are night robbers, and villains and demons.”  
“And I still don’t need either one of you, I’m not a little girl anymore, stay here,” she ran out the door and down the stairs.   
“Rin!” Jaken screamed at her chasing her down the stairs. She jumped onto Aun’s back.   
Rin reached a hand out to help Satsu on. Satsu nervously got on and held onto Rin’s waist. “What Jaken-sama, human babies don’t wait for yokai Lords and their underlings to stop being so uselessly overprotective of their human wards to be born, I’m going!” She gave Aun a kick. The two heads glanced to an extremely pissed off looking dog demon then back at Rin, whose eyes were boring equal holes into them.  
“Rin, he doesn’t like the way you are dressed,” Jaken made it to Aun’s side.  
“What’s wrong with my clothes?” She was wearing a light kimono, so light it may have been almost see through, it was meant for sleeping. She was tired of her legs sweating in the summer, so she hemmed it up to her mid-thighs. “Kagome-sama’s skirts are shorter, what’s the problem?”   
“Rin,” oh there was his voice. It had been happening more frequently when he said her name that her heart would jump into her throat. “I will accompany you, or you will not go.”  
“You can stay here or I will take a horse which is much more dangerous in the middle of the night than riding a two headed dragon,” she folded her arms over her breasts, “and I don’t have time to change, if you don’t like it find something else for me to wear. Make yourself useful,” she glared at Jaken.   
Sesshomaru was by her side in a flash. His eyes said it all then. His frustration, his fury, “I will accompany you, Aun, go.”   
Satsu hid behind Rin’s shoulder avoiding the angry stares and unsaid words between the two of them. “You know someday, you’re going to have to accept that I am not a little girl anymore, what about when I get married? What if I want to have children?”  
He practically choked at those words. “This Sesshomaru will approve of any potential match.”  
“This Rin will choose on her own thank you. What are you going to do then? Kill off every would be suitor?” He continued soaring next to them.  
“I think you’re making him mad,” Satsu squeaked.  
“So?” Rin shot back at her, “Sesshomaru would never hurt me.” That was worth the next look she got. “I mean Sesshomaru-sama of course. Come on, we have to hurry Aun,” she gave him a firm kick to fly faster towards the village the man said he lived in. “Besides I don’t plan on staying in the village, what if I decide to leave?” She loved bringing that one up.   
“You will inform this Sesshomaru first,” he grunted at her.   
“And if I don’t”   
“I will find you,” he said simply.  
“And if I don’t want you to?”  
“You think to stop me?”   
“You’re making him mad,” Satsu continued cringing.   
“I think it’s time you let me go, go back to Kaede’s hut, I’ll be back soon,” she insisted.   
“You will change into something more modest,” he intoned firmly. She hadn’t noticed a kimono draped over his wrist.   
“This is fine.”  
“You’re showing your…” he stopped short of saying that her breasts were visible through the sheen material.   
“Then don’t look,” she folded her hands over herself, “besides this is going to get ruined when the baby comes. I’ll change then.”  
“Before.”  
“After.”  
He was practically fuming and Rin was reveling in her power over him, “it’s not like any of the men there haven’t seen breasts before.”   
That completely unhinged him, he flew behind her. “I can’t believe you said that,” Satsu said against Rin’s back.  
“Hurry Aun,” she urge them.  
“You could just go back, I told you birthing babies isn’t a place for me,” she said.  
When she noticed he made no move to return, Rin let out a frustrated scream and reconciled herself to his presence. She had at least unnerved him once.

His damn sense of smell, Rin sneered she had to be ready, she didn’t need his help, and he would not let her leave if he knew where she was going. That was if he would even bother coming back. Shaking her head, Rin walked away from Kagome’s hut and towards the barn. Kohaku and Sango taught her to walk so lightly her footfalls made no more noise than a feather gracing the ground. Time was running short. She only had three days now to make the journey or Kohaku would die.   
Rin opened the doors to the barn quietly shouldering her heavy bag. She walked towards her tall brown-mare. Another gift from Sesshomaru-sama. She told him how much she missed Aun. Aun he could not part with. He arrived on foot for her sixteenth birthday with this mare. He told her that the mare was meant to help keep her safe and make her trips less taxing on her body.   
She took the rest of the powder from the first pouch and rubbed it over her horse's feet and gently sprinkled it on her fur. She came with a simple smooth leather bridle and brown riding saddle, with large saddle bags. “Mesuiguru,” she named her. Mesuiguru had golden eyes that seemed to take everything in. Rin saddled her in silence quieting her with clicks and a fresh carrot, “quiet, Mesuiguru,” she whispered praying that Inuyasha would not hear her. If only she could have concocted something for those sharp ears that seemed to hear everything.   
Rin took Mesuiguru from the barn. She walked with her in the dark for a half mile down the dirt road that lead from the village before she quietly mounted the horse and whispered, “let’s go.” She gave a gentle kick and they were walking slowly from the village. It wasn’t strange to hear the sounds of horses in the middle of the night, she was sure if Inuyasha heard it he would sleep through it.   
“I’m sorry,” Rin whispered in her heart, “I’m sorry everyone,” she spurred her horse onward. She took one last look over her shoulder, saying goodbye to the simple huts with stones lining the roof, to the dirty ground and then focused on the horizon. The sun would be coming soon, she had three days and if she didn’t make it in time, Kohaku would perish. Her only comfort was that it was the middle of the summer and she didn’t need to bring more with her.


	2. Memories

**_Two Days Later_ **

 

            “Jaken!” Sesshomaru roared. He was sitting on a large boulder in a field near a human village. His aversion to them gradually dissipated as Rin aged. They still invaded his sensitive nose with smells he would rather avoid, like smelly sweaty old men, and dirty children. Then there was also the smell of human food, but they weren’t completely useless. Over time it had become his habit to bring a gift whenever her visited Rin. It started when she was a child to assuage her nerves and his guilt, when he left and to see her smile. She stopped smiling in the first months after he left her in the village. Her visage was replaced with silence, annoyed huffs and rolling eyes. At times she smelled of salt, and her cheeks were red. He was sure she learned the latter from Inuyasha.

            The little urchin came running holding his staff Nintojo in his hand. His feet pattered annoyingly, “Yes, Sesshomaru-sama.”

            Sesshomaru strode past him, “we go.” Sesshomaru nearly crushed Jaken with his heel. He expected that Jaken had prepared everything, he needed to see Rin. He used anger to cover how he really felt. When he had seen the fear in her eyes last he saw her it shook him. She had never been afraid of him before. It needed addressing. Gone was the girl that had taken that first hug he gave her as an invitation to jump either into his legs or in his arms when he came to visit. He would shake her off in annoyance for show, but his heart lightened each time and he was reminded, he could feel more than the nothing that was there. She smiled less, and her worries seemed more as she aged. She smelled of Yokai blood and refused to explain it to him. Rin spoke less, and spent more time with humans, he was sure she had made her decision. That night though, when the luminescent full moon hung low in the sky, he wasn’t sure what her choice was. They had all but avoided the topic of her rejoining him, over and over. She had asked over the years, starting when she was twelve to return to his side. He refused her over and over. Kaede adjured him, humanity was where she belonged. Half the time she was happy the other half they were at each other’s throats. 

            The horse was his peace offering for an argument they had the month before her birthday. Rin wanted to leave the village to see the world she said, to travel like she had with him. She saw more of the world since he found her than most did in their lives but after nearly losing her in hell and to Naraku, he knew that he could no longer keep her safe. It was for his benefit that he had kept her. That smile, it had melted the stone that pulsated life in his breast, it sent warm blood coursing through his veins. When Kohaku told him Rin wasn’t breathing, and his mother told him Tensaiga could not revive her again, he thought he would die. He Sesshomaru-Sama, felt what humans called tears burn in his eyes. Tears, he didn’t even know he had and would not allow to flood his eyes, “nothing could be worth her life.” The words echoed in his mind. She was not safe in his world. She was restless though, trapped in the confines of the village. They spent the morning that day in pleasant conversation. “Did you know Kagome-sama is having another baby?”

            “No,” he answered quietly as they walked along the trees. They had children quickly after her return. The first coming eight months after, and another a year and a half later.

            “It’s supposed to come in a few months, well maybe, it depends on how strong the yoki is, Taisho, their dark haired boy, he’s still not showing any signs of having any yoki. Do you think he does?”

            “Weakly perhaps,” his sentences were still clipped and short.

            Jaken followed along behind them grumbling about Rin asking so many questions and wasting Sesshomaru’s time. “I’m to deliver the baby again,” she said as he picked at a flower. There was something about her scent that day, she didn’t sound happy about delivering a child. Yet he knew that was the purpose, her purpose as a human female. “Do you have children Sesshomaru-sama?”

            “No,” he answered.

            “Do you want children?”

            “One day perhaps.”

            “He will have fine children,” Jaken boasted.

            “Are you seeing someone?” She asked curiously.

            “Seeing someone?” He didn’t understand the meaning of that. At some point he had been forced to listen to a lecture from Kaede-sama discussing something called courting so he would understand when Rin began a relationship with someone.

            “Isn’t there anyone you like?”

            “Like?” He was thoroughly confused.

            “Ugh! You’re impossible, I know you know what I’m talking about! I mean if you had children wouldn’t you get married first? So you would have to like someone, isn’t there some female inu yokai out there for you?”

            “Of course,” Jaken replied for him.

            Rin’s face blanched at those words. 

“I’m thinking about leaving the village,” and then the pleasant conversation quickly digressed as they always seemed to.

            She said that often, he chose not to answer.

            “I mean it this time,” she prodded him. She was sitting on the fence that led to the herb garden. The sun was setting. “I want to go into the world Sesshomaru-sama, there isn’t much left for me to learn here.” There was something more to those words he wasn’t picking up on.

            “No.” He answered curtly. There were too many that would use her as a weapon against him, he had hoped that his enemies would have forgotten but without fail they still came for her in vain attempts to cause him harm. Either he dispatched the demons that teemed towards the village himself, or Inuyasha and his group did. The ogres in the area knew of her, other dai-yokai also knew. Word of her existence spread faster than he had hoped. Parting company was not so simple. He had tried it once in the past, ceasing his visits for a year, all it did was cause more attacks on the village and damage his relationship with Rin.

            “No?” She countered, and that sweet innocence flew from her face. Her eyes were full of fire and her lips were pressed firmly together. “You said when I was old enough I could decide, I’ve decided.”

            “No,” Jaken folded his arms into his brown Kimono, “do not question Sesshomaru-sama.”

            “Shut up you ugly little urchin,” Rin snapped, he had heard them call each other names before. This time as Rin lashed out at Jaken, Sesshomaru was equally entertained and appalled. Rin booted Jaken in the head and grabbed Nintojo, before Sesshomaru could stop her, she activated the male head aiming it straight for himself. He dodged it easily and in instant was only inches from her face ripping Nintojo from her arm and throwing it at Jaken. He picked Rin up by the neck, as carefully as he could until she was on her tiptoes.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore…in fact you hardly tell me anything!” Her eyes blazed red, there was a wetness by her eyes. Was she going to cry? She held on to his wrist and tried kicking at him. When she knew that wouldn’t work, she did something he hadn’t expected. She ran up his flexed knee then pushed off him, flipping backwards and landed on her feet out of his grasp. His eyes widened, _where did she learn to do that?_

“Rin,” Sesshomaru’s voice was deep and coarse, “you will not do that again.” Something was heating Sesshomaru’s heart, there was an angry lump in his throat. He attempted to walk towards her only for her to back up.

“If I choose to leave you can’t stop me.” Rin refused to acknowledge what he had said.

“Rin…” He cautioned her again feeling his face burn, “you will not leave and if you try I will find you and bring you back.”

Rin’s eyes rolled in her head. She folded her arms as she walked away. If not for his keen hearing he would have missed what flared under her breath, “I’ll leave if I feel like it Sesshomaru…”

Sesshomaru…Sesshomaru…how dare she not refer to him with the proper respect. Jaken’s mouth was practically on the ground. They were both dumbfounded. Lost in shock he didn’t notice that someone had snuck behind him and was sitting where Rin had just moments before. “Keh, get used to it Sesshomaru.”

Sesshomaru regarded his half-brother hanyou no more than he would regard a flea. “Jaken, we leave.” Sesshomaru walked away.

“Hey, Sesshomaru, welcome to life with teenagers!” Inuyasha’s voice trailed behind him. Sesshomaru did not say goodbye then, he simply left. He did not spend the night as he had in times before. Was it hurt he felt, worry? Would she really leave without telling him? The one thing he did do, was breathe deeply the air that hovered around her before she stalked away, he took in her scent, the smell of the forest, the river and the blood of Yokai. He would know how to find her should she leave.

“Sesshomaru-sama, this Jaken cannot believe her disrespect…firing Nintojo right at you!”

This time Sesshomaru booted Jaken. “Shut-up.” He snarled, was she really able to make him this angry? _Where did she learn to use Nintojo? The monk, he must have been teaching her to tap into her spiritual powers._

 

“I hope Rin-chan is in a better mood this time.” Jaken prattled as they flew towards Kaede-baba’s hut. “She was happy with the new horse Sesshomaru-sama brought her last time, but she was still difficult in words. Something has changed,” as the words left Jaken’s mouth, Sesshomaru gave him a sharp shake to close his mouth. Something did change, that was why he was returning. Jaken ran immediately into the hut to announce Sesshomaru’s arrival.

Rin was missing, she always greeted him. Something felt off immediately. The air was thick with strain and stress. The ground smelled of something foul, he found the faintest scent of human and Yokai blood in the air. Fear wafted from Kaede’s hut. He strode through the door. They were all there, the Taijia named Sango, the monk, Inuyasha and his Miko, and they looked at him as if ready to flee his presence. “Where is Rin?” He let his nose explore the scents in the village, hers was already getting stale, like the taste of water that had been left in the sun for too long.

They clambered to speak, each tripping over the other like a bunch of field mice trying to find their way. “She went to a friend’s house,” the monk said, Sesshomaru knew that was a lie. After the death of her friend Satsu, Rin had not made many friends.

“She’s in another village,” Inuyasha folded his arms defensively.

“She’s with Kohaku,” Sango flushed.

“Enough!” Kaede raised her hand and her voice. She sat on the floor next to her table, legs crossed with a cup of hot tea. In front of her was a letter he could barely make out the words and next to that, another letter rolled into a small scroll and ties with rose colored ribbon.

What was that feeling? His heart hurt for a moment, but before he could examine the feeling in chest further Kaede passed a letter into his hand. “Rin-chan left this for you Sesshomaru-sama.”

He immediately passed it to Jaken. Jaken opened it and began reading with a smile on his face. “Dear Sesshomaru-sama, I hope you are doing well. Thank you for Mesuiguru, she flies so easily when I ride her. I have left the vi…” Jaken’s voice trailed off in disbelief.

Sesshomaru snatched the letter so hard that Jaken was thrown across the room.

_I left the village. I told you I wanted to see the world. Don’t come look for me. I think we both know it’s better if we don’t see each other again. Thank you for everything you did for me throughout my life. Good-bye._ He read the letter a second time, then a third. She had threatened for years, he threatened back, she finally did it. A sensation crawled into his skin. It started deep within his belly then reverberated up his spine into his throat. _Fear? Concern? Panic?_ He tried to name the sensation batting into his brain, surely it wasn’t the latter. Something in the room smelled off, they all seemed concerned. His throat vibrated with a low growl, his eyes turned red. His body flew towards his hanyou dirty brother. Inuyasha was off the ground in instant and gasping for air. “Which way did she go?”

“Let go before I cut off the new one!” Inuyasha kicked Sesshomaru in the face, flipped over and landed on his feet drawing Tetsusaiga. Sesshomaru saw that move before, more thoughts were coming into his mind, more answers to questions he had, “you’ve been teaching her to fight?”

“Yes, for the last five years, good job picking up on it,” he glared at Sesshomaru, “she didn’t want you to know. She knew you would act like this.”

Sesshomaru bled dokkasu from his nails in response, frustration rising in his mind. _Why didn’t she ask this Sesshomaru? How well prepared for battle could she be, trained by this pathetic lot?_

Inuyasha dodged the poison. It turned the wall of the hut to sludge.

 “I warned you, if any harm came to her, your life would be forfeit and so would your Miko’s and children.”

“Touch my children and you’ll lose more than your arm.” Inuyasha was just as angry now. He had three to protect. He raised Tetsusaiga in the air, “meido z-!”

“Stop it now, oswari!” Kagome screamed. Inuyasha hit the ground. “Gomene O-ni-Sama, I know you are upset. She left two days ago in the middle of the night and took Mesuiguru with her. She covered her tracks well, we were unable to follow her, she used something to mask her scent, we don’t know what.”

“Leave it to a hanyou to not be able to do something as simple as tracking.”

Sesshomaru left the hut and turned towards the outdoors. He inhaled deeply, clenching his claws, he had warned her to not leave. She didn’t listen, she was seventeen, she was too young, too vulnerably to be by herself. Or was she?

Before he could leave, he heard the heavy footfalls and low noises of the scarred hanyou that had taken up residence their years before. Jinenji approached Sesshomaru cautiously. Sesshomaru thought back to the first time he had seen him. It was during the first visit back to the village after he had parted with Rin.

 

Summer was ending when he left Rin in the village. He had noticed how her bony knees were peeking out of her orange patched kimono. On this visit he brought her a royal purple and lavender one with ivory butterflies and a simple red sash to match it. Jaken carried two extra boxes that contained a thicker coat for winter, boots and socks to keep her feet warm as the weather began to change. Humans were such fragile creatures, cold was treacherous to their systems. He brought a bag of coins with him for Kaede. Night robbers made such wonderful targets to obtain what he needed. In this way he ensured that Rin’s hut would be dry and warm going into the harsh winter months. When he came she was knee deep with the Taijia and with the scarred Hanyou. She saw the flash of light as he landed next to the fence, she ran to him screaming, “Sesshomaru-sama you came!” Before he could stop her, she was glued to his leg. Her tiny fingers twisted between one leg and clung to the back of is knee. She had never dared to touch him like that before. It did something unexpected to his chest, it filled with warmth. He gently shook her off and gave her the box.

She squealed in delight, opening it and yelled, “Jinenji-san! Kagome-sama! Look what Sesshomaru-sama brought me. Will you stay for dinner?” She begged him, her voice was so full of hope. He followed her silently as she led him to their hut. It was not in his way to fill the world with words that were unneeded. He smelled boar roasting on the spit of their hearth.

Kaede leaned over a nearing pot and stirred it, “I knew you were coming Sesshomaru-sama, Aun came right on time. I have been teaching Rin to write her own letters. Soon she will be able to send one herself to you.” A sweet smell floated across the room, Sesshomaru’s mouth watered slightly. Kaede smiled, “wild boar, I left one raw for you, if you were to stay. Rin-chan has been waiting, she told me it was your favorite. Rin tend to the fire I need to speak to Sesshomaru-sama for a moment.”

            Sesshomaru’s chest filled with _pride?_ He wondered, was that the feeling? Did she know him so well at this age? He never ate in front of her as a child, knowing that it would disturb her to see him sinking his teeth into something raw, or to drink the blood of his prey. He followed Kaede out of the hut as she walked into the forest towards the bone eaters well. “She is slowly becoming happy, she still cries at night. Sesshomaru-sama. She does not sleep at night, I am worried, she has been here for a month already, and barely sleeps. The next day she cries and refuses to be comforted.”

            “I see,” he answered, his face did not betray the emotions that were welling in his chest, _she does not feel safe here._ He had not considered that she would no longer feel safe with his absence.

            “Did she do the same with you?” Kaede was an interesting person to Sesshomaru. Perhaps the only person in the village he didn’t want to kill when they spoke. Her one eye was knowing, replete with wisdom. Her words were not empty, they often had meaning. Thus far, she was the only he could manage to carry a conversation with..

            “Only at first,” he turned back towards the hut. The bamboo door flap was pulled to the side. He could see Rin tending to the fire and churning the spit. She worked it meticulously with sweat running down her soft brow. _Work_ , he had not thought that part through either now that she was in a human village, Rin would no longer be the carefree girl that ran barefoot through the forest, she would be required to be of use to those around her. The thought sickened him, she was meant to play in the fields, laugh and giggle.

            Her nightmares he knew well. From the first moment she came to him she had them. He was sure it was the same one. It started with her scent changing from the pleasant aroma of dirt and flowers to something that stung his nose. Her body would shiver in her sleep, she cried out, over and over. Most nights she woke in a fit with Jaken yelling at her to be quiet until Sesshomaru shut him up. When the panic would not leave her, he was forced to rely on human means of comfort, a hand on her shoulder. Sitting close to her while she slept. Once he even wrapped her in his mokomoko. After that he regretted it, if he happened to rest and not wander in the night hours she would find her way to the fluff and he found it difficult to say no to her.

            “Did she ever tell you what the dream was?” When he did not answer her she continued, “sometimes, like a bird that has been caged for many years and released into the wind to spread its wings, a child should be encouraged to speak of a dream that never stops. She needs to know she is safe here, that you trust us, _all of us.”_

“Trust,” he responded, he knew what she meant. That he should trust the two hanyous here would not bring her to harm. He had already dealt with Inuyasha the day after he left with a simple threat, _ensure her safety or I will take your life._ His pathetic brother was in poor spirits because his Miko had not returned with him after Naraku’s defeat.

He stalked back to the hut and called, “Rin, come with me.” Perhaps it was time to confront this dream. Her scent changed as she followed him.

            Rin followed nervously. “Did Kaede-sama said I did something bad? I try to do what she says. I went into the forest alone and a yokai came for me, but Inuyasha-sama came and it was gone quickly. I promised to never do it again, are you mad at me? I haven’t done it again after she used the cane.”

            “Foolish girl,” he stopped, when he knew they were alone. His stomach churned lightly, it was the way of humans to force obedience instead of demand it, expect it, the way he did. Had she really become so difficult? The sun was setting, the air was filled with the smell of meats, vegetables and milk. He didn’t like the smell of human food cooking. Sunset was always peaceful in this place. The clouds puffed into purple and pink balls, the sky changed seamlessly from gold, to purple then pink. “Kaede said you are not sleeping?”

            Rin nodded, “hai,” her voice was dejected. She kneeled down to play with some flowers nearby. She pushed the stems back and forth, avoiding his eyes.

            “Rin, the dream, tell me of the dream.” He commanded.

            “I can’t,” she whispered shaking her head. He smelled fear wash over her, pain, and tears. The mere mention of the dream broke her. He could not get used to the sound of her cry. He understood that children cried when they were scared, sad or hurt, but the sound shook his heart. It’s why he attacked the monk in the forest when a demon had lured her away. He couldn’t stand the sound of her screams, he was sure given the chance she would have stayed with the humans. When she called his name and begged for him to come, he couldn’t stop himself. She was his.

            “Rin, I am not asking,” he repeated himself sternly.

            She shook her head. She had never been scared of him, ever. If she understood who he was, she would be, yet she had seen him at his best and almost at his worst, yet here the eight year old child remained, unafraid of the harshness in his voice.

            He went from his heart being pulled for her sadness to frustration. He wouldn’t be able to wrangle the answer out of her, even if he wanted to. He sighed, words, he did not use many, he would have to, in order that she would talk. “Rin, even I fear at times.”

            She turned to him in shock, eyes wide, the tears stopped, “of what Sesshomaru-sama. Sesshomaru-sama is never scared.” She ran to his side.

            “The day you were taken by the Band of Seven do you remember it? I heard the blade through the mist, but I could not get to you in time and when Magatsuhi possessed you,” he sat down next to Rin and motioned for her to sit as well. She plopped down Indian style in front of him.

            “You were scared for Rin?” She had taken to talking in the third person, something else she learned from him.

            “Yes,” he answered softly.

            “But you weren’t scared of that man or that spirit?”

            “I fear no one.”

            “I do,” she licked her lips nervously, and took a deep shuddering breath, “Sesshomaru-sama, when I sleep,” she was swallowing hard, and her body began shaking worse than he had ever seen it. The smell of fear went from barely being noticeable to penetrating deep within his mind, “they killed my family. Thieves, they took my mother, she screamed and told me to hide. I heard her cry over and over while I hid in the barn, she kept screaming stop, let me die, and then she was quiet. My brother told me, he would be brave, he took a pitchfork, but then he was gone, and my father, they took him. I couldn’t breathe. I was so scared my heart stopped, the world was black and when I awoke they were gone. I had no family in other villages. No one who cared for me…no one until,” she looked up at him shuddering and stuttering through her tears. “Why did momma scream stop, stop over and over Sesshomaru-Sama?” She held her knees and her little body shook.

            _Me, she was alone until she found me._ He thought to himself. “Rin,” he put a hand on her shaking back, “you must trust that if this Sesshomaru-sama left you here, you are safe, when you wake scared in the night, you must remember that my strength is your strength.” He untied his yellow obi, the one had always worn, letting his swords fall to the side. He placed it in her hands. He held the obi and her fingers in his folded fingers, feeling their delicacy, “my strength is your strength.” And it truly was if she only knew. He would never have mastered Bakusaiga or Tenseiga without her company. She taught him compassion and warmth. He was no longer repulsed by the thing humans called touch. In the past he would have never let her hug him.

 She used his obi to wipe her tears and together they walked back to the hut. She did not ask him, but he remained that night. When he heard her tossing in her sleep he sat down next to her thrashing body, looped his tail around her and pulled her near. “My strength is your strength,” he muttered in her ear. She held tight to his obi with sweat running down her brow. Leaving in the morning would be one harder than slaying a ten-thousand demons. Before he left he melted the cane in the corner of Kaede’s hut with his toxic claws and warned her against ever using another on Rin again. After that visit it became routine that he would come once a month, near evening and stay the night leaving the next day.

 

As he walked for the door, Jinenji approached him, “here Sesshomaru-sama, you may need this.” He held a small brown package in his hand. Sesshomaru ignored him.

“Where is Kohaku?” He told himself he cared not for the boy that was now a man. Kohaku was in his twenties, an accomplished slayer. At times they had crossed paths, but not since that night, not since the full moon almost a year before.

“Hey, Sesshomaru?” Inuyasha motioned him outside with a jerk of his head. They walked in silence towards Inuyasha’s forest. When they reached goshinboku they stopped. Inuyasha stood defensively, with his arms crossed and a hardened look on his face, “you haven’t been back in a year…did you think you could do that and not have this happen?”

Sesshomaru did not respond he turned to walk away.

“Oi! Sesshomaru! You ruined her relationship with Kohaku! Baka!” Sesshomaru continued on, ignoring Inuyasha. Inuyasha leapt in front of him, “you don’t know how hard the last year has been on her. Don’t find her unless you plan on…well either letting her go or asking her to stay with you.”

Sesshomaru balled his fist and let it slam against Inuyasha’s cheek sending him flying. “Silence,” he snarled. He could feel her tickling the back of his mind. He raised his nose in the air, her scent was faint, stale, but deep underneath whatever that putrid smell was, it was there. He proceeded out of the village on foot. Jaken followed with A-Un. Sesshomaru, the great Sesshomaru was chasing after a child…but was she?


	3. Rin vs Sesshomaru

Rin had one more day, she drove Mesuiguru to exhaustion. Mesuiguru was lathered in white foam from sweat. Her hooves beat against the ground. Rin leaned low on her neck, urging her forward with firm clucks and heals to the sides. One more day, or Kohaku would die and it would be all her fault. Her stomach burned from the strain of constantly being upright. In the evening when Rin removed the bandages, invariably another one of the gashes was open. She need those things Kagome-sama knew of called stitches, or to at least to sit still and stop moving.

She spent the last two evening caring for Mesuiguru. She made sure she had enough to food eat and water to drink. She gathered twigs and leaves for the horse and made sure to fill her water skin for both her and the horse. It was tiring work, her body screamed at her to stop what she was doing, to rest and heal.

 Rin sighed with relief as she rode, for two days no one followed. The further she went towards the mountains, she knew that Sesshomaru-sama would be less likely to find her, if he came at all. He always seemed to turn up when she was most desperate. As the sun set on the horizon, Rin pulled her mare to a stop. She trotted on her back checking the forest for a safe place to rest. She found a thicket of bushes that would hide her from intrusive eyes. She tied Mesuiguru to a tree. She took out grains she had in one of her bags and fed her mare. She opened a water skin and let the thirsty horse drink. “Good girl, Mesu, one more day, we’ll get there. I’m sorry for driving you so hard.” She checked her side for her katana and her other hip for her knife.

When Mesuiguru was cared for, Rin pulled down another bag. It had her poultices and bandages from Jinenji inside. She sat down painfully onto the forest floor bracing herself and wincing. “I can do this,” she encouraged herself. She unwrapped opened her haori, sliding her obi up just below her breasts while she did. “Oh, this hurts,” she whispered while she unwrapped the dirty bandages. She would have to burn them as she had the night before to ensure that her scent was not left behind. She put them inside of a cloth with the green powder. She took clean water and rubbed it along the open wounds. She cleaned the leaking blood and placed the poultices back on her stomach and removed fresh bandages. She wrapped her stomach tightly, already feeling relief from the herbs Jinenji had given her. The herbs were hot and cold all at once and smelled of peppermint. They froze her skin and made her wince, but she knew they were working. They would work better if she could stop moving but she couldn’t.

Next she searched the nearing area for dried leaves and twigs to start a fire. She made it low so as not to draw attention to herself. Rin settled next to the fire she had made and slowly removed her katana from its sheathe. _Another gift from Sesshomaru-sama._ But who had told him she was learning to fight? Maybe no one did, maybe he figured it out on his own. To this day she had never seen a stronger nor smarter Yokai. The only one she knew who had ever bested Sesshomaru-sama in battle was Inuyasha, but that was long before he had Bakusaiga. She knew now in a real fight who would win. At first, she hated Inuyasha but it was he who taught her to use the sword. It was long and gleamed yellow in the sun. The handle was made of gold in the shape of a dog with rubies for eyes. At times Rin thought the dog looked like Sesshomaru when he showed his true form. The weight was light making it easy to swing. The blade was white and shaped like a long fang. She had her suspicions about that, but she had never been able to do more with it than fight as if it were a normal sword. The sword had already killed twenty demons and five ogres. She regularly stood side by side with Kohaku in other villages and defended her own. Kaede-sama never cared when she left the village with everyone else, why would Sesshomaru-sama?

Once her bandages were replaced Rin fixed her haori. She pulled it back down just as the sun finished its journey to the horizon. She lay down trying not to tense her muscles as she did. Her stomach still burned. She let her hands rest on the ground, she drew circles in the dirt and leaves. _I wonder if he will come back,_ she thought. It was too hot for a blanket, even as she was Rin was sweating from the summer heat. She made a mental note if she survived that she should return to the lake she saw several miles to the east and swim. She wished she were home in her own pallet trying to ignore Kaede’s snores. She closed her eyes and did her best to allow her body sleep.

 

Something…Kohaku had called it instinct, told Rin she wasn’t alone. She heard nothing, she saw nothing. She let her ears reach out to the darkness, unsure of how long she slept. She glanced at Mesuiguru for a sign. The horse lazily chewed at her bit. _Yokai,_ her eyes shot open. Rin quickly grabbed one of her pouches of powder and threw it into the fire with one hand, while grabbing a mask that covered her eyes, nose and mouth with another. She heard an angry snarl, and was on her feet before she realized, sword drawn she lunged at what flew towards her. It was fast, angry, and clawed.

 

Sesshomaru saw Rin through the trees. He thought it best to wait to make his presence known until she was asleep. He watched as she lay down on the dirt, curious with what his nose and eyes were telling him. Somewhere he could faintly smell traces of her blood. He had learned to ignore the smell when it was faint. She was tense as she leaned to the side, her face contorted. He kept his yoki inward, and his steps light, she would have no clue he was there.

She had covered her tracks well and her scent. He followed the foul scent in the mud until it gave way to hers. So, she was using herbs now too? Perhaps her anger would be less, if she thought she had made a brave escape. He left Aun back knowing the harsh steps of the two-headed dragon would have alerted her. As her eyes shut he decided to stand watch for a time. Whatever she was in a rush too, she was exhausted.

After several hours, he decided to make his move. She was faster than even he could remember, and instantly he we was covered in green smoke, his eyes seared for a moment, and the smoke flew through his nose and into his lungs. “Damn,” he cursed, when he opened his eyes again he relied on instinct where he had seen Rin and lunged for her. He blinked his eyes over and over shocked that he had succumbed to a human poison. Everything was white, he could make out shadows but nothing more, the mist was suffocating. He attempted to find her using his scent to smell nothing but the putrid smell he had been following. In the second that disoriented him he felt the blade of a sword hit his neck, had he been a mere human that would have been his end. His hand came up and slapped it away. Why was she fighting him? He couldn’t see her but he was sure that she recognized him.

He allowed his anger to overtake him, to bury him. His eyes surged red. He growled and snarled fiercely. The tint made it possible for him to make out only a few more shadows. The warning growls did not stop Rin. She leapt away from him dodging one of his outstretched hands. He could sense her movements and hear them even if he couldn’t see them. He flew to her attempting to grab what he thought was her wrist. She kicked at his hand, flipped over his head and landed on the other side of him. He felt something sharp slip across his wrist. _Fine then,_ he thought, _let her have her fight._

He heard her steps going towards the clucking sound of the horse. He held out his hand and sprayed the mare with Dokkasu. The shrieks of the horse’s pain filled the air. Rin came at him again, sword in hand. He removed Tenseiga, and parried her every strike. She lunged, he blocked, she swung, he ducked, her skills were formidable.

She fought him smartly, and deftly. Even blind he could keep up with her, her labored breathing betrayed her location. Her movements were smoother and more calculated than he expected. He grabbed her around the waist attempting to restrain her hands. She dropped something into one of her hands, he felt it slide into his skin again. She flipped slashing at his face, the knife made it within millimeters of his face. Slapped her down onto the ground. She landed with a painful thud.

Rin was on her feet within seconds ready to take on the intruder when he heard her say his name, “Sesshomaru-sama, I told you not to follow me!” She screamed at him. “I told you!” Rin bolted for the forest away from him. Her steps were light but not light enough. She dodged trees and branches, leaping over roots towards her goal. She couldn’t outrun him. He caught her quickly.

Sesshomaru was growing tired of fighting and chasing her, his eyes flared red again. He gathered his yoki, raging like a red tornado. He released the cloud forcefully smashing everything around them. The force he knew would knock into Rin, but what he heard escape from her lips drove his heart into feet. Her scream shattered the night, and then she was quiet. “Rin?” He inquired, he heard no response. Angered he rubbed his eyes, it was still white and only shadows. How had she made something that could blind even the great Sesshomaru?

He breathed deeply through his nose and could only smell, leaves and herbs. Had the mist she threw into the fire done this too? _She deadened my sense of smell,_ _smart child_ , he thought, she knew if he came for her he would use his sense of smell and his sight. He scrubbed at his eyes again trying to get the poison out.

He closed his eyes and reached out with his ears. He heard her labored breathing off the side of him. He walked towards her stiffly thoroughly annoyed that he couldn’t see or smell. He stepped carefully fearful that he would land on her. His next footfalls he felt something soft and warm against his foot. He crouched down, searching for her head. He used one hand to lift her face up. As his hand cradled her back, he felt thick moisture through her clothes. He didn’t need eyes to see or his nose to smell, that she was covered in blood. He only needed his heart to break, knowing this is what he had done to her. “Jaken!” He yelled. There was no sense in Sesshomaru fumbling in the dark to get to Aun. “You’re injured, Rin wake up,” he gave her a stiff shake.

Jaken came running ready to wield Nintojo with Aun following close behind him. Jaken fell to the ground, “Yes, Sesshomaru-sama!”

“Rin is hurt,” he refused, _I hurt her._ “Check her wounds,” he instructed the imp.

Sesshomaru set her down. He heard Jaken’s scuttling steps. He could sense the imps yoki next to his own. Sesshomaru refused to admit that the poison she had thrown into the fire had taken both his sight and smell. Especially not to Jaken. There were always Yokai in the forest and he had many enemies, they need not know that a human had rendered him blind.

Jaken moved forward nervously. He could tell something seemed off about Sesshomaru. He bent over Rin. He opened Rin’s shirt and whistled to himself softly. “Sesshomaru-sama, she has an old injury on her stomach.” Jaken startled himself, “even I could not smell it,” he smiled proudly, “there is a green powder within the bandage.”

“Do not inhale it, do not allow it near your nose.” _It wasn’t me,_ he heaved a sigh of relief. 

Jaken complied and completely removed the bandage. Jaken’s hands shook, he made like he hated the girl but he really loved her. He knew immediately what was on her stomach, “a bear demon claw mark Sesshomaru-sama. She is injured badly. It looks like it has been tended but it’s opened many times.”

“Let me go, please,” Rin couldn’t move, it was like her body was made of lead, her limbs refused to obey her command, “please, I must go.” She begged. She tried to force herself off the ground. The wind had ran directly into her stomach. She saw his eyes the moment before. The last time she had seen him use air was when he was facing off with the Monk Ungai. When it hit her, she felt the claw marks open what little they had closed. It flung her feet from where she had been standing. She curled into a ball, “please Sesshomaru-sama let me go.”

Sesshomaru was by her side in an instant, like she was a small child again, he placed his hand on her face. He blinked again hoping to get the ridiculous poison out of his eyes, “Rin…what happened?” He stroked the hair from her eyes.

Rin shook her head vehemently.

He steadily stroked her cheek, “Rin?” His voice carried a tone she hadn’t heard in a long time. _Tender,_ she told herself it was tender.

“The powder will wear off in a few days,” she tried to breathe through the pain of her stomach.

“Days? Powder?” Jaken looked at Sesshomaru who dared him to speak even one word. “Rin what did you to Sesshomaru-sama?”

“Let me go,” she said weakly, her belly was on fire, she knew as soon as the blast hit her that the wounds were ripped back open. It was like being lit on fire and flung into a tree. She touched her belly, her eyes widened, she was bleeding worse than she had been before. “My stomach…I…I have bandages.”

“Rin,” the way he said her name made her hair stand on edge, “when did you fight a Kuma-yokai?”

She shook her head, his hand felt it. “Please, Sesshomaru-sama, you have to let me go. I’ll be fine.”

“Rin,” Sesshomaru persisted, “this Sesshomaru-sama does not like being lied to.”

 

“This Rin,” Rin started and then flinched when she felt his hand around her neck laying pressure into her windpipe. It was so slight she could hardly feel it. The threat was implied but his heart was not in it. “I can’t tell you.” She was trying to grab his hand but her arms were still numb. “I need to stop the bleeding.” She kept trying to distract him, _please, just let me go._ She begged in her thoughts.

“Rin, when did you fight the kuma demon?” Sesshomaru was beginning to glow with anger. “I told you not to leave Kaede.”

Rin finally found an ounce of strength and pushed herself to sitting. She braced her stomach in one hand, putting pressure on the cut that was bleeding the most, “I told you, you didn’t have the right to tell me what to do anymore.” His hand was back on her throat, and she heard a familiar howl. If he were facing an enemy she would be dead on the ground, her throat snapped in two.

“Rin, you are angering Sesshomaru-sama.” Jaken fumed at her waiving his hands in the air, “why would you do something so awful?” His little hands gripped Nintojo, if it were anyone else he would have roasted them.

Rin’s arms were finally working and she attempted to move Sesshomaru’s hand from her throat, it was like trying to move a mountain. She pushed on his wrist. Her eyes fell to his stripes, she let her finger slowly run the length of both of them. Jaken didn’t see it but Rin did, Sesshomaru’s breath caught in his mouth. Her heart beat faster, she felt it skipping, she touched the stripes on his hand again, “why did you kill Mesuiguru? She had my poultices. Let go of my neck, please.”

“Rin I grow tired of this game.” He had felt her fingers caressing his skin. He set the hair on his neck on end. He refused to let go of her neck. If it wouldn’t have hurt her he would have stood up and given her a good shake. “Where are you going?” He tried a new tactic.

She shook her head again. He felt wetness on his hand, proof that he was making her cry, something he also didn’t like. He tightened his grip lightly.

She gasped feeling his claws in the back of her neck, “since when did you raise a hand to me?” He released her.

The momentum made her thud against the ground again. “Ouch,” she cried holding her stomach, “I hate you…”

Sesshomaru took several steps back and Rin watched Jaken roll on the floor, “such disrespect!” Jaken cried, “after all Sesshomaru-sama has done for you, this is how you repay him with lies and deceit!”

“Tell me who attacked you!” Sesshomaru yelled at her.

Rin tried to pull herself up again but the pain was too great. She felt dizzy and nauseated. Rin shook her head, “I can’t…” she finally began to cry in earnest as she lay down on the forest floor curled in a fetal position, staring at the leaves that were glistening in the moonlight, “oh Kohaku…I’m so sorry.” The moon disappeared, Rin fought to remain conscious, her hands tried to put pressure on the wound on her stomach. “I can’t breathe,” she sobbed, “it’s all my fault.” The pain mounted, the dirt soaked up her blood. The world began to fade, she couldn’t make out Jaken flopping on the ground in disgust, all she could feel was Sesshomaru’s hand on her face.

            “Rin…Rin…” Sesshomaru kneeled down calling to her, he picked her head up once more, “Rin…wake up.” His heart stopped the last time he spoke those words she stopped breathing in hell, he thought he had lost her. “Jaken,” he called.

            Jaken bowed in reverence, “Jaken is here Sesshomaru-sama!”

            “Stay with Rin.” He stood up. He would go back to the Miko’s house that hanyou Jinenji had offered him something a pouch he had refused and now he knew what Jinenji meant when he said Sesshomaru might need it. It took him only a few steps to come to his senses. _Bear demon…if it comes back, Jaken will be unable to defeat it._ “Jaken, go to the Miko’s house and bring me this Jinenji.”

            “Hai, Sesshomaru-sama!” Jaken ran toward Aun before he felt a hand around his neck.

            “Leave Aun,” Sesshomaru demanded. He was sure he would need the damn dragon to keep him from tripping over his own two feet.

           

            As soon as Jaken was gone Sesshomaru sat down next to Rin. Again, he relied on those senses that hadn’t been affected. He felt for her stomach, his hand found her hip first. He let his hand rest on the warm skin long enough to feel a warmth building inside himself. He felt the parted fabric of her haori. His fingers found the top of the fabric of her shorts right below her navel. He resumed letting his fingers trail up her waist until the found the deep gashes in her stomach. He felt blood dripping over his fingers. _What strength she must have had to travel for days with an injury this severe._ He shook his head. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind he had felt like something was wrong, that Rin needed him. He found her shoulders, “Rin…” He lifted her again and shook her violently, “Rin, wake up now.”

            He heard her sigh, and mutter, “what?” She felt drunk, the world was spinning.

            He set her head on his upraised knee. His silver hair floated in the wind. He turned his wrist up and slashed into his veins with his other hand. Once he had been told by his father that this was a cure human injuries. His demonic blood contained properties that would enhance human healing. His life force dripped from the cut onto her stomach.  

             “Hold my wrist over your wound.” His annoyance with his eyesight not returning was rising.

            “Why?” Rin asked finding it hard to stay awake, her body begged to sleep. It was so dark outside. She could see concern in his golden eyes. She felt warm so close to him.

            “Just do it,” he barked. Her hand touched his, her hand was cold, smaller than his own and was gnarled and rough. It wasn’t the hand he expected, the hand he had let go of when he left her with Kaede. Seeing her fight the way she did was also unexpected. “You fought well,” he muttered, feeling he could give her at least that much.

            “You’re bleeding,” Rin whispered. She touched the gashes in his wrist. She traced the lines with her fingers. She tried to move closer to Sesshomaru, feeling chilled.

His body was warm against hers. She felt cold but couldn’t tell him.

            “It’s okay,” he told her,  he squeezed the injury to encourage more blood to come before the wound healed itself, “my blood will mix with yours, the wound will close faster. Rin,” he shook his head, her body still felt like it belonged to him, but his heart was heavy and pained. _Pain_ , “if you were in trouble, why didn’t you tell me? Why did you lie?”

            Rin winced as his blood fell on her stomach in the crevices where the skin had opened. It felt like fire, like burning poison burrowing its way deep into her flesh, “it hurts,” she held his wrist trying to push his hand away, “please stop.” She flinched, “why does it hurt?”

            “My blood is strong,” he touched her cheek with the backs of his fingers. He felt tears on his skin, “it will be over soon, Rin…” He no longer needed her hand to know where her injury was. He continued to clench and unclench his hand until he was sure the entire injury was permeated with his blood.

            “Please,” the pain was nearly unbearable, it was like someone was stoking a hot fire, “stop, please.”

            He pulled her head close to his chin, in the days after he thought he had lost her in Hell he learned about comfort. He learned that children yearned for closeness, and that his presence always calmed Rin. When she was scared she hid behind his legs and ducked down, when she had nightmares at night, he wrapped her in his tail while he sat nearby. The memory made him laugh, the first nightmare, she had with him happened the first night after she began following him. He sent Jaken to purchase her a new Kimono and bathe the disgusting smell of death from her skin. She pranced like a deer in springtime in her new orange and yellow patched Kimono and thanked Sesshomaru. The great Sesshomaru, those days he didn’t understand why he allowed a human to be with him.

            As they traveled through the night, he watched curiously as Rin’s body became limp. He stopped and walked over to her, then remembered, humans need sleep or else they will die. He continued on his way. Only hours later he heard her thrashing in her sleep, crying and sobbing. She woke up screaming so loudly that birds fled the nearing trees. She wouldn’t stop screaming, she fell from Aun’s back and ran to the base of a tree, holding her small knees, shrieking for her family. “Rin,” Jaken said, “stop that noise.”

            “No!” She shook, screaming and crying, refusing to stop. Jaken tried to talk sense into her. She would not be quieted.

            Sesshomaru walked towards her and knelt down on the ground. Her fear filled his nostrils, he took her chin in his curled index finger and raised her eyes to his, “you are scared. Why should you fear when you are with the great Sesshomaru-sama?”

            There it was again that smile, the one that reached her eyes, that made his heart feel lighter, the one that stopped him in his tracks. Her small hands rubbed the tears from her eyes, her face was still red. She hiccupped back more tears. “Sesshomaru-sama,” her arms were outstretched to him, “Please?”

            Jaken’s mouth was on the floor, he knew that motion, Sesshomaru was unsure what she meant by it. “No such thing, he would do no such thing!” Jaken raved.

            In that moment Sesshomaru understood what she wanted, he lifted her small body into his arm. She curled against his chest and whispered, “I’m cold.” He had forgotten how frail humans were, how the elements assaulted their bodies, how they needed food and sleep. He felt her heart beating next to his, the heart that Tenseiga had brought life to. The heart that he would do anything to keep beating.

 

            “Rin…” he had to know how to help her.

            “I can’t,” she whimpered. Sesshomaru could feel her pain, smell it washing over body as it shook in his arms. “I’m c…co…cold, Sesshomaru-sama,” she whimpered. Her body trembled.

            He wrapped his mokomoko around her shoulders, her brow was wet with sweat. “Are you not telling me, because of Kohaku?” He hadn’t forgotten what she said before she lost consciousness. The pieces of the puzzle were slowly connecting. A kuma demon had attacked her. He knew that much. The yokai must have taken Kohaku. Jinenji knew something, or else he wouldn’t have offered the package Sesshomaru had arrogantly refused. The rest at Kaede’s house were clueless. Rin lied to them as well. She meant to keep them from following her. He stopped himself from asking why his brother had not protected her. How could he have let something so vile so close to her? “Someone attacked you and took Kohaku.” He let his hand rest on the closing wound on he stomach.

            Rin’s chest was heaving now, her body was shaking, he felt her temperature rising. He could feel her skin burning against his knee as he held her. He had forgotten that part. _Use it wisely Sesshomaru,_ his father had said. Not that he ever would, he had no need or desire to help humans then. Why would he mingle his precious blood with creatures so disgusting. Except now.

            “You’re hurt?” Her voice was tender in his ears. He felt her hand touch the skin of his wrist. The nimble fingers felt like static against his skin. Her fingers slid up his wrist under the hem of his sleeve and over bare bicep, “Sesshomaru-sama?”

“Foolish girl, the cut has already healed,” then why was his hand still on her stomach, was he willing the wounds to close? Her skin was soft here. He felt the ridges along her abdomen, her muscles were firm. His hand trailed up and stopped right by the fabric that was near her breasts. He touched it wondering what it was. He shook his head, Rin’s body no longer looked like the girl he found in the woods so long ago. She had long legs that were built. Before he had been blinded, it was obvious that her training had made them stronger than the average human. Her arms were not as soft, they were lightly tanned from the sun with two hard bumps on her biceps. He was beginning to tire asking her the same questions.

            “Sesshomaru-sama,” Rin croaked, “remember the day in the field of yellow flowers? When I was eight? Before Naraku was gone?”

            He responded with scoff, he knew that day well.

            “We were walking and Jaken told me that you looked like us because you wanted, not because it your true form. I asked what it was. You told me to stop asking silly questions. You were mad because Inuyasha took Meido Zangetsha. I was holding Tenseiga. Jaken told me you were a magnificent white dog and that you only changed if your life was in danger.” Her hand moved up from his bicep her to his shoulder, she touched his shoulder. Her thumb ran along the crook of muscle.

            He tried to ignore her wandering hand as he held her. She was becoming delirious with fever. “You asked me to change,” was it possible there was a laugh hiding in his throat? Her body was at its boiling point, perhaps if he kept her talking she would finally divulge in a fit of fever what happened. _We haven’t spoken like this in years. When she was a child and I came to visit, I sat under trees and watched her play, as she aged we enjoyed simple conversation and then the words turned into arguments._

            “You were so beautiful,” she smiled, caressing his cheek with her other hand. Her thumb moved along the top stripe of his face, “you are beautiful.” Her heart did it again, the thing she had felt so many times now when he came to visit. It felt like longing, a skipped beat, and yearning to be close to him. “I missed you,” she pushed her nose into the stomach of his armor.

Sesshomaru attempted to ignore his body’s reaction to her invasion and her words. She was going limp in his arms again. He shook her lightly, “stay awake Rin,” he allowed himself the comfort of her smell. He stroked her cheek. “Tell me, what happened next.”

 “Once you changed completely, I asked for a ride. Jaken was miserable, he thought I was stupid for asking, but you let me…then you knelt down and offered your back to Kohaku. You spent the afternoon letting me ride on your back. I fell asleep.”

            He let a smile cross his face. The things the child could make him do just by grinning at him. She worshipped the ground he walked on and he knew it. Her fingers continued against his chest through the opening of his sleeve.

“Your skin is too hot. I will find a body of water nearby, stay with Aun.” He set her down gently fearful she would break. She grunted as her body touched the ground. She curled tightly into a ball. He knew that she would need to rest in cool water, something the Miko had taught him. When she spoke of that day and touched his face, his own heartbeat changed, he wasn’t sure at first what the feeling was. It was warm, a feeling of connection, of deep knowledge. He shook his head, she was still a child. He was only steps away when his lack of sight brought him back to reality. He sniffed the air, water had its own aroma. Frustrated he sniffed again. This was growing tiresome.

            Rin took a deep breath that ended in a short chuckle, “I told you, you wouldn’t be able to smell for a few days. I made it to stop you from finding me. There was a lake a few miles to the east.” Her eyes began to close and her body became rigid, it trembled and shook.

            Sesshomaru strode back to the sound of Rin’s shaking breath. He scooped her up into his arms and called, “Aun.” The dragon stomped over to him. Sesshomaru alighted onto his back, “find this lake. Go east,” he sat on the dragon’s back. He held Rin against his chest. Her head rest against his mokomoko. “Foolish girl,” he muttered to himself, “you should have sent for me.”

            Aun flew into the air towards the lake. It didn’t take long for the dragon to find it. He stopped just in front of the water. Sesshomaru made out the sound of it lapping at the rocks. So often he sat in nature, listening to sounds of birds, animals and water flowing, he didn’t need his sight to know how to find the water, or how far away it was. He let Rin down by the water’s edge.

Rin stirred lightly. She tried to force her eyes open. She was still barely moving, the searing pain in her abdomen took her breath away but it was as if she could feel her skin mending itself together. This was taking too long; the sun would be up soon giving her only hours to travel. She reached her hand out to the water, even her fingers were burning. The cool water soothed them. She tried pulling herself closer to the waves, her arms refused to work.

            Sesshomaru sighed, gazing at her. It couldn’t be helped, if he left her in the water alone as she was, she would drown. He removed his armor and set it on the ground. He untied his obi and set the swords next to the armor. He removed his white haori with the red on the sleeves and white inside layer. Rin stared, her breath caught. His skin was pale but taught around muscles that had been forming for hundreds of years. His arms were equally well define. He was beautiful. She licked her lips wondering what his skin tasted like, was it different than what she had tasted in his mouth?

Sesshomaru left his shoes next to the haori. He kept his cheeks firm, trying to stifle the pride he felt when her heart beat that much faster seeing his exposed chest. He knelt down and gently picked her up. He carried Rin into the water, to calm the raging fever.

            Her breath quickened but she dare not tell him it was because she was so close to his skin. She let out a small cry when the water rushed over the skin that was healing. There wasn’t much left of her open wound. She could almost see the rest of it closing. The water lapped against her skin, she held onto Sesshomaru’s shoulder as he float her in the water supporting her gently. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand was tracing the moon on his forehead. He seemed annoyed at first, scowling at her, if he let go she would fall into the water. “Rin, stop.”

            There was a tightness in his chest. He knew that Rin was the one that had taught him so many emotions, he didn’t know before. Her smile, the one that had melted his heart when he brought her back to life, to care for someone else, compassion, something his father knew he lacked. Now what were these new feelings? He knew what her racing heart meant. He could hear it pulsating fiercely. Her skin perspired. He felt a tightening in his abdomen. Sesshomaru denied the feeling, he knew that feeling, he knew the primal urge, but couldn’t understand why he felt it now for her as she caressed his face. He adjusted her on his knee and used his shoulder to brace her back so she wouldn’t fall. He removed her hand from his face just as she was nearing his lips, “Rin,” she never used to defy him.

            “I can’t…” she muttered reaching for his face again her eyes were big and round, why was she looking at him like that? And why was his body responding to her. He felt a yearning to be closer to her. The soft skin of her stomach was already pressed against his chest causing the small bundle of nerves in his lower back to tighten.  

            “Please,” she was delirious, “don’t let Kohaku die.”

            “He will not die, now be quiet,” he held her hands firmly, fearful of what anymore exploration on her part would bring.

            Rin tried to force herself to focus. She felt so hot, so tired, “what are their weaknesses? Kuma-yokai? I…we tried the neck, the katan wouldn’t go in.”

            “The skin around their necks is thicker, was it in animal or human form?” He adjusted her slightly bringing her higher up to his face.

            “Animal,” she rest and held his hand.

            “You’re fortunate it wasn’t in human form. Was it large?”

            “No, the size of a regular bear,” she whispered, “I can’t stop shaking.” She shivered and trembled against him.

            “It will break soon, then you will sleep. Their bellies are their weak points here,” he took her fingers and pressed them against his own skin, just below his sternum, “their bones are nearly unbreakable. Do you feel how the skin is softer there?”

            She gulped touching his stomach, “yes.”

            “That is where you must aim, and the area beneath the ribs,” he drew her hand to his side where the lowest point of his ribs met with his stomach, “make it stand on two legs. Then take your aim.”

            “Thank you, Sesshomaru-sama.”

            He steadily float Rin in the water, her temperature finally felt like it had reached its zenith.

            “Are you afraid to die?” She asked him.

            “Do you go to your death Rin?” Those words, why was she asking him that? His stomach pitched and cramped, _I won’t let you go alone._

            “I don’t know,” she tried to pull herself upright, the motion nearly caused her head to go under the water.

            “Relax,” he commanded her, “rest.”

            “Why did you come back?” Her hand was on his face again, this time tracing his jaw bone. It stopped just by his mouth. She pushed lightly on his bottom lip. “I missed you.”

            He didn’t answer. It wasn’t the time to answer. He held her until he felt her body go limp, floating in the moonlight. He took a moment to use his sense of touch to define the changes he felt. Soft skin around the stomach and back, firmer hands and calloused feet. Perhaps she no longer needed him, not in the way she used to. When he was sure her body had cooled, he brought her from the water and set her down on top of his haori. He touched her stomach, feeling the valley beneath her breasts, towards her navel, ensuring the wounds were completely closed. There was not a mark left, not even a scar. His blood was powerful. He refused to send her to battle injured. He sat near her knowing that if he could not watch the rise and fall of her chest, he would be able to hear it. When she began to shiver from the cold water that glittered her skin and the night breeze, he gently looped his tale around her. Sesshomaru pulled her against his chest. He indulged in the guilty pleasure of letting his skin press against hers. _You try my patience._ “This Sesshomaru missed you,” he said in silence as she slept in his arms, he let his lips press against the top of her head. “I will not allow your death.”


	4. Letting Go

Several hours later, hours of Sesshomaru guarding Rin and staring at the sky as it reflected off his face, the sun slowly began to peak through the trees. Sunrise, morning had its own smell. It reminded him of Rin, she always smelled like flowers covered in dew during the first hours of morning. She slept comfortably in his arms. At some point he had called Aun over and set her stomach down on the dragon’s back.

Aun guided Sesshomaru’s steps. He led them back to Kaede’s village and away from danger. As the sun rose he heard Rin stirring. She felt Aun beneath her moving, “no,” she felt her strength come back, “no…no...no!” She flew off A-Un in one leap and ran as fast as she could. She couldn’t tell how much distance they had covered while she slept. She ran as fast as she could towards the mountain. _Kohaku I won’t let you down. I’m going to save you!_

 She knew Sesshomaru sense of smell was still blighted and his sight inhibited. She tried to make her footfalls as quiet as possible to avoid his ears. It didn’t help, he was on her trail within moments of her leaving the dragon’s back. He jumped over her head and grabbed her by the shoulders. She had no more tricks to stop him and knew besides Inuyasha no one stood a chance against him. It didn’t stop her from kicking him in the stomach. Both of their eyes widened in surprise, although she felt like it had hit a stone rock and she regretted the action as soon as it was completed for the pain it caused.

            “Damn it, Sesshomaru let me go!” She screamed at him as he dragged her back to Aun.

            “Rin it is a trap, wherever you go, you go towards a trap,” he scolded her, “I will not allow it. Not even for Kohaku.” He turned her around so her back faced his chest and held her with one hand on each of her elbows.

            Rin removed a knife from her sleeve, it was one Kohaku had given her, made from the teeth of a snake demon. It was not venomous. She sliced through the hand that held her. She heard Sesshomaru hiss, she knew that she had to get away. This time she only made it a few steps before he had her again, his eyes were blazing, near red, she knew she was in trouble. “Why can’t you understand?” His eyes blazed red clearing his vision somewhat.

            “This Sesshomaru understands you are walking towards a trap and although you have grown in cunning and strength you cannot take on a Bear yokai yourself.” His chest was puffing, “I will not lose you Rin.”

            “Why? Why can’t you just let me go?” She grabbed his face and pulled his mouth to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck. She poured her emotions into the kiss, tasting the inside of his mouth, as she had the night under the full moon.

            He pushed her back by the arms, “this can’t happen,” he said firmly.

            “It already did,” she caressed his cheek, “let me go, please.”

            “I can’t,” his voice lowered to a whisper, he rest his forehead against hers, “it is a trap.” He massaged her arms, willing his lips to remain parted from hers, “tell me what happened?”

            She shook her head, “I can’t. Sesshomaru-sama, forgive me.” She touched his wrist where it bled. She regretting harming him. “I’ll fix your eyes, but you must promise me, that you will let me go and that you will not follow me until sundown,” she could barely breathe. She pressed her mouth into his again, her tongue darted into his mouth.

            He pushed her back, “stop.”

            “Let me have this,” she said quietly, her hand still on his face, “give me the strength to go into battle.”

            His lips came down on hers again, tenderly at first then firmly, his hands greedily pulled her waist against his. “Heal my eyes and smell, I will let you go,” he broke their embrace.

            “You must keep your promise, you must not follow me until this evening.” She persisted. She gripped the material of his haori.

            “You accuse me of lying?”

            “I accuse you of not trusting me, of not believing in me,” she pursed her lips, “let me go.”

            “I do not like this,” he snarled. He straightened to his full height. He released her arms.

            “You will give me Aun, you killed my horse, I will not make it in time on my own.”

“You will stop making demands Rin,” Sesshomaru snarled at her, his eyes reverted to their natural gold. “Aun.” He called. The two headed dragon lumbered forward, scales glinting in the morning sun. He handed her the reigns.

Rin stood up and looked around, she needed tree root, and silent berries. The cure had to be simple, if it was complicated she would have had to return to Jinenji. She walked around the grove flipping over rocks and inspecting bushes. She found some of what she needed near the trunk of an old pisceas and the other growing near the mouth of what looked like a racoons home. Sesshomaru’s eyes followed her. She was amazed that even though he was mostly blind he could still track her. The last thing she needed was from the lake, but she didn’t know how far they were from it. Instead she dug in the ground, enjoying the smell of fresh soil. “Found it.” She pulled two small stones from the ground and beat them together with the herbs until they became a paste. She placed the paste in her palm and walked towards Sesshomaru. He stood easily head and shoulders over her, “kneel down Sesshomaru-sama.”

He complied, he felt that feeling again, the one where his chest tightened, and breathing became labored. What was this girl doing to him? He felt her small fingers rub the paste under his nose. She was gentle and deliberate. “Close your eyes,” she instructed, “I have to put this on your eye-lids.” He complied again, but now that his smell was coming back, he could smell the sweet herbs under his nose but he could smell how close she was to him. She smelled of the earth and berries, he felt a fire in his stomach again, he couldn’t explain it. He felt her fingers over his eyes, she placed the paste on the right and then on the left, “there.” She whispered, her lips were dangerously close to his and her hand rested on his cheek, she stroked the stripes on his cheeks.

When his eyes opened, he saw her face, a face he hadn’t seen in almost a year not since…he wouldn’t let his mind go there. Deep brown moon shaped eyes, full lips. “your stomach is better now,” he commented not moving his face. “Rin, why do you continue this?”

She didn’t know the answer herself, “what,” her voice quieted. He took her hand in his and removed it from his face.

            He stood quickly before he gave in to her eyes, he could ask himself why these feelings were happening. Why did holding her hand take his breath away. When had it started? When had his emotions towards her changed from a doting father to something he did not want to admit. “You touch my face as though we are intimate.”

            She hung her head, her cheeks flushed. “Why did you return?”

“We must speak, after you have completed your task,” he told her. This time it was his hand that caressed her. He feathered it through her hair by the nape of her neck.

Rin nodded her head, her lips trembled at his touch against her skin, “I have to go, remember your promise. Do not follow me until tonight.” She wanted to explore what was happening closer but there was no time.  She moved closer to him, “we can’t.”

His mouth was close to hers, his bottom lip brushed past hers, he pulled her close to him, she went rigid. Their mouths met in warmth, “Rin,” he lay his crescent moon against her forehead, “don’t die.” He placed her right hand over his heart, he felt something stirring inside of him, something yearning to keep her with him, “don’t die.”

            “Believe in me,” she whispered.

            “I do,” he released her, “go.”  

            Rin climbed onto A-Un’s back, “go Aun, hurry!” What was she thinking? She kissed him again? What started as an innocent game when she was fifteen somehow persisted. That first kiss she planted as a dare haunted her. She had let her mouth fall on his to satisfy her friends, but then it grew into something else. Everything started changing until that night a year before beneath the full moon. Before, she wanted to be close to him because it felt like a father who cradled her and kept her safe. Now she wanted something else from him. She cursed not having anyone to talk to about her feelings, or what was happening. Kaede told her she was ready to wed when she was fourteen, but Rin wanted to wander the world like she had as a child. She had enough of humans, and of Yokai.

“Hurry Aun,” she said again. She thought of what she had done, how her lips felt against his. She touched her mouth and shook her head. She spent the last year trying to put the thought of him out of her head. She knew that he was too proud to ever have a real relationship with her. “Why did I kiss him again Aun?” That first kiss was so stupid, it was a dare from Kohaku and her friend Satsu, then it happened again one day when she went swimming.

 

Rin was fifteen, at least she thought she was. She knew that she was around seven seasons old when her family was killed. She didn’t count the cycles of the moon until that fateful day, nearing the end of the summer when she found the collapsed Dai-yokai in the forest. She knew that she was nearing her eighth season then. They traveled together for nearly a year before he deposited her with Kaede. Their parting had been bitter, but over time she learned to adjust to life in the village. She made friends with Satsu and Kohaku visited often. It wasn’t until Kagome-sama returned that she bullied Rin into choosing a birthday. At the age of eleven she had run up to Sesshomaru-sama and asked, “when is Rin’s birthday?”

“Birthday?” The dai-yokai questioned the little girl.

“Kagome-sama says everyone has one. She celebrates hers, in her time, does Rin have a birthday?”

            “Everyone has a birthday silly girl,” Jaken scolded her.

            “When is Sesshomaru-sama’s birthday?” Rin asked him.

            “The first new moon of winter,” he replied quietly.

            “When is Jaken-sama’s birthday?”

            Jaken rocked on his heels thinking, “the third halfmoon of spring.”

            “When is Rin’s?” She asked.

            “How would we know?” Jaken smarted off.

            Sesshomaru flicked the imp in the head with his whip.

            “When did Sesshomaru-sama find Rin?”

            She remembered the flash of annoyance that crossed his face. Sesshomaru was adamant that she found him, not the other way around. For once he didn’t correct her, “the last full moon of summer,” he answered her quietly.

            “Then that will be Rin’s birthday! Rin is twelve then,” she ran off to tell Kagome-sama.

            Those times were so simple, it was the days leading up to her sixteenth birthday that had become more complicated. Why, oh, why she ever let Satsu and Kohaku convince her to kiss Sesshomaru-sama was beyond her. The last encounter before things became, well different was not the word, strained couldn’t explain it, just not the same happened the month before Rin would turn sixteen. Kagome-sama gave her something called a bathing suit, she brought one for Satsu and some of the other girls. She told them it was more comfortable to swim in. Rin’s was magenta, it reminded her of Sesshomaru-sama’s stripes on his face. It was one whole piece but there were mesh openings around her stomach that showed her navel.

            “You look hot,” Kagome-sama told her.

            “I am hot, the temperature is very high,” the sun was beating down on her skin. She was typically fairly pale skinned until the summer months came. Then her tone darkened.

            “That’s not what I mean,” Kagome-sama laughed at her. “I mean you look attractive. He’s coming today isn’t he?”

            “At sunset as usual, although I shouldn’t wear this when he comes,” Rin fingered the thick strap on her shoulder.

            “No you should,” Kagome laughed at her.

            “Why?”

            “You two, you think I don’t know about that ‘innocent’ kiss?” Kagome rolled her eyes.

            Rin flushed, “I didn’t mean too. Well I did meant too, but he didn’t return it, and it was just a dare.”

            “Uh-huh,” Kagome tapped her lips, “well if I were you, I would keep it on.”

            Rin sighed, “I’m going swimming now,” she said and walked away. The village was blessed with two sources of water. A flowing river to the west of the main part of the village and a lake that was near Inuyasha’s forest. Rin met up with Satsu who wore a black swimsuit similar to her own. They grasped hands and ran to the lake laughing. Inuyasha sat high in a tree limb with his back turned. He and Kagome had set hours in the summer for the women and men to use the lake, always at separate times. There was always some man or teenage boy that tried to take a peek, which was why he sat with his back turned in the tree. Especially on days like today.

            “Do you think Hideki will try to come spy on us again?” Rin laughed as she ran into the water with Satsu.

            “No, Inuyasha and Kohaku pummeled him last time,” Satsu swam out to the middle of the lake.

            Rin followed her, using breast strokes to get there. They both took big breaths of air and swam into the center of the lake. There were other young girls and a few little boys with their mothers enjoying the cool of the water. Rin swam up with a smooth rock in her hand, she and Satsu laughed and played in the water, splashing each other and giggling, until they both wanted to lounge in the sun.

            In the center of the lake there were several large rocks, big enough to rest on. Rin swam out towards them and pulled herself onto the rock. She helped Satsu out. Satsu was a gorgeous girl, with curves Rin could only dream of. Satsu’s body was full and she was easily the talk of the village. She had many suitors knocking on her door, none that she was interested in. Rin’s body was another story completely. It was flatter and stronger. Three years of training with Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango and Kohaku had made her leaner and stronger. Her breasts were tiny pathetic things that were the size of apples. Rin had few prospects, but most were terrified of the demon Lord who came to visit her.

            Rin lay on her back with her knees bent on the stones. She and Satsu talked idly about life in the village and places they wanted to see. Rin told her the many places she saw while travelling with  Sesshomaru-sama. “If you could go back to any place where would you go?” Satsu asked her.

“Mt. Hakerei, it was peaceful there,” she said. The mountain in the mist was like a dream. She failed to mention that was also one of the many places she had been kidnapped. They both stopped talking and enjoyed the warmth of summer as it dried them out. Rin covered her eyes to blot out the sun with her arm and let her mind drift. She didn’t pay attention when she heard small children and other women running out of the lake. She barely noticed a pair of feet land next to her on the rock.

“Rin?” The voice was tenor, commanding and sounded flustered.

“Huh?” She answered not registering the voice.

            She felt something soft cover her. She pushed it off annoyed finally opening her eyes, Sesshomaru’s haori lay next to her in a pile where she had shoved it. She sat up staring at him. He was in just his under layer, his armor was on the side of the lake. His swords were still strapped to his chest. She never noticed before how lean he was. “Cover yourself.” He put the white haori with the red sakura flowers back on her.

            She threw it off, “no, I’m swimming, besides there are no men here, except you, and it’s the women’s time to swim and it’s not sunset! Why are you here?”

            “You are not dressed modestly, even for swimming,” he pushed the haori back on her.

            Satsu sat up, entertained by the arguing. Sesshomaru turned his eyes on her in a fury. She dusted off her legs and said, “I think I should go home,” she jumped into the water and swam away.

            “Hey Satsu!” Rin called her, “come back! You made everyone leave you’re such a grouch!” She yelled at Sesshomaru. She stood up and threw his haori in the water. She enjoyed watching the anger rise in his eyes. “You know what are you going to do when I am naked with a husband having sex?”

            If it was possible for him to pale, he did. He took a step towards her. She saw his hand coming and dashed into the water. She dove head first into the lake and swam deep into the water. She hid behind the bottom of the boulder. She saw a streak of light, and Sesshomaru was under the water. Rin smiled watching him. She knew she had to remain still, he couldn’t smell her under water, but he would hear her. She felt her chest burning, begging for air. She gazed at his shape, _wow,_ she thought. He was chiseled, defined, he had taken off his inner layer and his shoes. She saw his striped feet again and giggled. The noise was too much she swam for air.

            She knew he saw her. She darted for the top grabbed a loose bamboo branch and dove back down. He was on her with tail. She tried to outrun him, but he was just as fast in the water as he was out of the water. She felt a hand grip her waist and hoist her out of the water. As soon as they were back on the rocks, she tried to get out of his grip, “I’m trying to swim!” She pushed back on his chest.

            “Oi! Sesshomaru!” Inuyasha called from the edge of the lake, “it’s time for the ladies to swim, not you!”

            “Bakusaiga!” Sesshomaru swung at Inuyasha. The waves of green energy sent Inuyasha flying. He was protected by Tetsusaiga’s barrier.

            In the moment of distraction, Rin slipped out of his grip, using the wetness between them to wiggle loose. She dove into the water again, bamboo branch still in hand. She barely heard Sesshomaru curse then dive in after her. She found some weeds to hide behind. She pushed the bamboo shoot up until she blew it clean of water and breathed slowly. She watched him search for her. His white hair float in the water, rippling around him. She lusted after his muscular stomach. It flexed as he swam in the water. For the first time she saw him without his bulky mokomoko. _So he can control its appearance,_ she laughed giving away her location again. In a flash she was back on the rock in his arms. “Get dressed,” he scolded her.

            “No,” she flicked water in Sesshomaru’s face.

            He closed his eyes before the water droplets got in his eyes.

            “I made you blink,” she chuckled, “now let me go.”

            “What are you wearing?” He asked her. His eyes took on a red sheen she hadn’t seen before.

            “It’s called a swimsuit. Kagome-sama says all the girls wear one in her time. Do you like it?” She blushed cursing herself for saying it.

            His nose came to her neck, sniffing her skin. His nose ran up her throat until his lips were very close to her own, “it is not modest.”

            Rin broke out in goosebumps. “There are no men here,” she tried to get out of his grip, “except you.”

            “I am not a man,” he said quietly, his nose brushed over hers again giving her goosebumps. “Someone might see you.”

            “Is that a problem?” Rin couldn’t believe she was flirting, it was the first time she knew she was flirting with him.

            “It could be,” his lips brushed past hers, nearly landing on them.

            “Well, then it’s good I have my Dai-yokai to protect me,” she touched his face as it neared hers, “Sesshomaru-sama?” That was when the butterflies started, her stomach fluttered, her heart pounded. She didn’t understand what he was doing with his nose and why he kept running it up the length of her neck. Her lips trembled the closer his nose came to her mouth.

            “You may tempt someone,” he said quietly. She had never heard his voice take on that pitch before.

            “Tempt?” The question nearly died on her mouth as his lips waited millimeters from her own.

            She had hoped that he would move his mouth closer to hers. Instead he threw her into the water. She squeaked a protest, flopping on her back then swimming to the surface, “you’re mean!” She yelled at him.

            He flew back to the edge of the lake and sat down with his back turned. He threw his wet clothes at Jaken to dry. Rin tread in the water annoyed that he left her alone. “Just for that I’m walking back to my hut like this,” she said under her breath. The words were regretted instantly, she was swallowed in a white light and deposited seconds later at the entrance of her hut by a very wet and grumpy dog demon.

 

            As Rin rode on Aun she blushed recalling the memory. _What’s happening between us?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for reviews, if anyone wants to leave one that would be great let me know what you think!


	5. The Bear Yokai

Jaken spent the night and the whole of the next day walking towards Inuyasha’s home. When night came, his steps became clumsy. He tripped over rocks and twigs, stumbling in the dark until he passed out next to a cedar tree. His mind tormented him while he slept. How could that girl be so rude to Sesshomaru-sama? _Why does Sesshomaru torment me?_ Without Aun it would take him two days to get to that house and bring the Hanyou and then he didn’t know how long to get back on foot. _Some of us can’t fly!_ He fumed. His eyes closed to slits.

 

            Sesshomaru glared at the sun as he followed Rin from a distance. He would not allow her to face this danger alone. Who was this Bear Yokai? Where was Inuyasha? As much as he detested his younger brother, a bear demon should not have overwhelmed him. He could only conclude that the Yokai had waited for Inuyasha to not be there. Considering the damage to Rin’s stomach, it was likely that the Monk and the Slayer were also absent when it happened. None of them seemed to have a clue that something more was happening to Rin than her simply leaving the village. Sesshomaru knew that Kohaku could protect Rin, he had in the past even under Naraku’s spell, but why would the demon take the boy? What possible value could he have? Not that Kohaku was still a boy, he was twenty years old. And why would Rin not ask for help?

His mind flashed back to the day he caught her falling into a precipice. Her little voice had reached him from a distance, “Sesshomaru-sama, I’m scared,” his heart had plummeted twice that day. He feared nothing and no one. Yet fear entered his heart when he heard Rin scream as a hand of Saimyosho attacked her, he became even more scared when he found Aun fighting a hoard of Yokai and Rin falling from a cliff. The little girl that used to faint, now feared nothing and no one, not even him.

She was headed towards a large mountain in the distance. She flew low, keeping Aun from going higher than the tree tops. _Curious,_ he thought to himself observing her. He also kept low and to the side, his bottom half was nearly see through like a cloud. He flexed his fingers around Bakusaiga, he broke his promise not to follow her until the evening, but he didn’t care.

            A sensation touched his lips, it was not a real one but the memory of her lips on his, and the longing he heard in her voice. He felt his own longing, from the day he left her with Kaede. He knew it was for the best. He left her to keep her safe and he would only admit to himself that it was because Inuyasha was there to protect her. His group had proved formidable. But now, he was not sure what was happening. She told him, and others did that she grew up, that she would one day stop being the little girl that clung to his every word. She was happy to defy him, to refuse his help and take danger on her own. She had changed, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Those other people, the people he had left her with influenced her their own way. They made her strong and her strength made him weak.

            “That’s far enough Aun land,” Rin stopped several miles from the base of the mountain. She hopped off Aun’s back and pat his heads, “thank you,” she kissed one head and then the other. It felt like good bye. “Remind me to give you a treat if I make it out of this alive,” she feathered her fingers through their manes. The nuzzled her hand nearly knocking her down. She touched her stomach again, _it worked. At least now I don’t have to fight with an injured stomach._ “Stay here, if I don’t come back, go find Sesshomaru-sama.” She started jogging towards the mountain.

            “Do not tell Sesshomaru,” the thing had told her that day after it mauled her stomach. Rin shook her head. She wanted to forget that day. She had never been so scared, not since the day she was running from the wolves trying to get to Sesshomaru-sama. She and Kohaku were in the forest fighting, arguing. “If it wasn’t what I saw then what was it?” Kohaku yelled at Rin.

            “I don’t know,” she rubbed her elbow. “You’re being stupid, why can’t we talk about it?”

            “Because of what I saw you two doing!” Kohaku fumed at her. He stormed deeper into the forest.

            “Kohaku wait!” She called to him, “wait, please!”

            “You can’t explain, like you don’t know what you were doing. I thought we were together Rin! I was going to ask you to marry me!” He kept his back to her.

            “You were?” Rin stopped.

            Then came the pounding. The earth shook beneath them. A loud roar filled the air. “We’ll finish this argument later,” Kohaku drew his large sickle that Totosai made him.

Trees were knocked down as the bear battered its way through the forest. Rin’s eyes expanded, she leapt out of the way of the stampeding bear. Kohaku jumped into one of the trees. She threw her knife made from snake demons at the Bear’s head and missed. “Rin the neck!” Kohaku called from the tree. She grabbed her sword and slid beneath the Bear, the sword bounced of the Bear’s skin. She rolled out from under its feet.

The worst happened when the bear opened its mouth, much like Rayokan, live bears came pouring out. Jeninji came running from his gardens. His eyes lit up bright blue. Rin went after the demon knowing if she ended his life, the bears would die too. “Rin look out!” Kohaku called. He threw his sickle at the Bear just when it began charging at Rin. The sickle hit the Bear in the shoulder, he yanked it out. Blood flowed down the brown shoulder, dripping onto the ground. The bear howled at Kohaku, opened its’ mouth wide and blew an army of bears at Kohaku. “Rin!” He called but not in time.

The Bear came charging at Rin, claws extended, she didn’t move fast enough. It sliced into her skin, cutting the skin of her stomach open. She hissed in pain, flopping on the ground. She forced herself to stand and attacked again. She leapt into the air attempting to slam her sword into the Bear’s side. She missed, it was faster than it seemed. Kohaku took after the bears pouring from the main demon’s mouth, while Rin tried to back the demon into the forest. She was neither strong enough or fast enough. Before she knew it, she saw what the demon had been after. He grabbed Kohaku in his mouth, and turned to Rin, “come to me on the fifth day, if you fail, if you alert your Lord, he will die. If you tell the hanyou mutt, he will die. By the blue and green mountain. Do not be late and tell no one.”

            “Kirara!!” Kohaku yelled. She came flying, feet afire, only to be grabbed around the waist and taken.

            “No!” Rin screamed, when the Bear ran through the forest back to where it had come from. Her stomach burned, she felt light headed from blood loss. “Jinenji-san, help me, you must stop the smell! Inuyasha will know if he is nearby, do something…” The world went dark, she lost consciousness.

When she woke, Jinenji-san had made the scent stopping powder and wrapped her stomach in bandages. Moving was painful. She could barely sit up. She forced herself to move anyway. She told Sango and Miroku that Kohaku went to slay a demon in a nearing village.  She said he took Kohaku with her. She prayed that Inuyasha wouldn’t figure out she was lying. Two days later, she left knowing she had only a few days to get to the mountain to save Kohaku.

           

            Jaken made it as quickly as he could to the village where Kagome lived. When he arrived, everyone was huddled in Kaede’s hut. They were eating dinner, the humans had multiplied. There were children that belonged to the human couple running around the hut refusing to sit. Jaken snarled at the dirty hanyou’s children. He could tell they belonged to Inuyasha by the color of their hair, or the claws that protruded from their hands and feet. “The great Sesshomaru-sama has requested that Jinenji come to him.”

            Jinenji quivered in the back of the hut. His head brushed the straw roof.

            Inuyasha picked up on his fear and muttered, “tell my ass of a brother to go demanding elsewhere.”

            Jaken waived his hands in the air profusely screaming, “how dare you talk about the great Sesshomaru-sama like that! Rin has been injured badly and you sit here believing the letter she sent!” Jaken’s rebuke was fierce, he loved Rin deeply and the wound he had seen was bleeding badly. “Now where is Jinenji-san!”

            Jinenji with his scarred arms was cowering in the back of the hut. “Is Rin-chan okay? Did the wound in her stomach re-open? Did she use the green powder on Sesshomaru-sama?” His voice quavered, he covered his hands with his face when Inuyasha’s eyes widened. All eyes were now focused on Jinenji, who was trying to hide in a corner.

            “I should have known better. I smelled her blood for a brief moment a few days ago, I thought it was her time,” Inuyasha snarled, “oi Jinenji, you’ve been hiding something from us.” He walked towards the giant horse-hanyou.

            “I can’t tell you, I can’t tell. Rin-chan told me not to tell, Kohaku-san could die,” he shook. He covered his eyes.

            “Kohaku!?” Sango stood up, “Jinenji-san tell us what happened?”

            “Please Jinenji,” Kagome encouraged him, “Rin-chan needs us, what happened?”

            “Rin does not need the likes of a weak human like you, when she has Sesshomaru-sama by her side,” Jaken interrupted holding Nintojo and boasting with his eyes bordering on bulging out of his head.

            Inuyasha grabbed Jaken by the arm and punched his head, “who needs you toad. Oi Jinenji, spill it! That powder you made last week, you used it on me and Shippo you made it for Sesshomaru?”

            “What powder?” Kagome and Sango asked together. “Jinenji-san please?”

            Jinenji put his hands over his eyes and began to cry. In between sobs he told the who tale, how they were all gone fighting the hoard of demons and how he was alone with Rin and Kohaku. He cried when the Bear Demon came and although he tried to fight it, he was overwhelmed by all the smaller ones nipping at his ankles. He told of how Rin begged him to make something to staunch the smell of her injured abdomen so that Inuyasha wouldn’t smell it. She begged him to make something that would blight even Sesshomaru-sama. “I’m sorry Inuyasha-sama,” his eyes begged forgiveness, “to know if it would work on your brother we tested it on you and made it seem like an accident, the same with Shippo and then we made the antidote and poured it into the incense while you slept, hoping you wouldn’t notice.”

            “You knew she was leaving?” Kaede stared at him in disbelief, he had ever been an honest hanyou.

            “Hai,” he muttered sadly. He took the pouch from inside his shirt and gave it to Jaken, “if Rin hasn’t already, this will heal Sesshomaru-sama.”

            Jaken at first refused it boasting, “the great Sesshomaru-sama would never fall for something so weak, his body is too strong, he has the strength of thousands of men…” his voice trailed off in disbelief as he recalled Rin’s words, _smell, days…_ His hand wrapped around it. He made his way towards the door, “you will pay with your life Inuyasha, yours and your children’s for allowing such danger to befall Rin.”

            “Oi udasai-neh,” Inuyasha snarled and defensively as he clung to Tetsusiaga, “I’ll come with you.”

            “Yes, us too,” Miroku, Sango and Kagome said together.

            “You will not Kagome, you must watch the children,” Inuyasha countered.

            “Baka!” Kagome screamed at him, “Kaede-Sama can watch them, this is Sango’s brother and Rin. And Jaken is right, Sesshomaru will be after vengeance better for him to see we helped her than to leave her to her fate.”

            “She is in no danger,” Jaken countered, “she is with the-!”

            “The great ass, we know,” Inuyasha griped at Jaken, “let’s get our things and go quickly.”

            “Without Kirara, how will we get there quickly?” Miroku asked.

            “I can carry Kagome,” Inuyasha said. “I can’t smell Rin, her scent is already washing away but I can smell Sesshomaru, the air wreaks with his anger. Shut up,” Inuyasha booted Jaken before he had chance to protest.

            “We’ll take horses,” Sango said, “I hope Kirara is okay.” They made their preparations and left within an hour to find Rin and Sesshomaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like it say it! I am a sucker for reviews let me know what you think!


	6. My Strength is Your Strength

Rin climbed up the branches of a tall Camaphor tree. She rest her back against the trunk, her legs swung below. She had an hour before full sunset thanks to Aun. She wanted to spend it resting. Her muscles were exhausted from several days of riding. She touched her stomach again, where had he learned that from? How did he know his blood would heal her injury? _I kissed him again. He kissed me back._ Rin didn’t understand. She knuckled her head and sighed, _I’m so stupid._

 Rin sat back and closed her eyes, thinking of days past. There was a sense of finality in the air, like this would be her last day. Only she knew it wouldn’t be, he would have followed her already, he was probably hiding in the trees somewhere watching her. Hiding and watching, like he did often. After she became accustomed to Sesshomaru coming and going, there were times she felt like he was watching her, maybe that was why he sent her the katana. He must have known she was learning to fight. She closed her eyes, and thought back to that day, slowly letting the images come into her mind, as she allowed her body to rest. She folded her arms over her knees and breathed deeply, in and out, the way Miroku, Kohaku and Sango had taught her.

 

            The sun was setting and her heart with it, “I thought he was coming today. Do you smell him?” She asked Inuyasha. She sat on the fence to the field where Jinenji made a grand garden. Autumn was upon them, the air was getting cooler. The sky seemed more orange that day, as if it was announcing fall was in the air at the top of its lungs.

            Inuyasha was taking a break from his hut, she was sure he and Kagome had gotten into a fight. “Nothing stinks yet,” he laughed.

            Rin glared back at him, “are you two going to fight again?”

            “Probably he always has to show off.,” he fidgeted with the sword.

            “True,” she muttered. Rin was twelve, and although Inuyasha was still a head taller than her she was catching up. “It’s too bad you two just can’t kill each other already, besides we both know Bakusaiga is stronger than Tetsusiaga.”

            “Oi…” Inuyasha nudged her with his elbow.

“How’s the baby?” Rin loved visiting them. Tiny Sota was adorable. He had bright white hair and had somehow managed to get a moon on his forehead.

“Driving his mother crazy, you want to come spend the night tonight?” Inuyasha begged Rin, “he seems happy with you.”

“Maybe I’ll come after dinner. Kaede-sama doesn’t like it when I’m out late,” Rin answered picking at the splintering wood of the fence. “Why isn’t he here yet?”

Inuyasha gave her a sympathetic look and patted her shoulder. “Come on, back to training.” He threw her a bokken, the traditional Japanese wooden sword meant for training, “hold it up right. Not like that, you’re going to poke your eyes out!” He pushed her sword down, “remember the ready stance?”

“Sesshomaru-sama says you’re reckless when you fight, Inuyasha-sama,” Rin put her hand on her hips.

“Ready stance,” he lowered his voice, “now Rin, or I’ll make you run laps again.”

“Fine,” she widened her stance, with her sword at the ready. The blade was tilted just enough.

“Now move with me, one,” he changed positions, the sword was pointed down. “Keep your feet the same distance as your shoulders, you have to be able to move. Two,” he held the sword over his head, “elbows out, like a square, no you’re too floppy, strong remember?”

            Rin stopped, a thrumming was coming from the trees of the forest. It almost looked like the tops of the trees were vibrating, “what is that Inuyasha-sama?”

            “Go inside the hut, quickly,” he told her. He threw his bokken down and drew Tetsusaiga. He ran towards the trees.

She didn’t listen. She gripped the wooden hilt of her bokken and followed him into the forest. She was grateful she decided to wear a shorter kimono that day. Her eyes dilated. The rustling of the leaves, the howling that was coming from the forest, was a swarm of yokai coming straight for the village. There were snake eyes and crawling things, and a few ogres. She screamed at first, asking herself why the hell she followed Inuyasha into the forest. Then just as one of the snake eyes was coming at her she slammed the wooden sword into the mushy eye. Green slime covered her arm up to her elbow, then the yellow eye burst into red blood as it hissed in pain and then fell to the forest floor. “I got one!” She jumped up and down. Her confidence emboldened she stood up and ran after another demon. They were thronging around her.

            “Rin get down! Kaze no Kizu!” Inuyasha bellowed.

She ran and ducked behind a boulder. The first wave was wiped out by Inuyasha. He was by her side in a flash, grabbing her around the waist and hoisting her into the limbs of a tree “If he comes now, he will kill me. Stay here!”

            Rin refused to stay in the tree. She leapt from branch to branch until she landed on the forest floors, crunching the dry autumn leaves under her feet. Miroku ran past her with sutras flying, he swung his golden khakkhara into the oncoming horde, slashing them in half. Rin engaged another one eyed snake demon. It wrapped itself around her stomach and crushed her ribs. It flew with her into the air. She struggled to pull her sword arm loose. Instead she used her empty left hand thrust her fist into the gooey eye with the same result as the previous one. Both her hands were covered in blood now. It dropped her on the forest floor, she landed on her side. Her ribs slammed into a partially exposed rock. She curled into herself holding her side for only a moment before rolling out of the way of another that attempted to bite her from above. She grabbed the nearest large branch and used it to beat back the giant teeth coming at her.

            “Rin!” Inuyasha yelled, “I told you to stay back. Meido Zangetzha!”

            “I can take them watch!” She yelled back to him, she was surrounded by a three red snake-like demons and a lizard. She smashed the face of a green sloth demon so hard it crumpled to pieces. She slid on her knees grabbing her bokken and swung it around warding off the lizard yokai.

            When the next red one eye came down on her she tried to stab it through the mouth only to have her arm clamped down on. She shrieked in pain as the teeth crushed into her skin. She used her other arm to punch it in the eye as hard as she could manage. Her hand slipped into the eye coating itself in a jelly like substance, “ewww!” She cried. She hadn’t noticed it dragged her into the sky. It opened its mouth dropping releasing her arm. She plummeted back down to the ground face first. Her eyes widened, maybe she had been too confident. She braced herself for the crash against the ground. A moment before she hit the floor, she saw a flash of white light and felt all too familiar clawed hands grab her around the waist. “Sesshomaru-sama!” She clapped her hands excitedly. He set her on the ground and drew Bakusaiga, he didn’t wait for Inuyasha or Miroku to get out of the way, “Bakusaiga!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. The green energy from his sword ripped through the trees. Inuyasha grabbed Miroku and ducked out of the way gripping Tetsusaiga’s sheath.

Rin was practically dancing, “did you see? Did you! I took out two by myself!” She jumped up and down next to Sesshomaru.

            “Inuyasha!!!” Sesshomaru-sama bellowed. He turned on Inuyasha, flying through the air, claws streaming poison. He lunged at Inuyasha’s throat.

            “Oh don’t cry, aniki,” Inuyasha mocked his brother, “nothing happened to your precious Rin.” He blocked Sesshomaru’s thrust to the side with Tetsusaiga. He leapt out of the way of a small energy burst, then flipped into a tree.

            “Her blood and screams were in the air!” Sesshomaru followed Inuyasha into the tree hacking of it down with his katana, “how dare you lead her into battle!” He attempted to get a choke hold around the hanyou’s neck.

            “Sesshomaru-sama,” she yelled, “Sesshomaru-sama!” She stomped her foot annoyed. “But I only hurt my arm.”

            Miroku came up next to her, “better get back to the hut and clean that arm, those two could continue for hours.” He pat her shoulder lightly.

            “But it wasn’t his fault, oh no…” Rin looked at the scene unfolding, Sesshomaru threw his sword to the side. Apparently he was tired of Inuyasha hiding behind Tetsusaiga’s barrier. His eyes blurred red and the familiar howling and snarling followed, he was transforming. His face broke into a smile as he flew into the air.

            “Really?” Inuyasha yelled at his brother. “Seriously? I’m going to cut that arm off!” Inuyasha swung at Sesshomaru’s white fluffy left arm. “All this over a few Yokai? Did you forget the part where she told you she took two out by herself? Yeah that’s right, your sweet precious baby Rin, killed two by herself and almost a third, with a damn wooden sword!”

            Sesshomaru stalked towards Inuyasha, bolden and large. Rin couldn’t hold back any longer. She ignored Miroku’s protests to not interfere. She ran to the battle field and threw her hands up at her sides, “stop Sesshomaru-sama! He told me to return to the hut and I didn’t! He even put me in a tree out of harms reach and I chose to re-enter the forest! It wasn’t his fault it was mine.” She regretted it immediately. Angry teeth were just inches from her. Hot air breathed out against her nearly knocking her over. “I’m okay,” that wasn’t entirely true, her arm was injured.

            The angry white dog with the gorgeous ruff blowing in the wind nudged her injured arm. He wrapped his tongue around her wrist. Rin hissed in pain. He looped his tongue around it again, this time it didn’t hurt as much. She raised a trembling hand to Sesshomaru’s white nose, she dared to pat it softly, “I’m okay, Sesshomaru-sama.”

            He replied by giving her a snarl that revealed his razor sharp teeth. He turned and stalked away, then flew into the air.

            “Sesshomaru-sama!” Rin yelled after him, “come back!” She called to him. “What did I do wrong?” Rin asked Inuyasha and Miroku.

            “You have to ask?” Inuyasha shook his head, “you are more of a liability living here than a help,” he chuckled.

            Rin’s eyes seared with tears, “I just wanted to help,” she covered her mouth and ran as far and as fast as she could go. She ran until her lungs burned and she thought her legs were going to give out, she ran into the forest and immediately made her way for the river, she didn’t want Inuyasha to find her. She ran upriver towards, she didn’t know where, just as long as she was no longer a liability. She kept moving through the forest until she collapsed from exhaustion. She hadn’t even noticed that the puncture wounds on her wrist had healed. They found her two days later in a crop of trees tired and hungry. The next few days Sango and Kagome took her everywhere with them. Kagome let her spend more time six month old Sota, and Sango talked excitedly about how well Rin did for her first time against yokai. “If you ever call her a liability again, I’ll make you sit for a week,” Kagome scolded Inuyasha.

            Kagome took her aside that night after warming her up with what she said was hot-chocolate, “chocolate sooths the soul,” she said. Kagome brushed Rin’s long hair, “we all have strange lives Rin. Maybe you don’t know how lucky you are, not every girl has a dai-yokai looking out for her.”

            “The dai-yokai thinks I am still that little girl he found in the forest. I’m twelve, when Kohaku was my age,” she stopped seeing the hurt in Sango-san’s eyes, “Sorry, Sango-san.”

            “Don’t be,” Sango whispered while holding her new daughter, “you’re right. Kohaku began training when he was younger than you. You’ve done well learning what you have. If it’s truly what you want, then I will teach you be a Taijia like me and Kohaku.” She nuzzled the nose of her baby girl.

            “I don’t want a hiraikotsu…” Rin complained, it was a bulky weapon, powerful but she wanted something lighter. “If he found out…he won’t let me.”

            Kagome hugged Rin from behind, “then we won’t tell him. Want me to braid your hair?” Kagome and Sango were like Rin’s big sisters. They spent the most time with Rin besides Kaede-sama and her friend Satsu.

            Days later Jaken and Aun came. Jaken came with a katan in his hand, he left it with Rin then flew away. She didn’t even get to ask him about it. Rin remembered flipping it around in her hands. The hilt was in the shape of a golden dog that looked suspiciously like Sesshomaru when he was in his true form. The eyes were made from red gems. She touched the paws of the dog and smiled, “I bet you are really mad at me.” She unsheathed the sword from its black casing. The blade was white with yellow along the blade. She touched the tip, it didn’t cut her skin, yet felt deathly sharp. _Strange._ There was a small scroll tied to the mouth of the hilt. “Use it well.” Was all it said, would it have killed him to show some pride in her?  

 

            Rin shook her head, the sun was setting. She took out the bright yellow obi with purple on the ends, she looped into her hair until it covered her head like a kerchief. She used it to keep her hair out of her way while she fought. She massaged her tired feet, waiting for it to begin. Any moment the damn bear yokai would come out of hiding, and she would face it. She tried to remember what he said, _the belly under and under the rib cage on the sides._ She breathed heavily, attempting to cleanse herself of her remaining fear.

            The bear-demon came from the mouth of a cave nestled within the clefts of the mountain. His eyes were glowing red, his brown fur blew in the light breeze. He stood up on his back legs. Rin smiled, _keep standing._ His front claws were long and gnarled, twisted. She touched her stomach, the same claws that had torn her stomach open. She drew the sword and leapt to the forest floor. The trees were blocking most of the moon, she could smell the bear’s saliva falling from its mouth. It was panting in her direction hungrily, but hungry for what she was unsure. “Did you tell anyone?” It bellowed at her.

            “No,” she shook her head, it was the truth, although by now they all knew. Her heart was pounding in hear ears. She had to remind herself, _inner-peace_ , Miroku had told her over and over again, to calm her heart, because if it pounded any Yokai would hear it and come after her. She resumed walking towards the bear. She debated whether or not she would attack in that moment. The weak spots were open, but what if she killed it too soon? The mountain was so tall she couldn’t see the top. She pursed her lips, _I’ll have to wait._

            “You look well after that injury I caused you,” the bear boasted proudly. It’s jaws smacked as it spoke to her.

            “We have good herbs,” this was also the truth. Jinenji healed many. He made herbs for the entire village. He made them to ease the pain of childbirth, for the sick children, infection and disease. He had the cure for many demons born poisons and his heart was so big that he never charged anyone for his ointments. “Let me see Kohaku,” she demanded gripping the hilt of the sword. For a moment she could have sworn one of the paws squeezed the tip of her middle finger.

            “Don’t be hasty,” the bear gloated, “throw the sword to the side, and any other weapon you may have,” it motioned it’s head towards the ground.

            “If I have no weapons, how do I know you won’t attack me too?” She questioned him.

            “You don’t, and who says I won’t? But if you want to see your friends alive you will remove the weapons and leave them,” his drool dripped onto the forest floor.

            Rin ground her teeth. The bear didn’t know about the powder, if she could just get to Kohaku and Kirara she would help them escape. She began untying the obi that held her weapons around her waist.

            The bear turned around and began walking into a dark cave. It motioned with its head for her to follow. The cracks and crevices of the dark cavern, leaked water down green peaks. Rin tried to steady her breath, she wasn’t sure if being a Taijia was what she wanted. She felt power in not being helpless. When she was a child, she could not stop marauders from killing her family, but she had stopped them once from coming into the village when she was sixteen and she stopped demons. She was strong now. _I am strong,_ she told herself, holding on to the obi she had used to tie her hair back. _My strength is your strength._ His voice was in her ears, _I am strong. I will not be scared._

 

            “Hurry up!” Inuyasha called to Miroku.

            “The horses will die if we drive them harder,” Miroku warned him

            “Then put Sango on your back and drive your legs into the ground.” Inuyasha took a great leap from one tree branch to the next. They had finally gotten far enough into the forest he could smell both Rin and Sesshomaru.

            “Inuyasha, you may not tire as easily but the rest of us do. We must sleep, if only for a few hours,” Sango shouted from her horse. She pulled the black mare to a stop next to Miroku who rose a chestnut colored stallion.

            Jaken was right behind them, “you rest pathetic humans, but I must find Sesshomaru-sama.” He ran ahead.

            Kagome climbed off Inuyasha’s back and put her bow and arrows on the ground. “We’ll stop here. Inuyasha even you need to eat something,” she broke open her bag and gave them ninja snacks that she had brought from her own land. “Once the horses have had a chance to rest we will follow, remember your brother is there.”

            “That fool couldn’t defend a fly,” Inuyasha growled.

            “Except for when he beats you up,” Sango responded.

            “And nearly takes your head off with Bakusaiga.” Laughed Miroku.

            Kagome smiled, it was like old times when they were chasing after Naraku, at least this enemy would not be as evil, they had not faced anyone as strong or as cunning in the years that followed the destruction of the Shikon no Tama.

            “Inuyasha, you rest first,” Miroku said.

            “Like I need to,” he responded, arms folded and eyebrows arched.

            “Sleep for half an hour then, I will keep watch.” Miroku replied, “we will all do better rested.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like it say it! I'm a sucker for reviews let me know what you think.


	7. Worse than Death

Sesshomaru observed Rin from the bushes. He gazed at her as she climbed into a tree. She found herself a bough that was slightly bent and curved to her body. _Her body,_ he thought to himself. Something was different about her, something about her was stirring a longing in his heart. A part of him wanted to sit in the tree with her. Watch the sunset with its oranges and yellows, like they had so many times together back in the forest. He cursed himself for never taking more time to investigate the things he smelled on her before. The blood of demons, the smell of the forest, the sweat of battle. She had hardened. He was unsure if he liked that. She had never truly been soft. He loved the way she ran through fields of flowers, the smile that seemed to light up her eyes, and the sound of her feet behind his. Yet, she wasn’t that little girl anymore.

Rin seemed peaceful to him as she rested in the large tree branch. Her scent was far from peaceful.  She was scared, the musky scent of sweat and fear permeated the sky. He shook his head,  feeling a constriction in his heart, _what is she thinking?_ A simple bear demon he could take himself, one swipe of his claws and he would send it to the netherworld. He fondly stroked the hilt of his sword. He made a promise and had already broken it. He did not know how she would react if she knew that he was standing in the shadows. _Believe in me,_ she asked him. Were these the actions of a yokai that believed in his human?

When he sent her the sword, he assumed she would use it for protection. He assumed she would learn to use it, he had not expected to face her as he did in the forest. After sparring with her himself, he comprehended that her training had already spanned years. Her body was hard. He felt his back tighten when he thought of his hand along her stomach, his heart alighted the damn thing betraying him. Her skin was supple, smooth and pleasant to touch. There was something attractive about a woman that could hold her own. Humans and simple demons wouldn’t stand a chance against her. He hadn’t seen her in a year, the last visit, too intense, spawning too many emotions, many of them he didn’t have a name for. It was a year since he saw her last, he felt a calling, a need to come back and finish what he had started and something else, worry. A deep worry. He hung his head and closed his eyes, _it would be appropriate to apologize_ , his heart spoke and his brain rebelled, _this Sesshomaru does not apologize for his actions._

            Not even when they hurt.

 

She was thirteen nearly fourteen. He spent more than a year away from her since the time she had foolishly run off into the forest to fight Yokai. He knew why they came. They knew she was his. They knew the human of the great Sesshomaru lived in that village with an old woman and his hanyou brother. Inuyasha told him there were constant threats. His enemies, particularly the ogres he had cut down perfecting his meido wanted revenge. His hopes of Rin having a quiet, safe human life in Kaede’s village were for not. That was why he had sent her the katana. After he left her, he flew into the skies, away from the ground, ignoring her pleas for him to return. He flew towards his mother’s home. He landed on her steps lightly. He stalked until he found her. He hadn’t seen her since she had caused Rin’s death in hell. He still hated her for it. He loped up the red steps and stopped by his mother who lounged in her long throne chair with a bored expression on her face. Her index finger rest next to her eye. “Sesshomaru, you returned to visit your mother.”

“I did not come to visit,” he said tersely. “I have come for one of my childhood fangs.”

His mother was infuriating, she stood up and touched his chin, “for your human?” She eyed him curiously. “Come with me.” She led him further into her home, to her wing. He followed her up three flights of stairs. She opened a case that was full of fangs of varying sizes, “your yoki is powerful Sesshomaru. This one should do, you lost it when you were three,” she folded his fingers around it. “Be careful with the connections you make,” she warned him.

He left and flew to the opening of the underworld. The gates were the same as when he had left them. He drew Tenseiga proudly reveling in the power to easily go to and from the afterlife. He flew to his father’s giant grave. He rest his forehead on the nose of his father’s skull affectionately. He landed within the mouth and gazed around. Underneath a pile of bones he found a large walnut sized ruby. _Chichiue,_ he thought fondly, _you once asked me if I had someone to protect. With this ruby, protect her, the one that is dear to me._ He would never say the words out loud, that Rin meant more to him than anything.

Afterwards he moved on to the swordsmith. He flew to Totosai in the mountains that were covered in fire. The old codger sat blowing fire on a blade. “Totosai,” he said as he entered the mouth of the skeleton head.

Totosai leapt away in fear, “uh…Sesshomaru, what do you want. You already have a sword.”

“Is it possible to make a sword for a human girl? That would provide her with protection?” He handed both the ruby and the baby fang to the old man.

Totosai seemed confused at first, almost like he would refuse, then sighed and said, “come back in two months. It will be ready then.”

As soon as it was finished Sesshomaru sent the sword to Rin. Where Totosai got the idea to make the hit out of gold plating in the shape of his true form, he had no idea. He could feel the yoki latent within the sword. Totosai warned him, “she won’t know the true power of the sword until she is older, when she is ready to wield your yoki.”

In the time he was away, Sesshomaru had hoped that his distance would provide her a modicum of protection. He hoped the yokai would stop attacking, believing she no longer was of value to him. He was wrong, he was hunted down by Inuyasha who gave him what for. “She misses you. You’re hurting her more by not coming, you can’t treat Rin like this. Do you know how many people let her down in her life? She’s an orphan, she thinks of you like a father. And it isn’t helping, they’re still coming. At least it gives me a good fight,” Inuyasha tried to break the serious conversation with humor. “Come, she still needs you,” he told Sesshomaru. “No one is immune to hurt and pain, Sesshomaru,” Inuyasha went on. “She has a good life, even with the attacks on the village.”

After that, and after his anger at her for endangering herself subsided he decided it was time for he and Jaken to visit again. Inuyasha was right, she was an orphan, she had only what he had given her. “Don’t you think she has a good life there?” Jaken asked him.

He became pensive as they flew towards the village. Aun flew next to him, laden with gifts. Mostly to assuage his own conscious for staying away for so long. There were new kimonos, new tabi, new sandals and a host of other items he thought she would need.

“Life is full of hardships, she maintains her happiness despite it,” Jaken told him. “It’s not about what happens, it’s about what she does with it. This Jaken is so excited to see Rin!”

He was not far from the village when he smelled her blood. Again he wanted to howl. It smelled different somehow. He sniffed the air again and shuttered the feeling deep down into his body and in a fury crushed it. He would ask her this time, how she hurt herself.

            _Blood…her blood, why?_ He increased his speed and followed the scent until he found her by the river with a boy who looked the same age as she. Instead of making his appearance known, he slipped into a nearing tree. He leaned forward and moved a branch out of his view. He clamped Jaken’s mouth shut to keep him from talking. He wanted. He wanted to see her and the child play together. The boy was chasing Rin. She laughed. She dodged his attempts to touch her. _Tag,_ Sesshomaru knew the game well. Even young Inu-yokai played it. While she ran circles around the boy, he looked for signs of injury. He saw none, her ankles were bare and her feet exposed, but all he saw was clean white skin. Her hands and wrists were clean. His eyes flowed over her body, there were no injuries he could see, no cuts, no bruises. The blood was fresh, where could it be coming from?

            The boy grabbed Rin by the arm finally catching her, “ow,” she laughed, “let go.”

            “Come on Rin,” the boy persisted, “let’s go into the woods for a while.” He held her arm firmly. He tried to tug her further into the tree “It’ll be fun!”

            Rin was wearing a soft lavender Kimono with butterflies, and his obi was wrapped around her waist. He was pleased to see that she had not forgotten him completely. Rin tried to pull her arm away, but the boy held her tight, “no,” she responded, “let go of my arm Hideki.” Her voice was still light, full of laughter, “I need to get home. Kaede-sama will be waiting for me.”

            “Come on,” his face was dangerously close to hers, “I said come…hey didn’t you used to have a demon protector?”

            “Hideki let go,” Rin’s voice sounded more desperate and against her will he was dragging her towards the trees. “I said I would play tag, that’s it!”

            “I want to play a different game,” he said as he put his other arm on her. He reached into his Hikama and pulled out a knife, it was against her neck, “you don’t have that Yokai Lord to watch over you anymore. None of us are afraid any longer, not of you nor of those mutts children.”

            Sesshomaru’s chest vibrated with furious growls. He could smell the arousal on the pathetic boy manhandling his Rin. He dropped down from the tree, stalking like a ferocious dog towards the boy, “let her go.” Each word was clipped and full of authority. His hair floated in the wind, his eyes were cold. He knew this boy, he teased Rin often when she was younger. He even hit her once leaving a bruise on her cheek when she was nine.

            “Sesshomaru-sama,” Rin whispered in shock. Her eyes were wide, her mouth hung open. It was the first time he noticed the fullness of her lips. She turned around and full forced shoved the palm of her hand into Hideki’s nose, blood gushed from his wound. He held his nose howling in pain. She picked up a rock and threw it at him as he fled from her, “coward!” She yelled back at him.

            He expected her to run into his arms or smile at him. She usually bounded up to him with so much excitement that it overwhelmed him. Instead her eyes were as emotionless as his own. She glared right back at him. “I didn’t need your help,” she brushed passed him completely ignoring his presence. “Baka,” she muttered.

            He heard it. He was dumbfounded, he assumed she would have been excited, happy to see him. but instead she trudged through the mud back to the hut, leaving him shocked. _Shock_ , he put his hand to his heart, _I do not feel shock._ Instead of calling her name, Sesshomaru followed her, he would not be the first to yield.

            She turned and stopped staring at him, “why are you even here?”

            He was stunned into silence, no one spoke to him like that. What had Kaede been teaching her?

            “Rin!” Jaken protested. Sesshomaru completely forgot the green imp was even there, “how dare you talk to Sesshomaru-sama like that! Apologize at once.”

            “You thought you could just come back after what happened last time? After sending me a sword, that could feed this village for years and never saying a word? Did you think I would just run into your arms like I did as a child? I’m not a little girl anymore!” She stomped her foot at him.

            The smell of her blood was fogging his mind, her words were slicing into his soul, true she was not the child he had left.

            “And of course, you don’t say anything, because this great big Sesshomaru-sama, doesn’t apologize, never admits when he’s wrong, and sends Jaken to announce his presence like everyone should bow down and worship him!” Her voice was raising in intensity. She stormed away from him. Again.

            “Rin,” he called making to grab her arm, but was reminded how roughly that boy had treated her. “Rin, where are you hurt?” It was all he could think to say, she had twisted his own silence against him like a serpent.

            “Hurt?” Her eyes were incredulous. She folded her arms beneath her breasts. His stomach tightened, she had breasts now too?

            “Blood,” he sniffed the air again, “I smell your blood,” he said quietly.

            Out of nowhere, her eyes dilated, she covered her gaping mouth with her hand and ran off crying. He was even more confused than he had been before. He did not follow her, he was unsure if he should stay. Instead he went into the forest and found a tree to sit under and stare at the sky. He was grateful that it was a bright afternoon and the sky was clear of clouds. The air was clean, it gave his mind time to consider what had happened. He did not understand this girl that had met him. He did not understand her anger. His had subsided, why had hers not? Maybe she had made her choice and his presence was no longer necessary. _No longer necessary_ , at one point he would have given up anything including the sword his father left for him, in order to save her life. It had never occurred to Sesshomaru what role he would play in her life as she aged and relied less on him and those around her. Something felt uncomfortable in his chest. He rubbed his heart, trying to remove the uncomfortable feeling. It almost felt as if it _hurt, ridiculous this Sesshomaru does not experience hurt._

            “O-ni-sama!” He heard the Miko calling a distance from him. “Sorry for finding you,” Kagome bowed her head in respect, her stomach was just beginning to show the signs of life.

He was surprised, they already had two boys that had come in quick succession. Sota was born barely seven months after she returned from the well and another boy he hadn’t learned the name of after that.

            “I could sense that you were here,” she knelt down next to him, “you must forgive Rin-chan she was so upset when you left last time. Her affect hardened when you failed to return. Also…” Kagome put a finger on her lips, he could tell she was thinking of how to word something to him.

            “Where is she hurt?” His voice was harsh. He turned his gaze to stare at Kagome.

            “She isn’t hurt Sesshomaru-sama. She has become a woman. You’re going to have to learn not say you smell her blood when she cycles.”

“Cycles?” Sesshomaru arched an eyebrow, “explain.”

“Well, um, do female Inu-yokai have cycles?”

He couldn’t answer, he still had no idea what she was talking about.

“Okay,” she laced her hands over her small bump, “how do you know a female is ready to have a baby?”

“Rin is in heat?” He thought he would lose the raw boar meat he had eaten earlier. “She wishes to mate with someone?” He suddenly had a flash of Rin naked with someone, he forced the thought out of his head, surely she was too young for that.

“No!” Kagome rubbed her temples, “heat, your females go into heat? You call it mating? Like dogs? Well you are a dog demon. I suppose that makes sense. No she isn’t in heat. Humans have cycles. The womb, do you even know about anatomy in this time?” She waited for him to say something, “okay, look in human females, probably female inu-yokai too, there is an organ, a part of the body called, the womb. It’s a muscle like tissue, it’s where babies grow. You can probably tell mine is growing, oh the baby is moving do you want to feel it?”

He continued staring at her.

“Okay, anyway, there is tissue around the womb that fills with blood. Once a month it sheds, and for five to seven days we bleed, I’m guessing you can figure out on your own where it comes out of.”

“Her opening?” He supplied easily.

“That’s one way of saying it, I would have just said vagina,” Kagome laughed, “yes it comes from her opening. Seriously you can’t say you smelled it. You embarrassed her. That’s why the boys bother her. Before, when you came more often they were terrified of her, afraid of what you would do to them. But when you stopped coming, some were kind and wanted to walk her home, but others had their own intentions.” Kagome’s stomach shook as he glared at her. “It’s no wonder, Rin-chan is a beautiful girl in body and spirit, one day she will make a fine wife, and mother.”

            The great Sesshomaru-sama enjoyed making humans scared with just a look. It was his turn to start, he ensured his face was turned away when his eyes widened only slightly at the thought, one day Rin would be old enough to marry and what would he do then? She would begin a life of her own, and would that life include him? Would it need to? He had never thought beyond her childhood to what her future would hold. Already she was becoming independent perhaps too much so. Would he allow a man to take her to his bed? The thought sickened him.

He stood up preparing to walk away when he heard a child calling in the distance.

            “Haha-ue!” The child sounded upset. He was one of Inuyasha’s spawn. He had short silver hair, and as Sesshomaru saw him come closer he noticed the same moon on the child’s forehead that was on his own. “Haha-ue, it’s Rin-chan. Hideki and his friends threw Taishao into the river, Rin-chan jumped after him. Chichue is losing their scent. I tried sankantesou to stop them, but I couldn’t manage it this time!”

            Sesshomaru stood quickly, he grabbed Kagome around the waist just above the growing spawn in her stomach with one hand and the child with the moon painting on his brow in the other. He could smell the river in the distance. He created the white orb of light that allowed him to fly faster. Within seconds he deposited Kagome next to the river and Sota. He saw Inuyasha running by the river. “Bastard, you lost her again!” He shouted at his hanyou brother.

            “Shut up and help me baka!” Inuyasha jumped onto a stone in the river and continued running down stream.

            _She must be in the water._ Sesshomaru returned to a flash of light and leapt into the water.

            “To-san! Save me!” A small voice came from the river bank, he was holding desperately to a branch. Sesshomaru picked the black haired child up and put him on the bank. The child’s eyes and hair were completely black as a moonless night. Sesshomaru jumped back into the water letting the current carry him. It was there he saw Rin at the bottom of the river. He grabbed her, cradled her in his arms and flew from the water onto the River bank.

            “Inuyasha!” Kagome called, “Inuyasha, get Jinenji-san, quickly. Here take Taishao, he’s freezing.” The child shook in his father’s arms.

            Sesshomaru looked at the other boy, _they named him for father._ “Rin,” he shook her shoulders.

            The Miko fell to her knees next to Rin, “help me get her to a flat surface. She isn’t breathing.”

            _She will not have another chance_ , Sesshomaru heard his mother’s voice in his head. His eyes broadened, he bore his teeth. Tensaiga would not work again. He felt a timid hand on his, “don’t worry O-ni-sama,” the Miko told him, “in my time we have something called CPR. I can try to revive her.”

            “This is possible?” He felt his stomach relax again.

            “Yes,” she grabbed her stomach and winced in pain. “Just help me, the bridge, take me to the bridge.”

            He took her and Rin in either arm and glided to the bridge. Rin looked small and helpless despite being thirteen. Her fingers and lips were blue, and her skin was cold. He watched as the Miko lay Rin’s body down. The Miko touched Rin’s neck with two fingers, “no pulse,” she glanced at Sesshomaru, “it means her heart isn’t beating. Don’t fear O-ni-sama, this will work. She wasn’t in the water long enough, you found her just in time.” She placed two hands folded over and started pumping on Rin’s chest, “one, two, three, four five…” She held Rin’s nose and he saw her move towards Rin’s mouth, “Ow,” the Miko held her stomach. He saw her take a deep breath and then blow into Rin’s mouth. Rin’s chest rose and fell. For a moment, he thought she was breathing on her own. “One, two, three, four, five.” She pumped Rin’s chest again, despite Kagome’s reassurances she still smelled of fear.

            Inuyasha was back by himself, “Taisho is fine,” he told Kagome, “I left him with Kaede-baba, she’s warming him up. How is Rin?” He knelt down next to Kagome.

            “One, two, three, four, five,” Kagome continued, each time she bent over to breathe for Rin she held her stomach in pain, “ow.”

            “Kagome let me breathe for her,” Inuyasha insisted, “we don’t need to lose another one.”

            _Another one_ …Sesshomaru thought to himself and for a moment he felt pity for his brother, _have they lost a child?_ When Inuyasha went to breathe for Rin, Sesshomaru drove one of his claws through his brother’s shoulder, “don’t touch her. Miko…show me.”

            “One, two, three, four, five,” she sat up, “tilt her head back, open her mouth holding her chin, use one hand to plug her nose, and breathe into her mouth, two breaths each time I say five.” She helped him angle Rin’s chin.

            “Kagome, you have to stop exerting yourself, the doctors in your time said you need to rest…” Inuyasha grabbed her shoulder.

            “Oswari,” she barked at him and he hit the ground. “I will not lose Rin…if only I had a defibrillator, one, two, three, four, five.” She pumped her hands against Rin’s chest.

            Sesshomaru followed what the Miko said. He breathed slowly into her mouth, watching her chest rise and fall with the flow of air from his mouth to hers.

            “One, two, three, four, five,” she said again. He breathed for her, willing life back into her body, again. “Rin, please,” the Miko’s voice was shivering, “ow,” she held her stomach.

            “Rin,” Sesshomaru shook her shoulders giving up on this breathing thing, it wasn’t working, “Rin.”

            “Breathe Sesshomaru, or I’ll do it for you!” Inuyasha punched his shoulder.

            He knelt down and placed his mouth on hers once more. The inside of her mouth was still warm, breathing for her was like a kiss. That was the only thing he could relate it to.

            Suddenly, her body convulsed, the Miko grabbed Rin by the shoulders, “quickly, on her side, the water is coming up.”

            Inuyasha grabbed Rin’s shoulders, but nearly dropped her, staring at Kagome wide eyed and scared. Sesshomaru smelled it too, “Kagome?” Inuyasha asked.

            She looked weak, “take me to the well, quickly Inuyasha. Sesshomaru take her to Kaede, she will know what to do. Don’t move her until the water comes out and she stops vomiting.” Inuyasha lifted Kagome up bridal style and leapt over the river towards goshinboku with her.

            The human body was a disgusting thing. Jaken must have heard all the noise, because he was now by Sesshomaru screaming about how the vomit was on Sesshomaru’s shoes. It wasn’t just water that came out but food. Rin was weak, he told himself. She still needed him to protect her. He would find this Hideki and kill him, if it was the same boy that had laid hands on her earlier. Rin shivered, winter was coming, her teeth chattered and she was barely conscious.

            The monk and the Taijia were nearby followed by their own growing brood of children. “Although Inuyasha protects the village, the people here find his marriage to the Miko upsetting. His children are less than half-demons but are rejected by humans. Some of the children do not appreciate what Inuyasha does for them.”

            “They will die,” he stood up holding Rin in his arms. He wrapped his tail around her for warmth. “Jaken…find the hut of this Hideki and bring him to me.”

            The monk grabbed Sesshomaru’s arm, “move,” Sesshomaru barked at him.

            “You cannot kill a human child, no matter his actions to Rin,” his eyes were dark and cold, Sesshomaru thought only he could feel that.

            “You presume to order me?” He turned angrily on the monk, daring him to lay hands on him.

            The Monk stood up, “I know in a battle I would lose, but human life is sacred I cannot allow you without a fight to harm one of the youths.”

 “Jaken,” Jaken grabbed on to Sesshomaru’s tail and they both floated towards Rin’s home. She shivered against him. Her eyes were partially glazed, she coughed against his chest. He wanted to get his armor off, he didn’t imagine it was comfortable for her to be against. He laid her on her mat in on the dirty wooden floor. Had this truly been the right choice to leave her here? Every time something happened.

            As if reading his mind Jaken offered, “Sesshomaru-sama, life is dangerous, did she not face worse danger by your side?”

            Anger welled inside of him, he reached a hand out and threw the green toad against the side of the hut. “Kaede,” he called, “Rin?”

            Kaede moved away from the child she was tending. She placed him next to the fire with a blanket. She walked over to Rin, she was getting old. Age, another weakness of humans. She came and gently moved Rin’s head from side to side. “Turn your head Sesshomaru-sama, I must check the rest of her.”

            “That is unnecessary,” he had seen Rin before, when Jaken would bathe her as a child.

            “Sesshomaru-sama,” Kaede’s voice became stern, she had never spoken to him in such a voice before, “Rin is no longer a little girl, her body has changed. If you were to see, beneath her kimono a woman’s body forms. Did you think she would remain the little girl that would dote on you forever? I need to get her out of these cold clothes. She would not appreciate you seeing her naked now.”

            Now he was uncomfortable, he walked out of the hut and sat down on the wooden porch, hoping that Rin was well. It took time, eventually he was told she was fine, her arm was broken and she was too cold. He walked back in and sat down next to Rin. He took one of the warmer blankets he had sent for her and placed it on top of her, while sliding his tail beneath the covers. He wrapped her body in his mokomoko and pulled her closer. As the night wore on, her body temperature warmed but it did not stop there, it began to rage. Her skin was burning with fever and her body shook, her teeth were chattering. Jinenji placed poultices on her chest. Sesshomaru hovered.

            In the middle of the night when nothing but Kaede’s snores filled the hut, Inuyasha returned and sat down next to his son. Sesshomaru balked at Inuyasha’s hair. It was dark and his pointed ears had moved from the top of his head to human ears on the sides. He stroked his child’s head softly. “Even I am not scary enough to protect you.” His voice was full of melancholy.

            “Inuyasha?” Sesshomaru called him.

            “What do you want?” He was annoyed.

            “So that’s why you lost their scent?” Sesshomaru wondered how he never knew about this before.

            Inuyasha said nothing.

            “You named that one after Father?” He motioned with his head towards the sleeping little boy.

            “Got a problem with that?” Inuyasha barked back. His fingers combed through the child’s hair.

            “No,” Sesshomaru replied softly. Rin shook against him.

            Inuyasha turned around shocked for once he did not have a smart retort.

            Sesshomaru was doing the same thing, he was stroking Rin’s wet brow. His heart damn the thing that it was, it hurt again. “You lost a child?”

            Inuyasha stared at the ground and nodded, “last year, a girl.”

            “You did not think to send for me?” Sesshomaru touched the hilt of Tenseiga.

            “Tenseiga wouldn’t have saved her. She was too young to be born, we buried her behind our hut.”

            “You allow those children to disrespect you too much.”

            “Taishao can’t help it,” it was clear Inuyasha was shocked that his brother was even attempting a civil conversation, “you see his black hair?” Inuyasha held up one of the child’s small hands, “no claws. You wouldn’t know he was a quarter Yokai. Sota already is showing signs of having some strength, he threw blades of blood at me the other day in a fit, but Taishao, he is more human. He wouldn’t be here if not for Rin. She was able to grab him and pull him to the bank before the current took her under. She is stronger than you think Sesshomaru.”

            Sesshomaru nodded and returned his attention to Rin. _Rin…hang on._ He glanced at Inuyasha for a moment before he allowed his body to curl against Rin’s. He rest his palm on her forehead, “you’re so hot,” he whispered in her ear.

By morning Kaede sat down next to him and whispered as she tried to pour a putrid smelling drink into Rin’s mouth. Rin was still burning and her breathing was shallow, and hoarse. “Sesshomaru-sama, you should consider saying good-bye to Rin.”

            “What?” he turned furiously.

            “She is not breathing well, her heartbeat is slowing. She is very unwell. Kagome calls this aspiration pneumonia, a sickness of the lungs when water gets into them. We can try to make her as comfortable as possible, but she may not last,” Kaede attempted to touch his hand.

            “I don’t need your sympathy,” he knelt down and picked Rin up. He took the obi he had given her and placed it in her hands. He wrapped her in a yellow blanket. “Jaken stay here.” He barked at the imp who was half awake in the corner of the hut.

            “You shouldn’t move her,” Kaede warned, “it could make her sicker!”

            “What is worse than death? Move out of my way,” he threatened. His heart was heavy, his chest was constricted, he felt as if he himself could not breathe. He disappeared in white light and found his way back to a place where his memories of her were the happiest, the field of daisies. Rin had said it was like walking in a field of gold and danced happily. It was the place where he had let her ride his back in his true form, something silly to allow a human to do, but allowed he did. He sat down under a sakura tree, holding her close to his chest, willing her to live. “Rin,” his lips touched her ear, “wake up,” it was as if he was begging her. “Rin,” he tousled her. Her head flopped from side to side, her eyes remained closed.

            It was no use, her body was boiling. She was shaking and for once he felt truly helpless. There was no enemy that Bakusaiga couldn’t cut and Tenseiga could not revive her again. He stroked sweat soaked brow. It stunk like sickness but he couldn’t let her go, not yet. He had once said that nothing was worth her life. It wasn’t. _Humans say good-bye to the living,_ he scoffed. “Rin,” he spoke in her ear, “I will not say good-bye, I will see you on the other side.” _If she is to die, she will die in the place where she was the happiest. I will bury under the sakura tree._

            He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to overtake him. Hours later, he felt something squirming against his chest, coughing. He looked down and he saw two large eyes staring back at him, “Sesshomaru-sama?” He reached a hand out to hold hers, “I’m thirsty.”

            He had forgotten water but knew where a river was nearby. He gathered her back into his arms, ensuring that she was wrapped tightly. He flew to the nearing river. He found an area where the waters were calm. He sat cross legged with Rin in his lap next to the swirling eddies. He used his hands to cup the water and bring it to her mouth. She lapped it from his hand. He brought another handful to her mouth. She coughed again, the noise shook her sides. “Where?” She rasped.    

            “Try not to speak,” he warned as he let her lean against his chest. He had already removed his armor and swords, to hold her closer. She held onto the opening of his haori. He could still smell this cycling blood that Kagome had mentioned. Her head flopped against his chest.

            “You,” she coughed, the fit rocked her body, she could barely catch her breath, “you cried,” she stuttered.

            “This Sesshomaru-sama does not cry,” he stared at her seriously. That wasn’t entirely true, he spent the evening praying to some unseen power that her life would be spared. He willed her body to heal, feeling like his heart was draining in the process.

            “I’m sorry,” her voice was weak and immediately followed by another coughing fit.

            “Rin, you mustn’t speak,” he pushed her wet hair from her face.

            She raised an eyebrow at him and somehow, he knew what she was saying. He rolled his eyes, “If I must,” he found a tree for them to lean against. “Which one?”

            “The truth,” she rasped, “about me.” His stomach pitched, he had never told her how he found her. How Tenseiga had revived her, and that it could never be used to save her life again. “Rin, remember the day you found me,” he began, if she had the bravery to jump into the river after a child, he would have the same and tell her a truth he had kept hidden.

            When he finished she was still awake, “you can’t bring me back again?” She sneezed into his mokomoko.

            “No, you must always remember, to cherish the life I gave you,” he nuzzled the top of her head.

            “That tickles,” she giggled then laughed again. “Sesshomaru-sama?”

            “What?” He asked her.

            “I’m cold and tired,” she said. He felt like she wanted to say something else. He wrapped her into his mokomoko. He let the fluff cradle her feet and her body. “Sesshomaru-sama?”

            “What?”

            “Thank you, for coming back. I missed you,” she said innocently. “Can I hug you?”

            He nodded. She wrapped her thin arms around his waist and squeezed him. Her arms had gotten stronger. He returned the gesture, and rest his chin on the top of her head, “sleep Rin.”

            “Stay with me? Please?” She nuzzled her nose into his neck.

            He didn’t answer. If he had he would have said, _forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Read and Review and share on your social media platforms. I don't remember if I put chapters up this week, it's been crazy.


	8. The Fullmoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter, that and the last one. It answers my unending question, what will Sesshomaru do when he sees Rin engage intimately with a man. Will he let her go? Or will he act on his impulses.

Fear wafted into his nose. Her fear. He could practically taste the sweat budding down her arms. Sesshomaru watched curiously as Rin tied her hair back and then removed the obi he had given her so many years before. She used it to ensure her hair would remain back. Something happened, it was almost as if he could sense her affect changing. The smell in the air was transforming from trepidation to confidence. He heard his voice, on the day it was given, _my strength is your strength._ The sword pulsed at her side, but she didn’t notice it. He watched as the filthy bear snarled at her. Sesshomaru heard him order her to leave her weapons. She shoved the katana that he had given her into the ground. _I will follow._ He was angry watching her so foolishly put it aside, did she not understand the gift he had given her?

            As Rin walked into the cave with the Bear Yokai, Sesshomaru followed. He stepped out of the crop of pisceas he was hiding behind. He walked quietly towards the entrance to the cave. His feet crunched the leaves, autumn would be coming soon. Her scent was oddly disappearing. He strode faster. Just as his foot tapped the mouth of the cave it was repelled with such force he was nearly thrown backwards. He reached his hand out and touched the barrier. His fingers tingled from the repulsion power. He tried dokkasu, but it didn’t move the barrier. He removed Bakusaiga and slashed angrily at the barrier. Fear, this emotion he knew, it was the feeling he had when he searched for her in Naraku’s body. He felt it when she was kidnapped by the band of seven, when she ran into the forest to help fend off demons attacking the forest. He knew it well. Rin was walking into a trap. He allowed it knowing that at any point he could remove her from the situation. However, the barrier wouldn’t budge and now she was in the cave alone with a Yokai and without the katana he had given her. His fury let loose. He beat at the rocks, at the barrier, at the side of the mountain. Wherever he made a hole, a barrier  remained. He yelled in fury at the mountain for not moving, _why did I let her go? Why?_

 

            A distance away from the mountain, Kagome rode Inuyasha’s back through the forest, while Sango and Miroku kept up on horseback. Their brown and black horses were lathered in sweat. The hot summer sun beat down on them creating a sheen of sweat on Kagome’s face.

“Inuyasha stop,” Kagome got down from his back, her face was pale, “Shikon no Tama? How?” The sensation was tingling the back of spine, the same way the Shikon No Tama did.

            “We destroyed it,” Inuyasha knelt down, “hurry up, back on.”

            “It’s something, or something close to it, towards the mountain hurry.” Kagome urged him as she climbed back onto his back. “Am I heavier than when I was fifteen?”

            Inuyasha pinched her backside in response.

            “Hey!” She flexed her legs. “Am I heavier?” She whispered in his ear.

            “No,” he ran his hand up the inside of her thigh, “more beautiful though. Sesshomaru’s scent is towards the mountain,” Inuyasha pointed to the mountain known as Green and Blue, because of the blue flowers and green grasses the grew around it. “We don’t have time to let the horses rest,” he leapt higher into the air and drove himself further forward.

            “Something more is going on than just a simple kidnapping,” Miroku got down from his horse. He removed the saddle and bridle and slapped the horses bottom. “Sango, on my back,” he offered.

            “I can keep up, I may have had four children but I can still keep up,” she raced after them.

            “It’s a trap,” Kagome said worried, “why didn’t she ask us for help?”

            “Yes, but for who?” Inuyasha replied just as worried, “if anything happens to her he is going to kill us.” He raced forward feet pounding against the ground. He followed Kagome’s directions, somewhere higher up in the middle of the mountain was something that was similar to the Shikon no Tama. At the base of the mountain Sesshomaru fought mercilessly with a barrier that would not break, he had brought down part of the mountain side but at each point where the cave was exposed the magenta, sinister barrier remained. “Sesshomaru!” Inuyasha called.

           

            The cave was cold and damp. The further she was brought in the harder it was to breathe. Rin was no longer scared, she looked back on her life and she knew that she was strong. Sesshomaru-sama had taught her to trust her instincts, Kaede had taught her wisdom, Inuyasha taught her courage, Sango and Kagome taught her kindness and friendship, and Miroku taught her to laugh. Kohaku was her best friend, she cherished those moments they had spent together, especially in the beginning when those in the village did not show her kindness. They thought she was strange because she had lived with a dai-yokai who came to visit her. Her skin became hot thinking of him. _When did this happen?_ She rebuked herself as she followed the bear up the winding pathway. Her legs were in good shape but after a time they began to burn. “Where are you taking me?”

            “To Kohaku of course,” it roared as it lumbered up the winding pathway.

            Her stomach had a sickening feeling. There was an evil presence here, something stronger than just the bear. It was gathering, the aura made her want to vomit. “You aren’t here alone…” She glared at the bear, “you came with someone!”

            The bear began laughing hysterically, “of course! Did you think this whole thing was for nothing?” He swung at her with his gigantic paw, she jumped backwards, turned in the air and kicked the bear in the head. The bear rose onto it’s back legs. It was double Rin’s height. _Get it stand,_ she heard his voice in her head. The bear swung again and she ducked, “you’re a feisty thing,” it lurched at her again. She flipped backwards away from the attacking bear.

            She set her feet firmly against the stone ground and waited for the bear yokai to rush her again. “You will regret this!” She yelled, the bear swiped again this time faster than she could dodge. The claws dug into her left arm, she winced in pain. In that moment she lost control of the battle, the bear swiped her face leaving a gash, it hit her in the stomach where she wore armor, she fell to the ground with blood in her mouth. Where was he? Rin panted on the ground. She rolled out of the way of another blow. She could taste the blood on her tongue. She pushed herself off the ground and leapt into the air again. Her heart began to pound.

            “I can smell your fear,” the Bear demon kicked her in the stomach, she rolled backwards. “I can taste your pain,” he picked her up by the hair exposing her neck, “and soon I will drink your blood! Sesshomaru will not come for you.”

            _Rin, my strength is your strength._ She could hear his voice again, as if he was standing next to her. The katana? She wondered. She held her scabbard in her uninjured arm, she used it to hit the bear in the face as hard as she could. The bear roared in pain dropping her on the ground. She landed kneeling down and held it out behind her. _My strength is your strength,_ his voice was in her ears. _Rin hold out the scabbard._ It was like the scabbard was vibrating in her hand. She stared down the cave, was he coming? Or was it the sword, _I can do this,_ she told herself, _I can do this, I’m strong!_

 

            Sesshomaru beat at the barrier bellowing as he did. It was as if he would go mad. He didn’t even notice Inuyasha behind him with Miroku, Sango and Kagome. He struck the barrier over and over, only to see the magenta reflection barely bend and then throw him backwards. Sesshomaru swiped at it with his claws before yelling in frustration. _She will have to fight on her own, Rin, my strength is your strength, use my strength, call the sword,_ his eyes were glowing red. His mind raced in a whirlwind of emotions, she was no longer the child he found in the forest, wounded and cold with death. She was not the little girl that skipped around his ankles, and he cursed himself for not seeing it before not even a year ago, not even when she was able to defeat an ogre alone. What happened then, had stopped him from seeing her for a year.

 

            The visits were becoming more painful, the fights more often. Rin was growing in size and beauty. She stood as tall as his shoulder and she flushed red when she looked at him. Then her scent started spiking. It was only slightly different than when a demoness was aroused. _She’s aroused by this Sesshomaru?_ Rin never said anything about it, Sesshomaru refused to acknowledge what the smell did to him. Then there was the time she had jumped off the roof of Kaede’s house in the middle of winter and kissed his lips. She said it was a dare, he didn’t entirely believe it. The time they went flying together, his hands sweat and his breath caught, her body was hard, contoured and no longer a child. He had been told many times by Sango, Kagome and Kaede that Rin was old enough to marry. He knew that Kohaku was interested in Rin more than a friend. He spent more time in the village, he had seen the two holding hands, he told himself he accepted their relationship. The blushing and fast heartbeat whenever she saw him continued, he couldn’t understand it. Yet, she said nothing to him of it.

The full moon was coming. He was coming for her birthday, sentimental, it was beneath him to do such a thing. the Miko had convinced Rin they should be celebrated. Rin didn’t know when hers was, she asked him when they met, and chose the date based off that.

            The month before he witnessed her stumbling out to meet him on sore and blistered feet after helping with a birthing. He didn’t like that she could barely walk. Or that her hands were coarse, that she was exhausted and stayed to speak with him anyway. He decided to buy her a horse. He came two weeks previously and it ended in a word battle again. She wreaked of demon blood, and he wanted to know why, she refused to tell him, and there were no answers from anyone else. He sent her the sword when she was twelve for protection, to ensure that if she ever did anything so foolish as to run into the forest and run into a Yokai again she wouldn’t be helpless.

“Jaken,” he called, “take the horse to Kaede’s hut, I go ahead.” He disappeared into a ball of white light.

            He landed in the middle of the forest following Rin’s scent. He saw her walking through the forest near the village. She had a three-year-old on her back, Kohaku walked with her. He chose like he often did to not make his presence known. He wanted a chance to see what her life was like when he was not there. Rin was picking at a flower in her hands, behind them followed the hanyou’s two other children. So, he had three now. Kohaku also had a baby on his back with three more children trailing him. Rin looked different, she had not gained in height since he last saw her but her muscles were harder, her hair was tied into a tight braid. She had a knife under one of her wrists. Kohaku was dressed as a Taijia, which was no surprise. That was his life. He continued to make a living slaying rogue demons.

            “Rin-san,” Sota, the one with the moon on his forehead and white hair, took her hand, “I smell something.”

            “What Sota-chan?” She knelt down and ruffled his silver hair, the child had grown fangs similar to his own.

            Sesshomaru smelled the air, Yokai. The ground began to shake and the trees trembled. Rin bent over and took the child that was on her back off, “take Izayoi, quickly, run back to the village.” She drew the sword in her hand. This time, Sesshomaru did not rush forward as he had in the past as the large ogre came out of the forest. Kohaku also sent the children running. Sesshomaru moved to block the path the children had fled down, but kept his presence hidden.

            “You girl,” the ogre called, “you are the one the inu-yokai pays so much attention to! You will taste good in my stomach!” It called as it reached for Rin, she leapt backwards as its’ hand crushed into the forest floor. It screamed as the blade made contact.

            Rin was laughing, “can I take this one Kohaku?” Sesshomaru was confused, what was she laughing about? He had to get closer to watch. He flew into the bough of a tree, hidden behind some leaves.

            “Go ahead,” Kohaku backed away, “let me know if you need me.”

            “I don’t understand you ogres, you know if you kill me Sesshomaru-sama will make you,” she jumped out of the way of the demon again, “pay,” she threw the knife at the demon’s neck, “with,” she jumped into Kohaku’s arms, he used his hands to throw her into the air, she spun around and in one solid motion  severed the ogre’s head, “with your life.” She landed gracefully onto the ground not before she was splattered with the demon’s blood exploding from its’ neck. She and Kohaku were both soaking, “ewwww! I hate these things, they always do this.”

            Sesshomaru was lost for words. So, this was why she constantly had the smell of demons on her, foreign fleas that plagued his sensitive nose. He had never seen her so strong or so in control of herself. She was fearless, she didn’t blink, or flinch when it came to be taking on something so much larger than herself. She exuded confidence, in the way she stood. Sesshomaru felt himself aroused, the feeling shocked him. Need filled him staring at her, watching her walk to Kohaku on legs that were defined with muscles, with blood from her hunt covering her arms. He licked his lips.

“Good job Rin, if Sesshomaru-sama saw it he would be proud of you.” Kohaku beamed at Rin.

            Was that what he felt watching her? Pride? She had cut the demon down quickly and protected the small children that were with her. Rin’s face immediately fell to the ground, “no he wouldn’t, he would just get mad and bark about how his hanyou brother should keep me in the village safe.” She wiped her blade with a cloth and sheathed it, “he doesn’t see me.”

            _Is this what you think of me Rin? That I don’t see you?_ He clenched his hands, had he not just seen her slay a demon? Did she think so little of him?

            Kohaku put a comforting hand on her shoulder, he was tall now, with broad shoulders, no longer a boy now a man. “Does it help that I do?” He said. That hand went from her shoulder to around her waist, with fingers that danced up ribs very close to her breasts.

            _Fury…_ Sesshomaru knew this feeling, the one that gave him strength in battle. Kohaku bent over and kissed Rin on the lips and it wasn’t a kiss from a brother to a sister, it was a deep kiss, that included a hand running up her chest to cup her chin. Sesshomaru had to stifle a growl in his throat. “Come on,” she took Kohaku’s hand, “let’s check the children and then I need to wash myself in the river, before his royal highness comes. Last time I smelled like demons, I thought he was going to kill everyone in his path.”

            He followed them as they walked together holding hands. They checked the children and told their mothers what had happened. Rin was happy, she was smiling, she smiled so little around him now, but Kohaku made her smile. They were laughing and joking. They walked together to a lake and she proceeded to remove her clothes. If fury described him before, he was unsure how much more he could take. Kohaku was with his Rin, taking his own clothes off. Is that what Kohaku had been doing with Rin? Had he been sleeping with her, and said nothing to him? How could his nose have missed that? He practically tripped over a log trying to see what they were doing.

            Rin went into the lake water first, Kohaku followed after her, completely naked, looking entirely too aroused and excited to be so close to Rin. _Is she going to sleep with him? Have they been sleeping together? Is she in heat?_ His thoughts beat him. Kohaku tickled her sides and dunked her under the water. She fought back, and laughed at him, her eyes were bright. The sun was setting. “He didn’t come yet,” Rin splashed Kohaku in the face. “Either way I’m sure that I don’t wreak of blood anymore. Ah!” Kohaku pulled her under his body.

            She beat at his hands, and bobbed back up in the lake water. He pulled her into a tight embrace, their lips met again. _Did she just moan!?_ Sesshomaru felt like he might lose his composure completely. His fingers danced along Bakusaiga’s hilt…he could do it, he could kill Kohaku for touching Rin. When they came out of the lake, Sesshomaru could see the hunger on Kohaku’s face and elsewhere. He made no attempt to cover his eyes while she put on the inner layer of her short kimono and sat on a large rock. Sesshomaru was shaking. When Kohaku sat next to Rin, and began kissing her passionately again, Sesshomaru stepped out from the bushes.

            The moon was full, her body was full in the light, but he couldn’t stand the idea of anyone touching Rin. “Rin,” he called.

            They separated from each other, shocked. Kohaku ran his hand through his hair, “Sesshomaru-sama…” The boy was terrified. He shook as he scooted away from Rin.

            “Sesshomaru-sama,” Rin made an effort to cover body. She was in a white haori that was wet from her skin. “I…” She crossed her hands over her breasts.

            “Kohaku, leave,” Sesshomaru commanded.

            “Hai,” he immediately turned and ran. Sesshomaru was entertained by this, he still held fear over the child.

            “Kohaku wait!” Rin almost ran after him, Sesshomaru caught her by the arm and his gaze, the anger inside of him, was it anger? “Let go of me.” She attempted yet feebly to remove her arm from his grasp, a human fighting the great Sesshomaru. Tears formed on the edge of her eyes, “you’re hurting me,” she grasped his hand with her other hand, “why are you always so angry with me? It’s like you don’t want me around anymore, like you hate me! Let me go,” she beat at his hand.

            _This feeling, what is this feeling._ His heart hurt, his chest felt tight, but he felt the nerves in his back coming alive, he was angered, her heart was beating faster, he could see the outline of her breasts through the wet white haori. He stared at her, his eyes trying to understand, she was furious. He was drawn to her, but he didn’t understand why.

            She beat at him again, “let me go,” she tried to rip her arm away, “if you hate me so much why do you keep following me? Why don’t you let me go? I’ll never ask you to come again, I’ll…” He cut her off by using his other hand to pull her face towards his, he grabbed the back of her hair and pulled it back and smelled her neck, her scent called to him, intoxicated him, hypnotized him. It was like he was drugged, she was aroused, he felt his a vortex forming in his heart. He released her hair, his fingers slid behind her neck, he pulled her face closer to his own, and buried her lips in his. She pushed against his chest, her fists beat at his armor. He refused to release her, she tasted like roses that had just met the morning dew. He kissed her deeply until felt the bundle of nerves in his back spread through his stomach. She fought him at first, but then her mouth moved in sync with his, slow at first but then more passionate. He used his other hand to cup her chin and kissed her neck as she ran her hands through his hair.

            He followed the curve of her neck kissing it slowly and deeply, feeling her waist with his hands until his hand rested above the split in her haori by her breast. He moved aside the material watching her eyes, her scent was that of panic, but also pleasure. He stared at her bare breast in the moonlight, _is this what I was so angry…no jealous, that someone else would have her first._ His thumb ran over her nipple, making it harden. His mouth covered the tip of her breast, she moaned. He used his other hand to unclip his armor and threw it aside. He removed his obi and cast aside the two swords he carried, he wanted to feel her against his own skin. He tossed off his haori and his inner layer. Rin’s heart was racing.

            He pulled her to his bare chest and slowly traced her stomach down to her hips with open mouthed kisses. He pulled one of her legs around his waist and found the warm treasure within. He ran his clawed fingers down her hip, under the material of her kimono, across her buttocks. She moaned again. He ran his fingers along the inside of her thigh until he found her opening. Her eyes shot open as he inserted two fingers inside her, her breathing was labored and the smell of panic increased, he could feel the barrier with his fingers, the mark that no other had been there before him. It invigorated him. Her hand grabbed his wrist, he was hardened by her smell and her touch, “Sesshomaru-sama,” she moaned when he stroked the fire that was outside her with his thumb while toying with her inside, “why are your eyes red?”

            The words came crashing down on him, it was like waking form a dream. He stumbled away from her shocked, her smell covered him, and his her. He was panting, trying to regain control. He felt his heart in his chest pounding the blood rushing down telling him to finish what he started. Her hand on his bare shoulder made him flinch, “are you even going to say anything to me after that?” She retied her under garment to cover herself.

            Sesshomaru couldn’t look at her, he was embarrassed, ashamed, and feared that if he did, he would not be able to stop himself again. _Jealous, this Sesshomaru was jealous of a human boy._ “Rin, leave,” he was still panting, he lashed out at the nearest tree hearing her yip in fear. He gripped a nearing rock in his claws holding them for dear life.

            “You were jealous, weren’t you?” Why did she have to persist? The smell in the air changed, the arousing smell that was there before was replaced with salty tears, he heard her behind him crying. “You won’t even look at me?” She was sobbing, “Sesshomaru-sama I lo…”

            “No Rin,” he barked, he needed her to leave. He was hanging on by a very thin thread, “I can’t give you what you want of me.” _I won’t._ Oh, but how she called to him, how he wanted her.

            “You mean you won’t? Because if you had and a child was conceived they would be a filthy hanyou like Inuyasha? Or because I’m still a child that needs rescuing?” He felt the warmth of her hand on his shoulder. He flinched equally aroused by the touch and hurt as if it stung him, “Sesshomaru-sama, if you won’t give me this, would you deny every other man too?” She coughed through her cries, “would you ask me to spend the rest of my life alone?”

            He hung his head he knew she was right. Rin deserved happiness. She deserved to have a relationship with a man. She deserved to be loved.

            “You really aren’t going to talk to me, are you?” He heard her walking away, she stopped for a moment, _the moon, it’s full, if I keep looking at the moon._ The fire inside of him did not die down. “I assume you are going to leave now. I’ll understand if you don’t ever come back Sesshomaru-sama. Thank you, for everything,” if she had been sobbing before, he knew there would be a river of tears now and if he tried to comfort them, then he would fall back into her embrace and risk losing himself in a human, risk becoming his father. He tried to ignore her padding feet running off and then the fighting in the distance. Kohaku had seen them together. He yelled at her for allowing Sesshomaru so close to her, when she had denied all his advances.

            He kept his feet planted firmly in the soft mud around the lake. He kept breathing, urging his fire to die down. This was Rin, this wasn’t a demoness, but his heart ached, his heart had never hurt, or yearned before. He touched his chest with the tips of his two fingers, _she couldn’t have. This instinct, this need…_ he knew what was it was then, he wanted to bind himself to her. His eyes shot open again, _she’s a child._ He told himself, _how could she bring this need out of me?_

            Only moments later, he could smell his brother behind him. “Draw your sword Sesshomaru!” Inuyasha yelled at him, “why are you half naked? You reek of Rin, she just ran past me smelling like you.” Inuyasha hit him in the arm with the side of Tetsusaiga, “hey your eyes are red…you didn’t.”

            Sesshomaru gathered his strength and fueled his rage into smacking his brother as far away as he could. “Shut-up Inuyasha, it’s none of your business.”

            “Really after all the all times you pummeled me when something happened to her? It’s none of my business? If it’s my job to protect her, I’ll protect her against jerks like you too!” He threw Inuyasha on the floor again before he disappeared.


	9. Hebisaiga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The swords name means snake fang.

Sesshomaru stood at the base of the cave. He ceased beating at the barrier. He could feel her calling for him. It was the strangest sensation. It was almost as if the sensation had words. Her voice was practically screaming inside of his head. She was in danger. His eyes darted to the sword, it was shaking in the ground. The white tooth shaped blade vibrated. _She’s done it._ “Awaken Hebisaiga,” he called to the sword. _Awaken, go to her, save her._ He gripped the wall of the cave, he felt his own yoki rising in the sword.

            “Sesshomaru move, I’ll break the barrier!” Inuyasha ran up behind Sesshomaru. He slid to stop digging his toes into the dirt, leaving claw marks.

            Before he could, all eyes moved to the angry golden dog hilt, the sword gleamed green, similar to the light of Bakusaiga. The hilt changed positions, the claws reached into the air as it flew from the ground. It slammed into the barrier causing a lightning storm as the sword fought against the barrier. The ruby eyes of the dog blazed red near blinding.

            “Wait,” Sesshomaru held his arm up. He could sense it the katana was going to break through the barrier.

            “That’s Rin-chan’s katana!” Sango gasped. She had her Hiraikotsu slung over her shoulder ready to break the barrier. “What is doing?”

            Finally, the sword broke through the barrier, in a rush it flew up the tunnel casting a green glow as it did against the brown walls of the castle. Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango and Kagome ran after it.

            “Oi, Sesshomaru, what did you do to that sword?” Inuyasha yelled as they ran up the twisting path.

            “Do not ask Inuyasha, see the might of Hebisaiga, made from the rubies from my father’s grave and smelted from the fang of the great Sesshomaru. She calls the sword, it has awaken,” Sesshomaru flew into the air. He didn’t need the glow of the sword to find her, her blood was in the air. So was his, in the distance he could hear Kohaku screaming in pain.  

            “So arrogant,” Miroku rolled his eyes as they all ran up the winding path.

            “Neh, Inuyasha, why didn’t you ever have Totosai make a sword for me!” Kagome scolded him as she ran next to him up the harsh terrain.

            “You use a bow,” he laughed.

            “Where is Sesshomaru-sama?” Sango asked Inuyasha.

            “He flew ahead, I can smell Rin’s blood. Kohaku is somewhere near the top, he’s hurt, or hurting,” he glanced back at Sango, “we have to hurry.”

 

            Rin felt her hand vibrating, she felt something flying towards it. The bear demon was about to clench down on her neck when she felt the sword in her hand. With the cry of a battle-hardened warrior she swung the sword out of the sheathe at the bear. Out of the sword flew a green light. A whip that lit meters into the corridor. It pierced the hide of the bear demon. It screamed in pain. The blow was not enough to kill it. Instead its’ eyes turned red in fury. It howled as its body swelled with height in the cave. During the seconds the whip lit the cave, Rin saw what was before her. The path ended several meters up. High above her, Kohaku was suspended by the arms and legs with thick ropes that glowed magenta. “Kohaku!” She screamed, he was almost out of sight, a purple barrier blocked the way.

            Rin’s eyes widened, when she took in the sight of the bear Yokai, “I have to stop it before it transforms all the way!” She took the powder from her Haori and threw it at the bears face, the container broke, the bear demon growled in pain. She would have the advantage no matter how big it was. The bear swung blindly at her face, she rolled scraping her knee on the ground. It slammed it’s paw down, she jumped out of the way. Rin’s hand was shaking with the power of the yoki from the sword. _The whip, how did I release the whip? It looked like Sesshomaru-sama’s!_

            She swung the sword again, it vibrated in her hand, sizzling against her skin. It slammed into the cheek of the bear, knocking it over. In anger, it howled. It opened its’ mouth and vomited hordes of large brown bears. _Not again, not again!_ _I can’t fight them both…my strength is your strength. I can do this_. She told herself _,_ she raised the sword one more time and swung it with all her might, an even larger whip came out eliminating the first wave of bears. The mother bear spewed more. She jumped on the wall, leapt over the next wave and focused her attention on the growing bear. The bear swung its’ arms wildly, the next thing Rin knew was that she was flying through the air, her back crashed against the wall of the other end of the cavern. Pain to flushed through her body, she screamed, then fell. The path was winding, there was no middle, and it ended hundreds of feet below where Rin was falling.

 

            Sesshomaru rushed forward. He could smell the bear, hear it laughing. He did not need to follow the path he could smell Rin’s blood. He flew into the air until he felt something tight wrap around his leg, it tugged harder than he expected at first almost pulling him down. A green glow snaked around his ankle and clinging desperately to the hilt of the sword was Rin. He quickly flew back down and wrapped his arms around her waist. The warmth felt familiar, his mouth was pressed into her neck, her scent…he flew back up to the corridor, _I’ve missed her scent, bravery, strength of heart. She’s mine._ The thought startled him as he landed on the patheway. Carefully Sesshomaru set her down on the path, “Rin, are you alright?”

            She held the sword he had gifted her in one hand and her side in the other, “yes.” She fell against the wall, leaning on it heavily, pushing away the pain she felt in her back. He caught her before she hit the floor. Sango knelt down by Rin. Kagome rushed ahead at the bears charging them, she sent holy arrow after arrow at them taking them down one by one.

            “Sankan Tesou!” Inuyasha yelled leaping into the air and hacking away at the rest of them.

            “Rin, are you injured?” Sango helped her stand.

            Rin shook her head, “I’m fine,” she pushed herself up.

            “Oi, Sesshomaru get rid of these pests, Kaze no Kizu will bring the mountain down on us!” Inuyasha clawed at the never ending sea of bears coming at them.

            Sesshomaru stood up, he pulled the white handled Bakusaiga from its sheathe, “Bakusaiga!” He yelled. Green energy released like waves of lightening from his katana. The bears sizzled in his power and were reduced to nothing to pieces. He sent another wave at the mother bear, ending her life before she could finish transforming. The cave became dark and dank. The only light emanated from above from the pale magenta ropes that held Kohaku. He immediately looked up towards the barrier.

            “Wait Sesshomaru-sama,” Rin called him. He turned to her, she looked exhausted, her face was cut and bleeding, so was her arm. Sesshomaru touched his own arm, he could almost feel her pain. “Take me with you,” she limped towards him.

            “You’re injured, stay behind, “ he dismissed her turning back towards the barrier above. He hated to admit it, Kohaku still held a soft spot in his heart. For the few weeks the boy traveled in his company and cared for Rin, Sesshomaru still felt a primal need to protect the man that was suspended above, screaming in agony.

            She shook her head, “no, take me with you,” she grasped his wrist, the cave was too dark for anyone to see her thumb tenderly slide along his skin, “let me finish what I started. Don’t shame me by asking me stay back. Please, I can still fight.” Her brown eyes begged him to take her with him.

            There was no times for words, he reached a hand out to her, her pain was visible when she stood. “I cannot bring you back again should you die,” he whispered quiet enough so only she would here.

            “I know, just take me with you, please,” she leaned against him.  

            Sesshomaru knelt to the floor, much in the manner he had seen his brother do, “stay behind me. There is something more to what is happening here.” Rin held onto Sesshomaru’s shoulders. He felt the warmth of her cheek against his. Strangely it felt like it belonged there. He allowed his nose to brush against hers. Their lips sparked with electricity as the corners touched.

            “Leave it to me, I’ll break the barrier. Kongo Soha!” Inuyasha yelled, they all watched as the adamantite shards flew towards the barrier, they stopped just short. Then fell. “Damn, there’s no way up there.”

            “Ahhhh!” The sound of Kohaku screaming in pain came from the top of the cavern.

            “Kohaku!” Sango yelled. “Where is Kirara?” The cat demon would be so helpful in that moment.

            “It’s too far away for one of my arrows,” Kagome called, “Inuyasha can you get closer?” Suddenly Kagome looked up again. The bright white light that was radiating off of Kohaku’s stretched body. She knew that light, it had existed within her, within, “the light, you have to get up there now, Onisama. That’s Kikyo’s light. That’s why I sensed something similar to the Shikon No Tama. They are trying to make another one!” The faint sound of chanting could be heard radiating down the walls of the cave.

            “They are trying to make another one by taking Kikyo’s light from Kohaku!” Miroku exclaimed, “how do we get up there?” Miroku glanced around trying to find somewhere he could climb up.

            “There is no way up, this was done on purpose,” Sesshomaru grabbed the collar of Inuyasha’s haori, “you’ll have to get down without help.” He flew into the air with Rin on his back and Inuyasha kicking wildly against Sesshomaru’s grip.

            “We should look for Kirara,” Sango said, “he could have at least told us where she was. We can’t get up there without her. Let’s go, Kirara!” Sango called turning down a tunnel. Miroku followed her.

           

            Rin hugged Sesshomaru tightly. Her legs wrapped tightly around his hips, one hand held around his shoulder. He kept one hand beneath her against her bottom. She blushed when she felt his thumb slide down the inside of her thigh. Kami, he smelled amazing. She had never been close enough before to smell the curve of his hot neck. He smelled like the forest, like pine trees and freedom. A freedom she still craved.

Rin pulled herself out of thinking about how right it felt being held by Sesshomaru back to her sword. She gripped the golden dog hilt tightly in her hand. She forced herself to consider what she had just done. The whip was similar to Sesshomaru-sama’s. She had this sword for five years, never before did it do more than cut. It was sharp and deadly, but it had never flown, never thrown a whip. _What did he give me?_ She didn’t understand.  

            As they came to the magenta barrier that lit shadows on the walls of the caves, all eyes widened. Monks dressed in brown robes with golden staves surrounded Kohaku. His body was suspended by thick ropes brown ropes that glowed rose colored. What looked like pink and purple lightening entered his body and exited white. He writhed in pain. His face contorted.

“Kikyo’s light,” Rin murmured. “Sesshomaru-sama we have to help him.”

            “We will. Break the barrier Inuyasha,” Sesshomaru shook Inuyasha who was still wobbling in his grip. He picked his brother up and turned Inuyasha’s face towards him, “I will return for the Miko, if any harm comes to Rin,” he gave Inuyasha a good shake.

            “I’ll get Kohaku,” Rin primed herself. “Hurry, Inuyasha, if they take Kikyo’s light from Kohaku, he’ll die!”

            Without warning Sesshomaru threw Inuyasha towards the barrier. Tetsusaiga boiled red, he slashed down the barrier. As he fell he caught himself on the side of the cavern using his toe claws and Tetsusaiga to slow his descent. He pushed his legs off the wall to propel himself towards the monks that surrounded Kohaku. The air was full of Kohaku’s desperate pleas for help. Sesshomaru flew to the balcony and let Rin down. His eyes blazed in fury. She didn’t understand his eyes, for a moment she thought, _no it couldn’t be._ She felt something strong, an attraction, fear, concern. _No time to be distracted._ Rin took a deep breath, she jumped over one monk and landed near the ropes. She slashed at the ropes holding Kohaku. The sword was repelled.  She focused on the feeling of heat within the sword. She threw the green energy whip at the ropes. It snaked around one holding Kohaku’s arm, and was immediately repelled. “Sesshomaru-sama, quickly bring Kagome, ahhh!” She screamed. One of the monks grabbed her from behind and threw her over the railing. She flung the whip out, it flew up and looped around Kohaku’s left ankle. She dangled beneath him. “Hang on Kohaku! Sesshomaru-sama go!” Rin urged him. She felt a fury that didn’t feel like it was her own. “I’ll be okay,” she said to him, “go. Believe in me.”

            He snarled agreement then flew down to get Kagome.

            Sesshomaru returned quickly with Kagome dangling from his tail. The monks threw sutras at his face. He batted them off like fleas. He scoffed, _a waste they are not even worth the use of Bakusaiga._ Rin knew he wouldn’t use the sword, not yet. He could hit her, or anyone else. The sutras were wasted on Sesshomaru-sama. He flew over the balcony, dropped Kagome in a pile and flew leapt towards Rin, “stop, Sesshomaru-sama. Unless you want to see the girl you care so much about die before your eyes. If memory serves, if she dies, she cannot be brought back by Tenseiga again.” The lead monk came forward. His face was blackened by the shadow of his hood.

            Sesshomaru’s eyes bolted to Rin.

Rin didn’t understand what the monk meant until she looked at one of her legs, there was a sutra on it.

“One move and I will activate that sutra before you can get to her, and she will burn from the inside out,” the monk heckled.

“Dammit,” Rin shook her leg.

            “Now that everyone is here we can truly begin.” The monk’s eyes were glowing red, he had fangs and she thought she saw scales running down from his eyes. “Years ago, the Shikon No Tama was taken from this world. Now we have what we need to bring it back, we have a Miko,” he looked at Kagome, “we have enough demonic energy to power the transformation,” his eyes flashed between Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, “and we have human souls to spare. The most important human hanging over there. She will ensure the purity of the stone, before we can defile it and he carries the vast soul of the dead Miko Kikyo.”

            “Why would you need it pure before you defile it?” Rin asked them. Her muscles were getting sore in her arm. It felt like she was stretching. She tightened her grip on the sword.

            Sesshomaru had eyes only for Rin, he could tell she was getting tired, her hands were slipping. _Hebisaiga do not let her fall._ He urged her katana.

            “In order to create something so powerful the intentions have to be pure. So we sacrifice a young maiden,” the monk laughed, they all did, there were twelve of them in all, with more demons hovering above.

            _It was a trap!_ Rin cursed herself for not thinking of it sooner. She had to save everyone. They came here because of her and Kohaku. “Maiden?” She called, “you think I’m still a virgin?” She felt the dog on the hilt moving, her eyes widened as it twisted around her hand, the tail looped on one side while the paws and head looped around the top of her hand, sealing her hand to the sword. It did not stop the pain in her arms from supporting her body for so long, but she knew now she wouldn’t fall if she lost her grip. Kohaku stopped screaming, his eyes were pleading with her. “Kohaku and I have already made love,” she said confidently, her stomach blanched at the admission. _He’s going to be so angry._

            “What?” The monks voice became angry.

            “What?” Sango, Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha’s mouths fell open. Rin hadn’t even noticed that Sango and Miroku hovered near her on the back of Kirara.

            “What?” Sesshomaru’s eyes blazed as he stared at her. Rin felt flashes of jealous and rage.

            “That’s right,” Rin swung herself up and landed on top of Kohaku. She straddled his hips. She bent over and gave him the most passionate kiss she could manage. “We’ve made love every day since the full moon last month,” she boasted proudly rocking her hips against him for emphasis.

            Sesshomaru saw red. He glared at Kohaku. He was going to kill him, how dare he touch her.

            “Rin that hurts,” Kohaku flinched and then caught sight of Sesshomaru staring at him with hatred.

            “Sorry,” she whispered in his ears. She ran along the ropes that bound him and jumped onto the balcony. “I guess that ruins your ingredients.”

            The lead monk screamed in annoyance and quickly turned from a monk into a snake Yokai. Miroku ran to Rin and touched the sutra on her ankle releasing it. “Take these Rin, you are there target,” he gave her red beads to wear. “And I certainly hope you were lying, or after this, Sesshomaru-sama will have Kohaku’s head.”

            The snake demon lunged for Rin, and was immediately faced with Sesshomaru, he forced it back with his whip before he drew Bakusaiga, “no,” she grabbed his arm, “let me take this one.” Sesshomaru backed away and nodded his head half raging and the other half in acknowledgement. It was not like him but he finally understood what she had been asking for years, for him to trust her, to have faith in her. “I believe in you,” he said next to her ear.

            Rin was hit with a wave of sadness, it almost hit her core, she couldn’t understand it, why did she feel sad?  Sesshomaru flew to the ceiling and lay a fatal blow to the demons above their heads, while the rest made quick work of the monks that were turning into Snake Yokai.

Rin charged the lead monk. His head had already transformed into a slithering serpent. Long fangs dripped with venom came flying at Rin. She jumped out of the way, flipping backwards. Rin slashed threw the whip around the snakes neck. The scales sizzled with the power of the sword. The snake lunged at her again, intending on swallowing her body whole. She slid to the side on her knees at the last moment. The snake’s tale beat at the sides of the cavern, sending debris flying. The mountain trembled with the fury of the snake. _He’s going to bring the cave down on our heads!_ The snake bent over and smelled her, “you smell of defilement, your purity is gone!”

            Rin giggled, she technically was still a virgin but it wasn’t like anyone hadn’t felt her up. Rin glared, and slashed at his face again. It was then that she noticed a talisman over the right shoulder. She hit it with the whip but it didn’t generate enough force to destroy it. She drew more yoki from the sword until she felt her insides churning from the power. She aimed at the talisman again, this time shattering it from around the snake demons neck.

            Kagome nocked her arrow. She let it fly at the bonds that held Kohaku. Kohaku was caught by the neck by a furious Sesshomaru, “I should let you fall.”

            “She was lying,” Kohaku choked through the hold on her neck, “I promise I didn’t. We…”

 Sesshomaru’s grip tightened.

 “Sesshomaru! Let him go!” Inuyasha screamed at his brother from the balcony. Tetsusaiga was raised at the ready.  

            “I did not give you permission to touch her,” Sesshomaru’s eyes were flaring red.

            “Hiraikotsu!” Sango called and aimed it directly at Sesshomaru.

            “Kaze no Kizu!” Inuyasha called, aiming it directly at Sesshomaru. He lithely dodged it with Kohaku still caught in his claws. The snakes were destroyed. Miroku stood ready with Sutras as the four fought against Sesshomaru to save Kohaku.

            Rin looked at her friends and smiled, now was her chance. For years she had wanted to leave the village, to live her own life. Rin leapt over the railing while Sesshomaru was distracted, she used her whip to catch pieces of the wall and slow her descent to the path below. She landed on her feet and fled to the entrance of the cave. Free at last.


	10. Secret of the sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow I messed up the order of this story so glad I edited it. Sorry everyone!

Sesshomaru dodged blows from Inuyasha with Kohaku still dangling by his neck from his claws. Inuyasha sent Kongo-soha, meido blades and tried flying at Sesshomaru with the dragon scaled Tetsusaiga. It was no use. The meido blades hacked into the side of the mountain destabilizing the cavern. The mountain shivered, it began crumbling. Inuyasha threw meido blades at Sesshomaru larger than before, closer together leaving Sesshomaru no choice but to drop Kohaku. He threw him against the wall of the cavern.

            Sango caught Kohaku on Kirara’s back. Kohaku hugged his sister gratefully. Miroku leapt over the balcony and joined them.

            Sesshomaru looked around as the boulders began to fall from the top of the cave, “Rin!” He called. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through her nose, he cursed, _she has already left the cavern!_ Her scent was already trailing out of the cavern. He flew at the entrance as quickly as he could following Inuyasha who carried Kagome and Kirara who dodged boulders. They raced to escape before the cave collapsed on top of them. As soon as they were clear, Sesshomaru flew at Kohaku again, “meido zangetzha!” Inuyasha yelled, the meido blocked his path.

            “This doesn’t concern you Inuyasha!” Sesshomaru bellowed. He removed raised Bakusaiga in the air.

            “It does if you intend to take Kohaku’s life,” Inuyasha growled stepping in front of Kohaku, “get out of here kid.”

            Kohaku nodded half falling over to move backwards.

            “The snake said she was defiled. What did you to do with her!” Sesshomaru attacked Inuyasha full force. Inuyasha dodged to the left, then the right, flipped over and tried to kick Sesshomaru in the face.

            “Gee I wonder who defiled Rin!” Inuyasha yelled at Sesshomaru, “maybe someone else,” he raised his eyes at his brother. He pulled his sheath out to block a flood of green energy from Bakusaiga.

            “Sango, take Kohaku, quickly,” Kagome called. “O-ni-sama please listen to reason!” She kept her distance knowing she was no match for Sesshomaru.

            “Kagome stay back!” Inuyasha yelled, “Sesshomaru, you son of bitch stop!” He blocked another blow from his brother’s sword over his head.

            “MOOOOOOO,” all eyes went to the sky. A cloud formed, as an old man rode  a cow in the air.

            “Totosai?” Sesshomaru was distracted for only a moment, before he lashed out at Inuyasha again for blocking his way.

            “Really you can’t think of anyone who touched her in that way Sesshomaru? No one!” He swung at Sesshomaru’s head.

            The blade was easily deflected. Sesshomaru growled in frustration.

            “Don’t,” Inuyasha swung at him, “make,” he tried to kick his brother in the face, “me say it,” he sent another meido straight at Sesshomaru, “in front of everyone! Full moon! You remember that? Huh, you want to know what she told me? When I comforted her after she got into a huge fight with Kohaku? Should I tell everyone?” His voice was so low only Sesshomaru could hear it.

            Sesshomaru stopped, he lowered his sword, Inuyasha was right. That night, he had touched Rin in her most intimate of places, he had let himself explore her body, the tips of her breasts, the clefts of her wet crevices. Something inside of him was screaming at him to complete what he had started, he shook it out. _She can’t…I can’t…_

            “You have no idea what you did that night do you? The pain you caused?” Inuyasha breathed deeply, “Kohaku was going to propose. Then he saw you feeling her up!”

            Sesshomaru punched Inuyasha in the face.

             

            “Now you get it,” Inuyasha grumbled pulling himself off the ground. “Put that damn sword away. You ever attack me like that again and I’ll cut both your arms off.”

            Totosai landed, the cow mooed again, “oi, where is Rin-chan? I felt her sword finally awaken.”

            “That sword was amazing,” Kagome said. “Why did it sleep for so long Totosai-jiji? She’s had it for five years, it could never do that before.”

            Sesshomaru was still fuming, but then something hit him, his back was on fire, it felt like he couldn’t breathe. There was a hint of fear mixed into it as well. He nearly buckled when the next wave of pain spread over his shoulders. He was uninjured, it took him a moment to understand, he flew at Totosai and grabbed him by the throat, “why? It’s her pain isn’t it?” His back felt like it was flaming.

            Totosai inhaled deeply, his cheeks puffed out, as fire flew from his mouth aimed right at Sesshomaru. “Hey, stay off me, or I won’t explain.” Totosai sat backed up behind Inuyasha, “where is Rin?”

            “Towards the east,” Sesshomaru said instinctively but he didn’t understand why. He could smell the injuries from the battle, but something else tugged on him. It was a sense that he hadn’t had before.

            “So, it worked,” Totosai stroked his beard, “you seem surprised Sesshomaru. When you came to me, you asked for a sword that was infused with jewels from your father’s grave and made from one of your own fangs. You hoped it could provide protection to a human. I knew it was Rin, what other human has been responsible for changing you from a heartless yokai to the great Dai-Yokai you are today? You would never have mastered Tenseiga or regenerated your arm without her. But why did she need protection? You left her with warriors, you left her with a group of people who helped destroy Naraku and the Shikon No Tama, was there really a need for what you asked? So, the sword sealed itself, until the day that you would no longer see her as a child and she would no longer rely on you for help. That day was today. Today you fought as equals.”

            Sesshomaru was still furious, the fire still burned in his back, a pain not his own. She was hurt badly, “why can I feel her pain?”

            “Why can you Sesshomaru?” Totosai scratched his head and motioned Sesshomaru towards him, “closer.”

            “I want no closer to your filth,” Sesshomaru responded.

            The rest were dumbfounded listening to Totosai. Totosai motioned Sesshomaru again.

            Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. He stalked a few inches from Totosai’s face. “You didn’t happen to share a piece of yourself with Rin, did you?” The wrinkled old man asked.

            _My blood, I used it to seal her wound._

            “Do you have strong feelings towards her Sesshomaru-sama? Love perhaps?” Totosai’s eyes seemed to bulge further out of his head than they had before.

            Sesshomaru released Dokkasu at Totosai.

            “Ahhh, Inuyasha, teach him a lesson!” Totosai yelled as he jumped backwards.

            “I think he just learned one on his own,” Inuyasha snorted staring at his brother. He was the one that had comforted Rin after the incident by the full moon. He was the one that had held her while she cried. He knew that Sesshomaru felt more for Rin than he had in the past, he knew that Sesshomaru was fighting his own feelings instead of accepting them.

            “You waste my time,” Sesshomaru immediately flew away with Jaken below screaming about being left behind..

            “Oi where have you been Jaken?” Inuyasha asked. “Totosai, did you know that the sword would make Sesshomaru fall in love with Rin?”

            “What? He’s in love with her?” Totosai scratched his head again, “I don’t think even I could have predicted that. It makes sense though. As long as they continued to grow apart, Sesshomaru’s heart hardened. This was happening because he was using his anger to mask his true feelings towards Rin…something changed almost a year ago, the sword was ready to awaken, it only took Rin to know that she could defend herself without Sesshomaru by her side, making her no longer a child that needed protecting.”

            “But his Yoki is strong, how can she manage it?” Kagome asked.

            “Oh that, it was a baby fang, he got it from his mother. If he had used one of his fangs now, the sword would kill her.” Totosai laughed.


	11. Sesshomaru's Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beware of Lemons and deflowering.

_To think I would love a human…but then why did I?_ His mind went back to the night of the full moon. He had touched her, breathed in her fire. His body screamed at him that night to finish what he started. An ache clenched his chest since that night, that Sesshomaru was desperate to ignore. His soul yearned to be one with hers.

He flew towards Rin at break neck speed. The fear was getting stronger, something was wrong. _A human should not have been able to trigger that in me, it should have been another noble Yokai like myself. I can sense where she is without needing her scent. The sword calls me, we are connected through it. Love…_ he needed to know. He sensed her getting closer. When he found Rin, she was slumped against a tree. She was surrounded by ten marauders. They made remarks about the size of her waste, the beauty of her body and what they were going to do to her. They stunk of drunkenness and arousal. Sesshomaru growled in fury.  

She looked exhausted. Rin’s hand held her left side while the right hand gripped her katana. Through this strange bond, Sesshomaru knew Rin could not stand up. He waited behind the men, who had yet to notice he was there. She wanted him to believe in her, he would not intrude on her fight until she asked. Rin looked up at him and nodded, giving him silent consent to come to her aide. Rin was too exhausted to call the whip forth and push them back. It was all she could manage to keep her head up.

            “Leave,” Sesshomaru commanded them.

            “Looks like this one wants a piece too,” one of them approached Sesshomaru.

            “Leave, now,” Sesshomaru commanded again. This time for emphasis he released his energy whip and let it slash through two of the thieves. They fell to the ground screaming. Fear filled the air, Sesshomaru reveled in his power, the ability to cause fear in only a few seconds and send his enemy fleeing. They took their fallen comrades and fled. “Rin, this was not a safe area to rest.”

            Rin flashed an annoyed glare at Sesshomaru. “I thought I could make it farther, forgive me, it hurts so.” She was near tears. She tried to adjust herself only to slum back against the trunk of the tree. Rin wiped her nose and stared at the sky. “Kagome-sama calls it adrenaline. Once the fire of battle left me, the pain of the wounds overcame me. I fell by this tree. I can’t move. I held them off as long as I could.” She saw his eyes overcome with concern, “I ran through the river, how did you find me?”

            Sesshomaru walked to her side. He could hear her heart pounding faster. His own did the same. He felt a warmth and sadness, he couldn’t tell at this range if it was his or hers. Her eyes were coated with black circles. _She is weak and tired. She needs care._ “The sword, somehow it connects us.” Sesshomaru knelt down next to Rin on one knee, “I see no wound that could cause the great pain you are in. Where are you injured?”

            “The sword?” She muttered, “so it was your sadness I felt in the cave, after I said…” She let go of the hilt of the sword, the sorrow dripped from her awareness. “The bear yokai, before I hooked your ankle. He threw me against the wall, back first.” Rin struggled to sit up to allow Sesshomaru to see the injury on her back. Her muscles rebelled against her, flaming as she moved, causing her to wince. She had to bite her tongue to keep from crying out. Defeated she fell back onto the trunk of the tree. She succumbed to the pain and let out a wail. “Why did you come, now? You’ve been away for almost a year. I thought you hated me, after what happened.” She couldn’t say what it was almost too embarrassing.

            His eyes were intense as he gazed at her. Sesshomaru wrapped his fingers around Rin’s shoulders. He pulled her upright. He reached around her front and attempted to untie her obi. She grasped his wrists to stop him. “What are you doing?”

He could not only feel her panic, but smell it as well.

“No…please not again,” _the last time hurt so badly._ She begged him.

“It’s alright. I’m only looking at the wound.” He loosened her obi enough for him to lift the back of her haori. Her back was completely covered in black and blue bruises. His heart, _sorrow,_ it came washing over him. He stroked the soft, sensitive skin on her back with one crooked finger. He looped his tail underneath her and carefully helped her lay down, “you are hurt badly. I should take you back to the Miko.”

            “No, Sesshomaru-sama. I told you, I want to leave the village,” she relaxed into his tail. It did not stop the pain in her back but felt better than the dirt and tree trunk she was against before. “Why did you come?” Her voice was breaking, “why?”

            Sesshomaru stared into the sky, “Totosai came. He was going to explain the secret of your sword to you.”

            “You made it from yourself, didn’t you?” She didn’t know why she had never thought of that before. She ran her fingers over the ruby eyes.

            He nodded his head.

            “Here,” she took the handle to give him the sword. As soon as she touched the hilt her mouth fell open and her eyes widened, “you can’t.” Her gaze was piercing as she stared at Sesshomaru in disbelief. She had meant to return the sword, to sever their connection and instead all she felt was overwhelming, affection, for her.

            _So, she can only feel what I do when she is touching the sword. Why did I need to know where she was at all times?_ “Rin,” he took a deep breath, “I came to see if what he told me is true, you feel it as I do. Rin,” he gently cupped her chin his hand lifted it so he could look into her eyes, “Rin...”

            “I’ll return the sword, that way the link will be severed?” His hand felt so warm against her face, so at home.

            He simply shook his head, while turning his gaze to the sky, deep in thought. Something changed the moment he caught her in the cave. The moment his arm snaked around her waist. She was no longer the little girl that ran circles around his legs, she was strong, proud and powerful in her own right. She was attractive, she was his.

            “Why can’t you just talk like a normal human being?”

            He chuckled and half smiled, “This Sesshomaru is not human.”

            “You know what I mean. You haven’t come to see me in almost a year and you aren’t one for talking unless you are about to kill someone. Why did you come back? Why are you here? Why can’t you just let me go? Why are you still holding my face?” She held the hand that was hold her chin. She felt the heat pass between them.

            He took a deep breath, in that breath came the sweet scent of morning dew, Rin’s scent. He was unsure how to form the words, and worse, he the great Sesshomaru feared speaking them out loud. “Rin, before I met you, I was cold, calculating. I saw myself as above all others. None were worthy of being in my presence. Compassion was for the weak, and I was not that. When I brought you back with Tenseiga, it was the start of something, that I still do not completely understand. I learned to feel Rin, rage for others, sorrow, fear, joy, laughter, all because you were with me. I would never have learned to master Tenseiga, I would not have been able to let go of Tetsusiaga, or regenerate my arm and create Bakusaiga without you. You are my heart Rin, and this Sesshomaru is not ready to be without you,” with the words spoken he leaned over and pressed his lips firmly against hers. He tasted her mouth. She tasted amazing. He felt her shudder as she gripped the hilt of the sword tightly. Together their hearts raced. He used his thumb to widen the part between her lips and lick the roof of her mouth. He kissed her deeply. Sesshomaru could tell she was shocked at first. He continued until she lifted one arm and wrapped it around his waist. He stroked her hair and smelled her neck, softly nibbling on the tender sides. He took in her shivers. He ran his hand through her hair and held her gaze for a moment before breaking the kiss. He embraced her more fully, as soon as he did, she yelled out in pain. He could equally feel the pain she was in as understand from the cry that moving her in that way had hurt her.

            She winced, “forgive me Sesshomaru-sama,” there were tears in her eyes, “it hurts so badly.”

            Sesshomaru nodded. He removed his armor, set it aside and laid down next to Rin. With the greatest care, he pulled her onto his chest until he could feel her flush against him, stomach down. He felt a timid hand part the top of his haori  and come to rest just below his neck. “Then this Sesshomaru will stay with you while you heal.”

            Rin gripped his shirt as she sobbed. “I’m sorry…” She could no longer hold back the pain she was in. She had kept a brave face to scare off the thieves but now she could no longer ignore the pain, it was crippling her.

            “Stop Rin,” he wiped her tears and softly kissed her forehead, “You fought bravely.”

            She was gasping for air, she could hardly breathe as she sobbed, “Sesshomaru-sa,” he covered her lips with one finger.

            “No…you will call me Sesshomaru,” he corrected her. For emphasis he placed a bolder kiss upon her waiting lips. If he could, he would kiss her wounds away. If they were open he could use his blood again and risk the fever it caused, but the skin was closed, except the mark that ran below her eye and the one on her arm.

            Through the bond, he felt her exhaustion, her weakness, she had not eaten in days, and her body could no longer give her strength. The pain was crippling, if he did not make an effort to ignore what he felt coming through from her, he would have buckled over himself. It tugged at his heart, to see her in so much pain and not find any relief. Sesshomaru absentmindedly stroked Rin’s shoulder while she shuddered against him. “Can I do anything to relieve your pain?”

            “What happens between us now?” Rin could barely get past the flaming of her back, but she needed to know.

            Sesshomaru let out a rare soft chuckle.  

            “You just kissed me, ow,” she squeezed his shirt ruffling the lapels, the tears were coming again. “This hurts so badly,” she let her lips rest on his neck. She felt at home in his arms, warm, whole. “What happens between us now?”

            He answered by pressing his lips to hers again. Rin greeted his lips with her own. “You are no longer a child Rin, our relationship cannot be like it was before. This Sesshomaru, craves more from you.”

            “More?” She questioned him.

            “More,” he answered, pulling her lips to his. The kiss became more intense. He felt a fire building inside of him again, a yearning to complete what he started so long again. He pulled back from her, “you’re in so much pain. Tell me how to ease your pain?” The backs of his fingers ran along her cheeks.

            Rin’s heart fluttered in her chest. “Can you fly like this?” Her voice was barely audible.

            “Of course, why?”

            “I mean laying down, I don’t think I can get up again. I’m so tired,” Rin tried to adjust herself only to cry out in pain. “Can you find a hot spring? I’m so tired…I wanted to l-l-l-eave, and soak in the sp-sp-spring, b-b-but I can’t move, it hurts, it hurts.”

            His heart was breaking, if he allowed her emotions to wash over him anymore he would be in tears next to her. He laced his tail around waist and then beneath her legs. “Can you hold on?” When he looked back for an answer she was already fast asleep. _Silly woman, she was so anxious to get away from this Sesshomaru she didn’t think about what she was doing to her body. In the past I would require Jaken to provide sustenance for Rin, if she could not. Now I will._

Proudly he raised his nose in the air and sniffed deeply, he did it over and over again until he found the trace smell of sulfur and water. _Happiness_ , washed over him. He knew where he wanted to take her. He gathered his yoki, knowing that if he did not hold on to her, she would fall. It didn’t take long for him to take her to the place where they had both been the happiest, where he had almost let her go when she was sick. There was a hot spring near the field of daisies. The place where he felt the closest to her. He feared placing her on the harsh ground despite the soft soil, it was cold and every so often she would wake with a whimper. He placed a hand on her shoulder and gently kissed her cheek each time as if willing her body to close the wounds inside.

            He flew with her to a river to gather water to drink when she woke, and those sticks she used to cook fish. _Keh…this Sesshomaru has become soft, cooking for a human._ He did not want Jaken near. He could have easily called for the green monster. Sesshomaru yearned to be alone with Rin. He wanted to explore the warmth that was spreading from his chest, filling his blood with fire. He wanted to make love to her. Rin slept curled against him, only stirring occasionally. He woke her every few hours long enough to encourage to drink water before she collapsed against him again.

 

            Two days later in the middle of the night he felt her stir again. Immediately his hand was on her shoulder. This time she grasped his hand with her own. It was warmed from spending so much time within his fur, she squeezed it and looked up at him in a way he hadn’t seen before, “Sesshomaru-sa,” he covered her mouth with his own teasing her lips open so he could drink her deeply.

            “Sesshomaru,” he kissed her and asked her softly, “are you awake now?”

            “Yes,” she answered softly. He watched as her eyes slowly opened. “How long did I sleep for?”

            “Two days,” he tickled her cheek with his finger.

            She nodded.

            “Do you still feel pain?”

            She nodded again, she still could not bring herself to stand. He handed her the water he had collected so she could drink something. “You came back,” she sighed. “This makes me glad.”

 He floated gently with her towards the hot spring. As he did, he removed his own haori. His armor had already been set aside, he removed his obi and loosened his hikama. Carefully, he sat Rin up and cradled her back against his chest. He felt her shudder at his touch, “what are you doing?” He felt her trepidation. He reached in front of her loosened her obi. He used his mokomoko to brace her while he removed her own haori, revealing the battered and bruised flesh. He reached a hesitant hand out and gently touched the wounds on her shoulders, exploring the lines of shoulder blades and tracing the line from her back down to her buttocks. When he reached for her obi, she grabbed both his hands, and winced, she was breathing hard, as was he. “What are you doing Sesshomaru-s…Sesshomaru?”

            “Helping you into the hot spring, are you now suddenly able to move yourself?” He cocked an eye brow at her.

            She turned to face him, she covered her chest with her hands. He finished removing his own hikama and strode proudly past her, unashamed that he was completely naked before Rin. Rin hid her eyes in his tail. He lowered himself into the warm water and felt muscles he hadn’t realized were tense begin to relax. He took Rin’s legs and pulled them into the water, and held her under the arms while he helped her in. She was shaking. Now that the sword was not on her, he could no longer feel her mood. _So, she was right, if it isn’t in her possession, I can feel nothing._ Despite the warm water, she trembled nervously in his arms, he sniffed her neck to gauge her mood, and fear permeated the sweat that dripped like dew from her ear lobes to her shoulders. “Rin, do you fear me?”

            “I fear what happens when you become angry with me,” she still used her hands to shield herself from his eyes, but it was not easy, her muscles were sore and she felt like her arms didn’t want to listen to her commands. “You leave, but you don’t tell me if you are returning.” She rest her head in the crook of his neck and found his hair in one of her hands. She stroked it softly, not understanding why it felt so comfortable. “How do I know, after this you won’t do it again, should I displease you?”

            He looked up at the moon, it was full, like the last time he had seen her almost a year before. He considered her question, Rin was right whenever he became overwhelmed by the emotions he had spent years pinning down he left the village Rin lived in and did not return. Sesshomaru spent the time telling himself that she was safe, happy, and that she no longer needed him, and eventually he missed her laugh, her innocence, her smile and the time he spent with her. He used his hands to slowly pour water over her shoulders. He was unsure how to answer.

            Rin wanted to get off his lap, to get away from his heat. The way he held her, she could feel him hard against her legs, that was the closest she had ever been to any man. She was breathing deeply and swallowed hard. She tried to pull away from him, but one of his arms was wrapped around her waist. His hand felt at home around her and he encouraged her to rest her head against his chest while he used a cupped hand to pour water down her back. _Get a hold of yourself,_ she breathed heavily, _so maybe he was serious, maybe he really loves me. And you know him, once he wants something he won’t stop until he gets it…_ That was all she needed to think for her to finally register what he wanted from her.

“Your heart is pounding,” he whispered seductively in her ear.

            Rin didn’t know how to answer. She tried to stand up but her legs immediately buckled underneath her, head went down into the warm water. A strong hand reached around her waist and she was back on Sesshomaru’s lap. Was he laughing? She threw water at his face and then gave up and accepted his embrace.

            Sesshomaru wiped the drops she splashed from his nose, “are you so desperate to get away from me?”

“I’ve never…” She leaned forward, trying to adjust herself so she didn’t feel the heat of his loins against her thighs. “I’ve never…” The heat of his chest mixed with the springs felt like heaven on her back, but kami he was so close to her.

            He took in the shape of her breasts floating in the water, the tremble of her body against his, the softness of her thighs and how the heat between her legs seemed to call for him. “Been with a man before,” he finished for her.

            “I don’t understand this,” she told him, she was trying to get away but her body wouldn’t listen. “One minute, you wouldn’t lay hands on me…the next, your…”

            He could think of no way to comfort her other than to cup her chin and kiss her deeply. This time she resisted, but it wasn’t in his nature to accept resistance, he continued kissing her until he felt her resistance melt. He used his other hand to gently rub her back, touching it softly. She was still stiff. He pulled her close to him, “Rin…” he tilted her head back and poured water across her brow and slowly massaged her temples. “This Sesshomaru wants to make love to you, it will not happen, unless it is what you want.”

Her eyes were wide and alert. “Make love to me?”

“Yes,” he said as if it was the most serious thing in the world, “I wish to hold you close to my heart.” Her breasts were pointing at him.  The flow of the water created a river between them, he could no longer resist, he bent over and teased one with his mouth.

            Rin felt a heat building between her legs, she arched her back involuntarily towards Sesshomaru. “Stop,” she said, the ball of fire was growing almost to pain, “please?” She wasn’t ready yet.

            She could read the disappointment in his eyes, “just let me get used to being here,” she rested her head on his chest. “I’m sorry.” He continued to use his hand to lap water against her bruised back. “It’s just the sensations were new and last time,” she feared saying it, “last time you hurt me.”

            His stomach pitched, she hadn’t said anything.

            “You made me feel like you didn’t want me, like I was unworthy of your affections. You shared something with me, and then took it away without explaining why…why Sesshomaru? Why did your eyes turn red? I thought that only happened when you are channeling a great amount of Yoki.” Rin was trying to understand this changed Sesshomaru, who was caring for her, who was making it clear he wanted to be intimate with her. She made an offering and kissed the skin slightly above his collar bone. This time he shuddered, he smiled down at her. His skin was hardened with muscles cream in color.

            “Rin, that is very personal.” He adjusted her in his lap. If he got any closer to her throbbing center, his eyes might change again. He could not read her emotions clearly.

            “And what you did to me wasn’t personal? No one ever touched me like that before! And what you are trying to do with me now?” She held his hand, “this is new for me, Sesshomaru.”

            “Now, I’m trying to heal your wounds,” that wasn’t entirely true. She was beautiful. Why hadn’t he taken the time before to get to know her body? To see that it was not a child’s body? He loved how strong and independent she had become. She no longer needed his protection. Rin could stand on her own two feet. He never imagined a time would come when they would fight side by side. It was attractive, it was what drew him too her.

            “And then?”

            He took a deep breath, “then it was primal,” he kissed her, deeply, taking in her scent and the taste of her tongue, “Rin I am not human, if I choose a partner for life, it does not happen the way it would for humans. It’s not like Inuyasha and Kagome, there is no courtship period, no roses and flowers. It’s primal, it’s a deep-seated need to connect to someone and bare your children. I was channeling my Yoki, had I not stopped myself, we would have been bound to one another…I didn’t believe for a moment, a human would be the one to activate that need in me. Had you been Yokai, you also would have gone into an instinctual mode and there would be no stopping, not until the act was finished and only afterwards a recognition of the bond created. If I hadn’t stopped myself I would have taken you even against your will. The feeling was overpowering.”

            _Damn this knot in my stomach, and oh how it burns down there._ She put one hand on his face until he was facing her. “You would have raped me?”

Rin was met with growling next to her ears. “Do not term it like that.”

“You said you would even if I didn’t want it.”

“That is why I told you to leave me and refused to look at you, I would not do that to you Rin. I would not act like the thieves that killed your friend.”

A flash of sadness washed through Rin, she thought about Satsu. “Is that what you want from me now? To bind yourself to me? Not just to make love to me, to make me yours?”

            “Rin,” he stroked her stomach, she flinched again, “are you injured there as well?”

            “No.” She was unsure what to say, “it just feels new, I’m not sure what to do with all the sensations I’m feeling.”

            “What feelings?”

            Rin blushed, there was that heat she felt, and then the fact that it was starting to be comfortable sitting on Sesshomaru-sama’s lap while they were both completely naked. Rin stopped her train of thought there and thought about what it would mean to be bound to him permanently. _Do I love him?_ Her mind tracked back to the memories of the blushes, the heart flutters, the way it had become impossible for them to be around each other without fighting, like they were both battling themselves internally. “It feels nice, being here with you, like this.”

            His eyes lit up as he kissed her, “I will not bind you to me without your consent. It would make this permanent. I will become jealous of any who look at you, I will kill the one that touches you, and if we make love while I am in that state, I may not be able to stop myself from taking you, even if you beg me to. If you were a yokai you would feel that permanence to me, but as you’re not it is I who would be wholly bonded to you. Only death or great heart ache can break it.”

            “It sounds like a marriage.” Rin gathered his hair from behind his back and pulled it towards her. She ran her fingers through it deftly. “What happens? How do you do it?”

            “My yoki will flow into your body, into your soul. You most likely will feel nothing, perhaps you will. When it is over, our souls will be one. It happens during an act of intimacy.”

            Rin’s eyes were like saucers taking in what Sesshomaru was saying. “What about children? I thought you hated half-breeds, I can’t give you a full-blooded Yokai,” she sighed. She felt so comfortable next to him. Did he even understand that?

            Sesshomaru poured water down Rin’s front, once more causing her to shiver in his lap. He enjoyed her innocence. _Could I bare a hanyou? I spent years nurturing hatred towards Inuyasha for causing the death of our father, but he does not give up, he keeps fighting._

            “Sesshomaru?” She asked, she took him by the chin and pulled his face to hers. “Could you stand to father a hanyou?”

            He pursed his lips.

            “You can’t say it, can you? You’re ridiculous!” She threw water in his face.

            If it had been anyone else showing him so little respect, dokkasu would have covered their bodies, but it was comical to him coming from Rin, and endearing. She was with Sesshomaru because of who he was, not because she feared him. “Rin,” he felt her trying to squirm off his lap once more, it helped that she was weakened or this game would become boring. “Rin,” he knew he had to answer her, but what was the answer? “This Sesshomaru’s blood would father a hanyou stronger than any Yokai. And if you keep trying to get off my lap you’re going to drown.”

            Rin’s smile lit up her eyes. She put her arms around his neck and this time she kissed him. He felt her pressed against him, her body was soft. When she pulled away, her face was still concerned. “You never answered me, if I displease you again?”

            “I will not stay away so long again.” Sesshomaru embraced Rin. His arms circled beneath hers. He kissed her neck and nibbled along her collar bone. He took in the shape of her breasts running down his chest. His mouth swept down to her pink nipples. Rin gasped as the sweet pleasure tingled between her legs growing in intensity.

Rin wondered if he would mind if she touched him, it was still taught and pressed against her thighs. She let her hand fall if to just to feign touching the tip, it was hard and smooth.

            This time he let out a slow rumbling moan. “Rin, I can help you understand what your body is feeling.” Sesshomaru knew she had touched him like that on purpose. It had made him want to grab her and take her right then. He raised one knee and let her lean back, exposing her breasts to him. He firmly touched her breast, this time she did not fight him, she closed her eyes, and he felt her shiver. “No,” he instructed, “eyes open, look at me.” He toyed with her nipple and enjoyed watching her back arch, until she gasped in pain and removed his hand. He laughed quietly, “as eager as this Sesshomaru is, I think we should wait until your body is more healed.” She looked disappointed. “Is something wrong?” He asked her.

            Rin flushed red. She didn’t want to tell him that she felt like he had lit a fire between her legs, and she wasn’t sure how to put it out. Rin was sure that she needed his help. She was in pain yes, but what he was doing felt more wonderful. She drew his ear close to hers and whispered, “there is a fire inside of me.”

            Sesshomaru smiled at her and laughed. “Can you withstand the pain your body is in?” He traced her collar bone with his finger and smelled her neck, she was yearning for his touch, but had yet to truly understand that.  Sesshomaru lifted Rin, “straddle my lap.”

            “Okay,” her stomach was doing flips on her, her hands shook as they held onto his broad shoulders. She moved her legs around his knees. Rin gasped when he set her down.

            He was entertained, by how she equally hungered for him and trembled in nerves on his lap. Like this he could feel himself pressing softly against her opening. If he moved her only slightly he would be inside. They were both breathing faster. Curiously he kissed her neck,  her collar bone and then slowly worked his way to her left breast. He caressed it sharply. Then buried his mouth in it, teasing until he felt her arch. Sesshomaru braced her back with his arm, so as not to cause her pain, but just as he knew she was feeling pleasure he used his other arm, to reach between her legs. One of her hands immediately shot down and grabbed his wrist. “Sesshomaru?” She was breathing fitfully, her level of panic spiked.

            “Trust me,” he mumbled in her ear, “trust me, to relieve that fire you feel. You will like how this feels.”

            “What are you…?” She couldn’t finish her sentence.

            “Touching you,” he replied deviously, “here,” he circled her bud.

            She rocked against his finger, “oh…that feels good,” she kissed his mouth.

She tried to hang her head on his shoulder as he toyed with one of her nipples between his fingers and felt the pleasure shoot between her labia, but Sesshomaru didn’t allow it. He wanted to enjoy watching her eyes shoot open, watching her mouth open in a soft pout, hear her moan and groan in deep pleasure. He steadily circled her growing bud, enjoying the sounds she was making in his ears, the desperation forming in her eyes.

            “Sesshomaru,” she moaned, “please…stop…” The sensation was almost too much for her. She continued to hold his wrist tightly in one hand while gripping his shoulder in the other. Sesshomaru was teasing the fire within her and instead of putting it out it was getting hotter. She was unsure how much more she could handle. “Please,” she begged, her head fell on his shoulder. Rin was unsure if she truly wanted him to stop, it felt exquisite and intense all at once, almost more than she could take.

            “You will feel relief soon.” He growled and pulled her head back. It was taking all his control to not be rougher with her. He wanted her to feel sweet release. She did not know yet what it felt like.

            “Please,” she plead with him. She started following his motions with her hips as she straddled him, one hand held his wrist tightly while the other held onto the side of the hot springs for dear life. She could feel the fire building from within her, it was like a straight line to her stomach burning a hole through her middle. “Sesshomaru,” she moaned as inserted first one finger and then a second deep inside of her. He felt the barrier, the sign that none had been there before him, he wanted to spare her the pain, and told himself he would wait until he felt her pulsing against him, and then he would sever it with his claws.

            “Rin,” he rubbed his forehead against her chest and rolled her nipples in his mouth, using tongue to catch them, he took her free hand, and brought it lower into the water, where he used his hand to guide hers to himself. This time his eyes shot wide open, he helped her stroke his member. She was on the edge, he would push her over, carry her from the water and then bury himself within her soft folds.

            “Please,” she begged him. The pleasure was shooting from her center into her stomach, “Sesshomaru,” he heard the desperation in her voice, she was there, “oh,” her breath was rasping and quick, she was pulsating against him. Rin was exactly where he wanted her to be.

            He groaned with her, feeling himself stiffen even harder. Before she could tell what he did, he ran a swift claw through the barrier, breaking it. He lifted her from the water underneath her bottom in one arm while continuing to stimulate her with his fingers. She didn’t even notice what he had done. He sat down underneath the cherry tree with her on his lap. She noticed the dangerous look in his eye. It was only then that Rin realized he was serious about making love to her.

            He pulled her hips closer to his. He held her hands in his, one in each hand. She was still pulsating, “I don’t know if I can do this,” Rin trembled. She shook her head, “Sesshomaru, please. I don’t.”

            He kissed her softly, gingerly then pulled away, “if you wish to stop, I will.” He was breathing hard.

            She began to cry, “I don’t know.” Her body felt hot and she sensed a need to give him what he had given her. “I’m scared.”

            He lifted her face to his, “I will be gentle.”

            “I’ve seen you do this before. You never looked gentle,” she shook her head vehemently.

            Sesshomaru chuckled, “you are not a demoness. I will not throw you to the ground and care not for you in the morning.” He cupped Rin’s chin.

“I’m afraid it will hurt. I’m afraid you’ll make me pregnant. We aren’t married, I shouldn’t be doing this,” her forehead rest against his.

“Who is here to watch us? I will not abandon you, Rin. If this pairing makes a child we will raise it together. “ He caressed the hair from her cheeks, “You may feel some discomfort. I will enter slowly and move carefully,” he lifted her buttocks up until she was hovering just over him. She felt him find her entrance, he thumbed her clit again causing her to fall against his shoulder in pleasure. She tried to bury her face in his shoulder, but he lifted it up again, “Let me look at you. I want you to know who fills you, who is the one that gives you this intense pleasure,” he stopped for a moment, his voice had spiked similar to when he boasted during battle but then it became soft as he helped her to part her legs more to make more room for him, “and the one who is in love with you.”

            “You love me?” Her voice was soft. The only thing stopping him from entering was her knees digging into the forest floor.

            “You are my heart Rin,” he spoke as he kissed her mouth. “Do you not share my love?”

            Rin nodded. Sesshomaru’s very hungry erection was dipping just between her lips, licking against her core. “I do. I always have.” _Maybe that is why it’s been so hard to be around him._ “I’m still scared.”

            “Trust me, Rin,” he pulled her hips down over his. “Relax,” he pressed his fingers inside her. “Relax your opening.” When he felt her muscles loosen he removed his hand. “Ready?”

            Rin nodded her head, her body ached for what he had to offer her. “Slowly? Please?” Rin carefully allowed her legs to lower.

            Sesshomaru adjusted his legs, it would be easier if she were on her back, however that was the part of her body that was the most injured. He slid his middle finger across her bud then inside her opening. The movement brought another moan from Rin’s lips. He used his other hand to bring her face to his. He laced her lips against his own as he did, Sesshomaru helped angle her hips over himself until he began to advance.

            Rin whimpered against his neck, she adjusted her knees on either side of him, “I’m scared,” the tears continued to roll off her cheeks. Her muscles clenched.

“Don’t tense,” Sesshomaru comforted her, “are you sure you want this? We can stop now. It won’t hurt as long as you relax and accept me as I enter.”

“How do you know so much about human virgins?,” she whispered.

“Is this what you want Rin?” He asked her again, his crescent moon still pressed against her forehead. His eyes searched hers for an answer.

Rin felt the fire heating up again as she hovered over him, her back was getting tired. She felt warmth for Sesshomaru unlike she had for any other. Even Kohaku had not made her lips burn, or skin tingle when he kissed her. “I’m ready.” She grasped his member in her hand and brushed it over opening, “just hold me?”

As her legs lowered, he advanced inside of her. He felt like a hot iron going inside. She felt her muscles stretching as he began to fill her. The sides burned, she didn’t feel the pinch of pain others spoke of, but there was a slight sting. In only a few moments she rest on top of his lap, with his member fully engaged. Sesshomaru held Rin’s hands in his, his forehead had not left hers, “does it hurt?” He stroked her cheek, removing a lone tear.

            “It stings a little, my back is tired,” her voice was almost inaudible. He felt firm and hard between her legs, she felt him so deeply within her, Rin couldn’t tell where ended and she began.

            Sesshomaru leaned back against the sakura tree. He pulled Rin over on top of him, “rest your head while your body gets used to the feel of this Sesshomaru.” He busied himself massaging her nipples in his hands and kissing her lips. The movement caused him to slip further inside of Rin. He lift Rin up enough to take in her body. His golden eyes stared up at her. Her lips were perfect, thin on the top with a rather pouty bottom lip. Firm hips pressed against his own. Full breasts with beautiful pink nipples. Holding back was almost more than he could take. He ran his hand through Rin’s hair before he rocked his hips up the first time.

She felt his first thrust and nearly became unglued, “ah…” Her hands fell to either shoulder. A second thrust, she gripped his shoulders, eyes full of lust stared back at her, “oh…”

            A smile creased his lips, “move your hips with me,” his hand rested on either side of her buttocks, the next time he slid up, he helped her find her rhythm, “mmmh,” he purred. He felt snug inside of her, like a slick wet glove, gripping him. He touched her cheek with the back of his fingers, “okay?” He pushed against her again.

            “Mmmh,” Rin couldn’t hold back the noises flying from her mouth. The first few thrusts were cautious, adagio, rolling into her now they were coming stronger and faster, making her gasp for air, her insides coming alive. Her body was begging for another release. She could feel her moisture washing over him, covering him. She stroked his bangs from his eyes, the edges glowed bright red, but had not completely changed the way they did under the light of the full moon, _it must be so difficult for him to hold back like this._ “You’re holding back,” she gasped. She boldly bent over and kissed him moving her hips with his.

            His hands now sure that she was in sync with him moved to her breasts, massaging her nipples, taking them in her mouth, he stopped to take in her eyes, the way she was grinding against his full shaft, “Rin…I” he felt weak, “Rin,” he couldn’t get the words out. He was holding back a river of yoki that wanted to pour from his soul into hers, a desperate need to bond to her. Sesshomaru was too proud to beg, he needed release in more ways than one.

            The strain was clear in his eyes. Golden orbs tottering on bleeding crimson. His teeth slightly elongated. It was almost as if she could feel the dam inside of him breaking. “Bind me to you,” she rasped with the next thrust. “Sesshomaru, make me yours,” Sesshomaru stared intently into her eyes as if he his soul was linking with hers through the connection. It was like a flood of Yoki entered inside of him. It flowed through his body, meeting the sweet warmth of Rin’s soul. She rolled her hips against his, holding onto neck, her muscles so close to releasing once again.

            He hadn’t taken his eyes off her, and he allowed himself to lose control. His eyes immediately pitched red, his body trembled and he pushed her against the soil. _She’s hurt, she’s hurt…at least remember that much._ He quickly put his mokomoko to cushion her. His hands greedily reached for her hips, pushing her harder against his own. One claw dug into her shoulder. She dug her nails into his shoulders, hanging on for life, as he thrust in and out. Rin winced as he grazed her shoulders with his teeth. “Mine,” he groaned against her neck, “one soul, our soul. Become one with me.” He wrapped her legs around his waist, the motion freed her fire, she shook against him moaning in ecstasy. The muscles in his arms tensed. The yoki raged in his ears in a blinding fury, “become one with me.” She felt him thrust one last time and then he was still and panting in her ear. She was breathing heavily. He could smell the faintest scent of her first blood. He felt invigorated knowing that he was the first to explore her deep cavern. Sesshomaru gently pulled her back into his lap and allowed her to rest her head against his shoulder. “I love you,” his voice was low, almost inaudible as he cradled Rin’s chin in his hand. He warmed her mouth with his own. “You’re mine now.”

“I love you,” she muttered in his ear. “I’ve always been yours.”

He could feel her tears streaming from her eyes and dripping slowly down his back. He kissed the knuckles of one of her hands, “alright?”

            “Yes,” she numbly tried to move off his lap only to be reminded of how much pain she was in. Rin buckled over on top of him. “Forgive me, I still have trouble moving.”

            He pulled her back to his chest in a sweet embrace and lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “Did I hurt you?”

            “No,” she lied.

            He touched the blood on her shoulder he knew was inflicted by his hand, “mmh?”

            “Just a little.”

            Sesshomaru tenderly wiped the tears from her eyes, “tears?”

            “I’m just happy,” she kissed his mouth softly, “thank you for coming back.” She continued to embrace him.

 

            There it was the bond, he could feel her in every inch of his mind. Where he was instinctively protective before, he felt as if parting with her would be his death. Sesshomaru’s heart now belonged to Rin, he would never be able to part from her at least not for long periods of time, the separation would cause him pain. He gazed into her eyes and smiled as she yawned into his neck. He helped her lay down, using his tail to buffer her. He took some of the water he had gathered and offered it to her drink. When she finished he took his white haori and used it to cover both of them. She began drifting off to sleep before he had made it comfortably next to her. He pulled her to his chest, making sure her injured back was flush against him, the heat from his body would continue to soothe her wounds. This woman had changed him, he stared at the stars, they were under the light of the full moon once more. _I see now, this is love that I feel._

 

Epilogue

 

            They remained in the field of daisies until Rin could walk comfortably on her own. Sesshomaru left only once to find Jaken and have him send a message to Kaede and the rest that Rin would stay with him from now on, he had no interest in being parted from her. He instructed Jaken to bring salves from Jinenji and food for Rin as well as clean clothes from Kaede’s hut. Sesshomaru warned Jaken that if he said a single word about Sesshomaru’s relationship with Rin or came near their camp at night, or at all, Sesshomaru would kill him. The warmth that he felt for Rin only continued to grow.

It was as if that first week was their honeymoon. He spent the days applying the salves to her back, watching as the bruises faded. She asked him to walk with her along the River’s edge, and they shared deep conversations. The second night after she woke from sleep, Rin shyly buried her head into Sesshomaru’s chest and whispered in his ear, asking him to take her in his arms and make love to her. He obliged her request happily stoking the fire within her again until she was calling his name and pulsating against him.

When the second week had finally ended and she had her strength they travelled back to Kaede’s hut to gather what things she needed. Sesshomaru reminded Kaede that he had left Rin there only until she had grown old enough to make her own choice, and she now had. Kaede berated Sesshomaru about Rin being old enough to wed now and that should take precedence over him taking her with him. Sesshomaru failed to mention that he had taken Rin to his bed and bonded her. All it took was an icy glare to end that conversation.

            A month later Rin was picking berries by the river which she was taken by a wave of nausea. Sesshomaru was somewhere, she was unsure where with Jaken tending to something while Rin was left with A-Un. Her morning breakfast of figs, berries and nuts now lay on the forest floor. Rin touched her stomach, feeling truly happy. She had not cycled since she and Sesshomaru were together. Rin washed the vomit from her mouth, and from her clothes knowing how sensitive her love’s nose was. She made distance between where she threw up before she put her hand on the hilt of the sword and focused, calling Sesshomaru. They had practiced taking advantage of the bond the sword created and within moments she felt a gush of wind fly past her. He was in front of Rin with a smile on his face.

            Sesshomaru felt truly happy.  This too was a new feeling, to not be brooding, to not be angry, but to simply be content. He embraced Rin in his arms, “you felt joy in this calling.” When the feeling washed over him, he knew she wanted him near, but there.

            Rin pulled his face down to hers and kissed him intensely before taking his hand and placing it on her stomach, “the strongest hanyou,” she whispered in his ear. “I’m pregnant.”

            Sesshomaru’s heart was full to bursting, he lifted her in the air by the waist and spun her around. “You’re sure?”

            “I threw up again and I’m late,” she hoped he understood what she just said.

            His crooked finger circled her stomach. _My child grows inside her._ He felt the sudden urge to feel himself inside of her. “Come let’s find somewhere private.” He took her hand leading her to trees that would provide them with cover.

            “What? Why?” She followed after him. He tugged her along.

            When he thought they were covered by bushes and trees, he pulled Rin to the forest floor. “Oh…” Rin laughed, “I should have known.”

            From the distance a pair of beady eyes watched them, “disgusting, a dai-yokai fouling his blood with that of a human…just wait Sesshomaru-sama, you now have something to lose and I will have you on your knees in agony.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review


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